"Attention Red Bank Regional, excuse the interruption,"
We held our breaths and waited for what we knew was coming
"I am saddened to announce the passing of one of our students, Riyahdna Farrow."
We all looked up at each other and time seemed to stand still
We knew it'd happened, we were the first to know
But that announcement made it all so real
Senior year and she was gone
We left that little room that reeked of our tears and memories shared
We were greeted with hugs and condolences
But none of that mattered
She was gone
No amount of hugs or "are you okays" was going to bring her back
Time went on and the condolences stopped coming, teachers asked for work to be handed in and we were expected to **** it up and move on but i didn't I couldn't
******* it I wanted her to come back
I wanted to wake up and her walk in and shout "APRIL FOOLS"
But it was September and I was still hurting
But that doesn't really seem to matter

-To acknowledge the different between being religious and being spiritual
-To let myself be happy
-To try to keep in contact with people who are worth it
-To ignore those who aren't
-To learn to love life
-To attempt to, if nothing else, appreciate the Florida weather as much as I love my garden state weather
-To make it to London
-To start doing things for myself
-To not forget others
-To respect myself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves me, grows me, or makes me happy

They tell me that what I do is stupid
They say it's dangerous
I tell them I'm an artist just like any other
I scout for the perfect spot just like the photographer
I make my lines very intentionally and precise like the painter
Or when I feel wild they're whimsical
Like any sketch
My medium is just unique
I may use medal
I may use blood
But I'm inspired by emotions evoked in my life
Just like the rest
So why is my form frowned upon
Good sir, destruction is just another form of creation

I vow to let you help me
Even when I don't think I need it
And I vow to ask for help
When I know I need it
I vow to always participate in your random dance parties
I vow to be your motivation
When everything is telling you to give up
I vow to give you all I have
And to compensate for all I lack
Most importantly I vow to always love you
For all that you are and all that you have yet to become

We smile we laugh
We giggle we spend hours upon hours
Recklessly living and then
We fall
Harder and faster and deeper
And
Then
We hit the bottom
The snake pit of betrayal
Engulfs us
And all we though we knew
All we thought we felt
No longer exists
The sound of your laugh doesn't echo
In my mind anymore
The thought of your touch doesn't
Make my skin jump
When my phone rings I pray you aren't on the other end
The other end of this hatred
I've pumped
And this resentment I've ingested

I don't think you understand what it's like to see her when she 's passionate about something.
The way she sits up and immediately focuses on one thing.
The way her eyes light up, and her words come out too quick, and the way she uses her hands to talk.
The way she forgets about everything else, anyone, anything.
The way she looks me right in the eye
The way she tells me off
The way her lips quirks as she tries to keep a straight face
I don't think you understand what it's like to see her in her true beauty.

I've only gone mad
A few times in my life
But each time,
I caught myself having
Too much time to think
And not nearly enough to
Think about