This hair
These eyes
lips
and nose
This figure
These toes
Is not who I am
We all have
fingernails and
eyelashes
But its what's underneath
My hopes and dreams
Our fears and flaws
That make us who we are
Those wishes we keep wishing
I wish you could really see me
No
I wish you could see
Beyond what you see
And realize your vision decieves
And I am more than what I appear to be
There is more to me than me.

In the beginning
There was only you
And my longing
For you
Then
There was us
Living in our lives
We loved
You and I
At last
There was me
And I learned
I could no longer live
Half a life
I
being whole
came to terms
I could be happy
Alone
But not lonely

You make me smile
When it's been a bad day
You'll do some silly thing
And I'll laugh
and laugh
You make me do that
like only you can
I want to suffocate you
with love
Sure, sometimes
you annoy me
and hog the bed
But then suddenly
I don't care
Because you're one of my best friends
And though you frustrate me
to my wits end
I'm so glad to have you there
Watson
You're the best **** dog here

Shattered and Relieved
to realize
that what we had
was nothing more
than something small
and tragic.

Distressed and Smiling
to read the past
figure out the fact
that you are nothing.

I've wasted time
but not that much
having come to terms
with the word:
"enough."

Crushed and Invincible
I've been so bruised
that now I'm strong
And all I can do
is breathe and learn.

You're a fool
but so am I.
Otherwise I wouldn't cry.
You're wise.
I'll be wise too.
And walk away
avoid your eyes
until there's no more pain.

Destroyed but Rebuilding.
I may never forgive you
but I'm okay with that too.
Even if I do,
I will never be your friend.
So don't say hello.
We are no more than strangers.

Hurt but Happy.
It's a freeing feeling
knowing you've started healing
When you stop revolving around the sun.

And start living for yourself.

So far away.
These few feet in distance
Apart
from
them
Laughing faces.
Good times.
Friends of mine.
The next room over
and I can see them
But I can't see myself fitting.
Cards and Games.
***** and ****.
Loud voices.
Camraderie.
Why not me?
I want to join
but
I don't want to join.
I listen to their conversations
wallow in myself
with bluegrass
and cigarettes
as company.
Why not me?
I want to join
but
I dont want to join.
Alone.
Detached.
Broke up with the universe.
Too much fun in this room
It's suffocating.
Obnoxious.
I want to be obnoxious.
I want to suffocate
in joy and all around warmth.
But I'm claustrophobic
I'll stand
apart.
Cold.
Alone.
But lonely?

Sometimes I wish I lost my ability to speak
So I could stop saying anything
Without the stress of filling silence
and trying to impress, to entertain.
I fantasize about this everyday
Miss Social Butterfly flying away.
The talkative girl without a thing to say.
No more judgment. No more tears.
I could just smile and nod
to whatever you say.
No opinions. No arguments.
No longer worrying about
filling the awkward pauses others leave,
ridding the quiet of the late evening.
Being me, instead of pretending.
Instead of always talking without saying anything.
I talk and talk
and don't mean a thing I say at all.
I work to be the person
everyone wants me to be.
Outspoken and Independent
all the while wishing someone would stick up for me (speak for me)
instead of working to stand up for everybody.
Peaceful Muteness. Still and Stopped.
If I only didn't have a voice
to take for granted
and abuse
by speaking things without thought or meaning
then maybe, I would be happy
in speechlessness
just blending into the backward
and disappearing
going against my nature
and vanishing into the
background shaking of heads
and becoming only a ****** expression.
in the distance.

Desperate kisses
Taste roses and peaches
Grips hair
Breath trembles
Desire
Lust
Craving
Yearning
Velvet bed
Tight flower
Hot sheets enchant
Untie corset
Unhook garters
Fingers dance slow circles
Pouring wax
Stroking oil
Soft hips
Tongue stroking...
Strawberry shudders
Unyielding teeth
Weak pleasures
Sultry sway
Heightens raw need, greed

Burst Cherry
Exquisite cries
Swimming body freely
Skin glides
******
Penetrate
Damp Rhythm
Primitive, Swollen, Ragged, Fevered
                                                       ­                                         ****.