Each time that Britain clashed against
The Continental powers,
We'd turn to him for guidance,
Throughout those dreadful hours.
And as our hopes were dashed again,
And annihilation came,
He'd remind us all, with jokes and quips,
IT'S ONLY A BLOODY GAME!
Sir Terry had a very long and distinguished career at the BBC and I will always remember him for his wonderfully irreverent take on the Eurovision Song Contest.
Don't bother with Halloween costumes,
Like the monster wielding an axe,
Dress up as an unexpected bill,
Or a demand to pay more tax.
Pretend to be negative equity,
An inadequate pension pot,
An interest rate that's climbing,
Or a sinkhole under our plot.
You don't even need to wear scary garb,
You can spook us with what you say,
Tell men they're beginning to lose their hair,
Or women they're turning grey.
For these are the things that scare us,
And truly give us a fright,
Tell us we're facing redundancy,
And you'll keep us awake at night.
But if all that fails to move us,
And you're feeling really bold,
Just remind us we'll never be young again,
And say we look really old.
But the very thought of it scares the hell out of me.
Abandoned by my maker,
I braved the world alone,
Following my destiny,
To make it on my own.
Driven by potential,
The journey has been long,
Battered by adversity,
Adventure made me strong.
Do not try to own me,
My spirit must be free,
I'm nobody's plaything,
I AM PADDLE-TO-THE-SEA.
A tavern full of bawdy song,
Wenches serving beer,
Dark words about the castle,
Where virgins disappear...
Lightning strikes the battlements,
The villagers take fright,
A coffin lid creaks open
As howling fills the night.
Carriages and horses,
Bodices and hats,
Screaming from the forest,
Demons, wolves and bats.
Lots of bouncing bosoms,
Blood and guts galore,
Ghosts and ghouls and skeletons,
And corpses by the score.
But now the hero fights back,
With crucifix and stake,
And evil is defeated,
As dawn begins to break.