Aug 29

You were born far away in Armenia,
I came from Jackson Heights,
But though we shared no language,
Raw passion filled our nights.

I sacrificed my marriage,
My house and my career,
But these things mattered not to me.
So long as I had you near.

And even though you left me,
To seek out pastures new,
I'll treasure till my dying day,
The love I shared with ewe.

RIP Gene Wilder (1933-2016)

Gene Wilder will be remembered for so many great comic roles. However, my favourite character was the unfortunate Dr Ross in Woody Allen's "Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex". If you're not familiar with the plot, the following clip gives a taste.

Aug 26

Inhaling the scent of a tropical paradise
You run happily
Along a sun-kissed beach
With sand between your toes
And the wind in your hair.
Your nights are filled with laughter and joy
And you wonder how
You could possibly get any happier.
...If you're drinking Bacardi.

Gagging on the stench of piss and shit
You tread carefully
Over a toy-strewn floor
With Lego beneath your feet
And pulling out your hair.
Your nights are filled with argument and frustration
And you wonder if
You will ever get your life back.
...If you're raising a toddler.

Inspired by the "aspirational" Bacardi adverts which they used to show at British cinemas:


(My son is no longer a toddler. However, on some days, like today, he behaves like he still is.)
Aug 23

With hungry lips and teasing tongue,
He lets his mouth explore,
Feels the morsel harden,
And hears her beg for more.

Caveman strikes again.
Jul 1

A lovely place that can't be found,
On any British map.
Yet one I used to see with Mum,
While sitting on her lap.

RIP Gordon Murray, creator of Camberwick Green, Trumpton and Chigley. Wonderful programmes from my childhood.

May 30

Frantic on a fence-post,
It tweets without reply.
Feathers on the patio,
Reveal the reason why.

I love my cats.
However, on days like this, my feelings are mixed!
Mar 31

There'll be no more selling fork handles,
And no more "language" from Tim,
No more of those wonderful monologues,
For it's sadly goodnight from him.

RIP Ronnie Corbett (1930-2016)

Mar 12

No room for dancing angels,
Just magic and surprise.
The devil's in the detail,
Of heads and open eyes.

If you're not familiar with the amazing work of the micro-sculptor Willard Wigan, check out his website.

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