The steam of the shower burning.
The knots in my stomach churning.

Scrubbing.
     Scrubbing.
          Scrubbing.

Lather. Rinse. Repeating.

Scrubbing.
     Scrubbing.
          Scrubbing.

Skin is raw and bleeding.
Red water is rising.
But the anxiety's not subsiding.

Skin is raw and bleeding.
But the filth of you remains.
My body you have stained.

Nothing can be again quite as it was before
like my thoughts after seeing you lying on the floor
passed out in puddles of **** and *****

Took care of you all night long it's
a shame the things I told you, you'll never remember
or maybe you do and it's easier to play the pretender.

Acting like nothing had happened
protecting your pride
but it speaks volumes that you can't or won't look in my eyes.

We'll never be anything, expect for that night
when I said I loved you, and you said "alright".

Loving you
Is leaving me black and blue
Instead of pretty things
You leave me purple rings
Impressions on my skin
Reminders of where you've been

Your hands wrapped around my neck so tight,
left me gasping for air,
but when I looked down I saw,
mine were the ones keeping them there.

New Text Message; 3:03,
read you wanted to see me,
but as you ****** me from behind,
my face was the last thing on your mind.

I know this is what I signed up for,
simply *** and nothing more,
but lately I've been feeling,
my pulse race in anticipation of our next meeting.

Realized I had it in for you bad,
when you mentioned how many other girls you had,
and I smiled, played along, and lied,
pretending you weren't the only guy of mine.

You don't even know the right thing to call me,
when you breathe "Madison" and not "Maddie",
I hate my name,
it's unfitting and plain.

Yet I discovered when your lips form those very sounds that I despise,
if just for a moment, there's nothing I'd rather go by.

To you it's just another night with another girl,
to me it's about more than the way my toes curl.
When you leave, the only thing I have to remember you by,
are your moans echoing in my ears and bruises on my thighs.

You said "this is the best view in the world, I could ******* forever",
like I was the only one who could bring you pleasure,
but I'm aware if it came down to it,
you wouldn't know if my eyes are green or sort of blue-ish.

The sad thing is I'm hanging on to every moment,
I have with you waiting to one day find my spirit broken.

In eighteen years, eight men have seen my body lay beneath their sheets.
But not one of them has ever seen me.
They've struck up drunken conversation in an effort to decide "Your place or mine?"
But not one of them has ventured to explore my mind.

So I got to see the ocean,
You always kept me locked away,
But I got to see the ocean,
He showed me just today.

It’s dangerous and dark,
Just like you said to me,
But so beautiful and strong,
Things you said I’d never be.

So when I got to see the ocean,
Never thought I’d find myself there too,
Now I’ll go to see the ocean,
To wash my body clean of you.