One time I lost my way,
Two times I accepted your apologies
Tree times I threw away too much of myself,
Four times I forgot the name I once carried,
Five times I loved far too well,
Six times I wrote poems for forgiveness,
Seven times I produced false promises,
Eight times I shared nights with empty bodies,
Nine times I gave away everything,
Ten times I let myself remember

This Christmas,
I want to be truly okay
To finally see light in everyday besides the sun and the stars but the shine of my own
To smile genuinely without care
I want to love and be loved no matter how hard I could be
I want my thoughts to vanish along with the sadness
To soar and fly and feel free
To to have a glimpse of what a magnificent life could be
No concrete wish, just happiness

It would be great

everyone is the same person
just different incarnations
so really I am just you
trying to love
yourself

The beauty of missing you
Is that I can hold you in my memory
That perfect moment
Imagining my hand in yours
My head resting on your neck
There are no words disrupting
No outside thoughts impeding
Just the thought of you

when my son was younger
he asked -

how old are the mountains
from where did the First People come
why does the sun sleep in the ocean
what is the color of rain

now that my son is older
stronger, wiser and bolder
he asks -

how old are the mountains...
...what is the color of rain


some things don't change.

I don't care what they think
                                    your words will destroy me
I'm fine
                                    i cant take it anymore
I'm just lazy
                                    ive lost my drive to live
I'll get over it
                                    i cried myself to sleep last night
My family cares about me
                                    not even a touch
I'm an open book
                                    i have the darkest secrets known to man kind
I'll talk to you about it later
                                    *not even a whisper