David

David Oct 2016

This is a poem for no one in particular:
I hope you're doing much better now.
I know how hurt you were.

I could be anywhere,
and I would not expect you to care
because people change;
like the passing of the season.
Feelings fade.
and this is not without reason.

I cannot put into words
what you meant to me.
Why are the things we miss the most,
the things that weren't meant to be?

I am lost.
Without direction.
Although I got my ticket
I missed my connection,
and although I go on,
I cannot look forward:
only at my own reflection.

Looking back at me,
I do not recognise myself.
I don't want to,
I wish I were someone else.
The person you wished I were.
The person you thought you saw.
Somebody with something more.

Did I deserve this?
It's not for me to say.
Did I intend for this?
Did I want this?
Not in any way.

And so I continue
to continue
to trick myself into forgetting,
stop regretting,
and not letting
the thought to exist.

Except in tiny slices of memory,
that still linger and persist.
You were the best thing that ever happened to me
And yet you were the worst.
You were the last person I ever knew,
not only the first.

Yet if I could erase my recollection of you,
I surely would.
I would do it in a heartbeat,
If I only could.
But I can't.

I can't stop thinking what I've lost.
And how I am only to blame.
Like the naked bitten by frost.

#depressed #lost

David Jan 2016

it's becoming a little bit too much

Dry eyes,
cloudy skies.
A kiss on the cheek
and we say our goodbyes.

But I don't want to.

Lonely walk back,
along the cobbles and cracks;
Better not step in them.
Now I'm lost.

Wet shoes.
Train goes choo-choo.
Cows go moo-moo.
I don't have much left.

Think.
I think.
And I can't stop,
but I mustn't drink.

I know what happened last time.

Shut the blinds.
The sun is out.
I am in.
With you, I'm without.

The covers are not your skin.

In a daze,
every day.
Autopilot,
I guess you can say.

Time flies without your voice.

Pathetic boy.
Focus on other things,
help someone.
Make someone smile.
Have their joy.

It doesn't work

#lonely #hurt

David Jan 2016

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She never loved me
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#love #hurt #her #never

David Dec 2015

It's Christmas but there's no snow.

This year there is no snow,
just the typical rain.
But how are you doing, anyhow?
Things here are generally the same.
You know:
Falling in love with your face in strangers,
though I don't know their names?
Getting annoyed at sappy Christmas songs,
and playing pointless games.
As you can tell,
Not much has changed.

I thought about getting you chocolates,
but it's far too cliche.
Besides, maybe you're on a diet,
maybe you'd give them away
but it's the thought that counts, I suppose;
and I couldn't count my thoughts of you,
God only knows.

And if God exists, and he is a he,
and he is just, and he judges me:
I won't make it past those pearly gates,
and you, again, I know i'd never see.
So it's times like these I'm glad to be an atheist,
or at least a serious agnostic.
Or my mind, It would be gone;
assuming I've not already lost it.

Come to think of it:
Now that you're gone,
maybe it doesn't want to snow.
Or maybe it's just global warming;
maybe, I don't know.

#love #sad #life #pain #lost #missing #christmas

David Nov 2015

Hello?

Hello?
Who am I?
Guess again.
Don't you recognise my voice?
No?
Why?
Well, you can hang up,
It's your choice.
But I just wanted to call
for old times sake.
You know:
Those times where we'd talk
at times we shouldn't have been awake.

Are you still there?
Can you hear me?
Oh, right.
You don't remember me.
Maybe I have the wrong number.
Well, I guess I'm sorry.

But before you let me go,
There's just one thing
I want you to know.
At the end of December,
when the mountains meet the snow.
I'll think of you, as always,
and I'll remember.
How it was me,
who once heard
your hellos.

#love #poem #poetry #sad #depression #life #pain #death #thoughts #you

David Sep 2015

Persistence, my friend.

Persistence, my friend;
and determination:
can mend
all the wounds of misfortune;
and the the scars of your past.
Your scars and wounds
stand nothing
to time.
For in time, no pain lasts.

So press on
Press on,
like they said in times
where there was no choice
but to press on.
And you have no choice.
for If you don't,
you will very soon be gone.
That's not to be morbid,
and not to be grim,
but you know that as well as I do,
so it's with persistence
you must glow
and with patience
you must brim.

And not to say that you are weak,
but the pain you feel
is nothing unique.
So persist, my friend.
Do not fall with hard times:
Press on and find
the solace
you so sincerely seek.

Stand up
when you feel like you must fall.
Stand up when you cannot stand.
Stand up, anyway;
and stand up tall.
That, my friend, is greatness.
To rise above your own self-doubt.
To rise beyond limits.
To rise above it all.

Persistence, my friend:
Persistence is key;
for until that fog clears up,
you will not see
your limitless potential
and all the infinite beauty
that lies not beyond the horizon,
but just around the bend.
I promise you will find it:
But only with
Persistence, my friend.

#depression #life #pain #sadness #happy #thoughts #strength #optimism

David Jul 2015

Non-existence

Non-existence is calling.
Sounds good to me.
To be erased.
To no longer be.

And if I try
to burn away
the remnants of the past.
The sweet catharsis I would feel
simply would not last.

A ticking time bomb:
destined to self-destruct.
And the promise of an end,
a sweet release,
has me hooked.

And if you saw me,
you would not be able to tell:
That every conscious thought
causes pain,
and every unconscious breath
causes hell.

And though I'm on the brink,
I think I hide it well.
But it can't last forever.
Nothing lasts forever
and my facade of deception
is certainly no exception.

But by the time it's clear,
it will be far too late.
My mind is filled with fear
of my mindless self-loathing,
and my inevitable
fate.

Non-existence keeps calling.
Sounds awfully good to me.
To finally have some peace.
To finally
be free.

#sad #depression #life #death #thoughts