Blackpool, Lancashire, Un   
Darryl Ashton
Darryl Ashton
2 days ago

My name is Wayne Rooney,
and I'm leaving Manchester
No press are allowed - they
are the uninvited.
Thirteen long years I've
played at Old Trafford,
Sadly I'm now leaving - as
my football form has suffered.

I have also put on weight -
and I do feel rather flabby,
I haven't scored many goals
as such - I also feel so crabby.
I have also took  a dislike, to
Jose Mourinho,
So instead of playing football -
I'll read my son's Beano.

Now as I am super rich -
money isn't an issue,
But I can always turn
emotional - I may just need
a tissue!
I've seen some vast changes
at this football ground,
So now it is time to leave -
and overseas, I'm bound.

My manager is in discussions -
to help me get away,
Somewhere in a new country -
so my football I'll still play.
Now I do love Chinese food -
chow mein and fried rice,
So I think I'll head to China -
it sounds so very nice.

I'm not getting any younger,
so my family do come first,
But playing in all that heat -
I'll need to quench my thirst!
I will be joining a super team -
of that I have NO doubt,
My name is Wayne Rooney -
and my belly's rather stout!

I will be quite emotional - but
I do need to move on.
To secure my future - and
my family - and to catch some
Chinese SUN!
Goodbye to Man United - as
a new chapter now begins,
Now to start playing football -
and to kick those Chinese

I still have a few years left -
I'm not yet too old.
I'm at my peak - and that's
for sure - 'well, this is what
I'm told!'
My name is Wayne Rooney -
and I'm going to China' land,
But I will come back occasionally -
to play for struggling England!!!!  

Goodbye to the UK - I mean
that from my heart,
I'm going to play in China -
with my family - and a brand
new start.
Adios to the gloomy UK - and
'hello' to China-town;
'I'll still appear on Newzoids -
as a footballing' China clown!!!!'  


Darryl Ashton
Darryl Ashton
3 days ago

As years roll by there
could arise,
A problem many know,
That when you start
forgetting things,
Names are the first
to go.

This can be quite
But don't give up all
The following might
be some help,
To show you how
to cope.

Visualise the alphabet,
And scan from A to Z,
The letter T may
bring to mind,
the missing name as

If someone greets
you by your name,
(Is she Ann or Di)?
You could reply with
'Hello, dear'
Or simply just say:

Asking for her family
Sounds like you know
them well,
And should she mention
any name,
This could ring a bell.

It's hard to introduce
two folk,
Whose names are
held in doubt.
The best ploy is a
coughing fit,
Until they sort it out.

Let's hope this might
have been some use,
To ease the mental
Good luck with that
old memory,
But what's your name


Darryl Ashton
Darryl Ashton
4 days ago

Oh, Mr Speaker
What did you do?
You insulted the
new President,
Which wasn't nice
of you.

You've sabotaged
And embarrassed
our dear Queen,
By causing a great
That was underhand
and mean.

You need to be
That you're not the
Head of State,
And your career as
the Speaker,
Has been strictly

I think you've
caused an own
And you're looking
like a prize chump,
Plus your future
visits to the States,
Will be banned by
Donald Trump.


Darryl Ashton
Darryl Ashton
5 days ago

Lord, at times we come to you,
our faith is not as strong.
But in your loving arms we fall;
you show us that we belong.

You carry us when we think
we can't go any longer.
The love you have can only
grow stronger and stronger.

With you living in our daily
lives, you are the living God
we praise.
Thank you for the goodness
and showing us along our

At times we want to lay it all
down to you, and at your feet
we fall.
You show us that there is a
way and help us to give it our

You give us the faith to be
stronger, even though we
may not know.
The things that are not of
you, you help us to let go.

You are my strength, my
deliverer, the rock that
makes me unbroken.
You lead me to be righteous
with things I feel are all

We pray for understanding,
but sometimes we may
We look up to you for
answers that our world
may never crumble.

We know at that time you
will be there to carry us
through it all.
You are there to pick us up,
even as we may fall.

Father, our ever living God,
we ask you for your pardon,
For one day we will be with
you, living in your heavenly

Until then, Lord, thank you
for all the many blessed filled
Keep us so loved and comfortable;
we are at awe with you, just


Darryl Ashton
Darryl Ashton
5 days ago

Racism is in the eye, of
the true beholder,
Everyone complains as
they're holding the
Racism can be funny,
and entertaining, that
is true,
But there is always
the "do-gooder" who
spoils it all for you.

Kunta Kinte he was
black - in the African
He would scream his
views out loud -
"slavery" he'd try to
He was a slave and
he fought for his
human rights,
But he always faced
hostility and real blood-
thirsty fights.

The life in their jungle
was without their hero,
A strong man called:
'Tarzan' - he could yodel
loud, you know!
Even in the water he'd
fight off the crocodiles,
"Where is Kunta Kinty -
he's now cleared of his

Yes, folks, racism is so
rife - it gets deep into
your Roots.
But Kunta Kinte did fight
it - he even ate the
jungle fruits!
If we mention Roots -
and Africa in the bush,
Racism is always
remembered - but with
a shield, they'd crush!

So everyone gather round,
there's a nice burning
jungle camp fire,
To help Kunta Kinte -
furnish his desire!
The world will always
do battle with racism,
that I know for sure,
But it is plagued by
"do-gooders" - who
always bleat for a cure!

Let the war begin -
and, Roots, please,
take your place,
And let's see if we
can eradicate racism -
from the human race!
The jungle is now
rocking - Kunta Kinte
and his tribe,
I'm sure deep in his
heart - he'll take a
modest bribe!

Tarzan has now left
the jungle - he was
just too "snowy" white.
When he bared his
white flesh in the
jungle - it really
caused a fright!!!!
So, Kunta Kinte carries
on - fighting for his
And all those "egoistic
do-gooders" - all have
mouths like the mighty


Darryl Ashton
Darryl Ashton
6 days ago

Welcome to China, we
sure do love football,
Especially the English
Premier League - I
think I'll give them a
We are luring all the
best players - and mainly
from England,
We will pay outrageous
amounts of money -
the wages are very grand.

We did have David Beckham,
but he was very vain -
He is married to a Spice
Girl - and he also went
Then we got a player
from Chelsea Football Club,
His name is Frank Lampard -
at the moment he's a sub!

We also hired Steven Gerrard,
he came from Liverpool,
We couldn't understand
his accent - he thought he
was cool!
Now he is leaving - and
going back to Liverpool,
To do some football
coaching - but will he feel
like a fool?!

We are on a mission - to
make China a world-class
We have lots of lovely
money - to spend on
players matrimony!
We used to be very poor,
but English soccer is our
And when we "splash-the
cash" - we'll buy a famous

We are luring all the soccer
talent - that really is our
And the talent on show in
the English Premier League,
they really know their game.
But we're also looking at
lower leagues - they really
have impressed,
Especially Fleetwood Town -
they're really on a quest!

Before long we will rule
and we could also win
the World Cup!
We only buy the BEST
players - and they have
to sign a prenup!
Welcome to China - we
love the English players -
But they speak a funny
language - it makes us
laugh with tears!

We also love the FA Cup -
it really is fantastic,
It is always so unpredictable,
it makes the players all
It is shown on the BBC -
in the UK, on TV,
But if we can pay "mega-
money" - we could buy
the rights, you see!

Well, thank you for your
company - I'm now going
to China.
To hopefully play some
football - and to banish my
Welcome to China - the
land of the soccer empire,
And if you are an English
'world-class' football star,
you can have what you
so desire!


(I've written this soccer poem for the football website of O-Posts. I've written the poem in a very imaginary way. Hope you all enjoy it. Thank You.)

The Heavenly embrace of
your scented body,
Is like an embrace of that
bed of folly.
To lay with you and kiss
your lips,
When you do quiver as we
both shake our hips!

The light is dimmed as
the mood is relaxed,
But why am I shy? I
feel perplexed?
The nature surrounds
your bodily beauty,
As I kiss your lips - it
becomes my serious

My, love, my wife, I
honour thee now,
Our sacred passion is
strong somehow.
The fruit of your body
tastes heavenly to
We quench our lust
after we're free.

The soul of passion -
is a learning of life,
Like the shy man who
cant find a wife.
The carefree life we
both have departed,
Passion and liberation -
our new life has just

I love you my darling,
you are my life,
We are together - and
no more strife.
Our body's are now
together -
The essence of taboo
just gets better and

We thrive on our love -
we kid each other, not,
The romantic spirit is
tied in a knot.
The swinging pendulum,
is like our tired bodies,
Covered in sweat, as the
pleasure multiplies.

Fear, not, my dear, our
love is pure,
We make our love as
it is our cure.
The element we live for
is that of lust,
Especially when I embrace
your 'sweet-tasting' bust.

Oh, come to my arms, I
seek thy true love,
My blood is boiling - it
hasn't had enough!
The pleasures of our
bodies - we both need
to treasure,
Making love is our
mission - our duty


Note: 'The following has reference to (SEX) - I wrote the poem after watching a programme on UK TV about a poet; 'Lord Byron' - something told me and urged me inside to write a bawdy poem. I just know Lord Byron would love it and he'd be very proud if he could read it.' Hope you all like the poem. Thank You.
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