I got a call before the news even knew.
Frozen cold sweat and fear.
I stood at my desk able to do nothing.
I watched in horror at the live feed on my computer screen as I knew what she was going through.
She was there, and I wasn't. I couldn't.
I watched helpless in horror as the people scattered from the glass that was shattered.
I could do nothing but pray.
To watch people die is not a vicarious way I would want to ever live.
She tried her best to finish, but the race ended, even though she gave all she could give.
I need to watch this to get out of self.
Why must they die so we can see why?
You feel the same as I do.
Ever wonder whats behind you...?
That scratch, that itch, that feeling that tells you there is more?
That there is something we're missing?
The emotion that makes us push towards something we know we should be doing?
We never know what it is, but it is always there, in every human being.
Is it the "I need more."?
Is it soul?
I could never tell, and I will never know.
Just move for it, wish for it, strive for it, try for it, drive toward it.
This body, Which contains my soul.
Holds my desires, and that ever thirsting fire to feel beyond what my mind can experience. I can sometimes feel what my senses tells me exists beyond myself.
I must push forward and move through the fold. This beauty beyond myself shows no bounds.
To punish myself is a sacrifice that which must be paid if I am to see the extent of possibility.
No matter what, I must pierce this whole existence, this experience.
I choose to live, I choose to die, I choose to feel and to tell the truth and to lie.
To spin beyond the chance to be here, breathe, live and be alive.
I excite my existence and fight, what I see, and what appeals.
For they are not the same, and I know nobody else is the same.
Give the scream of your life and show you care more than you ever feel.
Simply sexual, arresting petals
I'm drawn and intruiged by the asymmetrical
Expressions that gave me this breathless impression.
How do I retrieve a demon so beautiful that the angels in heaven
Forgive and forget
The day I cursed such a corolla
.......................I want you...........................
..................I want to free you....................
pollinate your mind, so in time, you will forget the crime we confide
To never remember such a slow chlorophyllian life... with such little strife...
To choose to listen to the voices in my head or the whisper in my heart.
Blinded by my own hand most of the time.
The roller coaster turned into a merry-go-round.
I knew where I had ended up, but I didn't see the start.
My thoughts are off and running again...
Round and round,
I feel this creeping monster run down my spine and gnaw at my center.
I am terrified of it.
I let it go on forever.
...I finally looked inside and asked,
"What the hell do you want from me?"
"I just want you to know that it's me, which is you.
Just trying to tell you that you need love, that's the truth."
Christ, I need to stop crucifying myself to feel alive.
Dreaming to write the perfect love poem,
Sitting here trying to think of the perfect love poem for a woman ive never met,
Trying to write that perfect love poem,
Praying to god to help me write the perfect love peom for the woman ive never met,
Trying to write the perfect love poem from my heart & soul,
So i try to look for that perfect love poem for the woman ive never met,
Here i sit looking on the web to look for that perfect love poem,
Browsing this page that page for that perfect love poem for the woman ive never met,
Looking at this poem that poem for that perfect love poem,
Still looking for that perfect love poem for the woman ive never met,
Desperatley trying to find that perfect love poem,
Starting to relize their is no perfect love poem for the woman ive never met,
Relizeing their is no perfect love poem to descibe the pure love,
Here i sit starting to relize the perfect love poem is in my mind,body & soul,
The perfect love poem will remain in my heart & soul.
Today I woke up and wanted to sleep forever.
I looked out of my window and realized that this bright day was not made for me.
I woke up hungry for something that I knew I could never and would never have, yet I still held onto the sharp of edge of His lie.
I can't explain my affliction, my illness, my disease. All I can simply tell you is that it is consuming me like a beast.
The night grows dark and I leave for His bed.
This is okay, I try to convince myself. This is okay.
It's not okay.
I'm not okay.
The band plays
Arms in the air while feet stomp the ground
Girls cross the dance floor like a caravan
The music still plays since I said goodbye long ago
It's the same party, different people.
Thick cigarette smoke stands still on the patio.
A glass of white wine swirled in hand with delight
The joy, the laughter, the old friends say hello
One by one with stamps or wristbands on tight
They all come eventually but some will never go
I remember this circus from long ago
With its memories and moments I so dearly hold
If you ever find the door and need a ride home
Just wait until tomorrow's sun gives enough light to see the road
Don't worry about missing the show
The band still plays