Love

If we were ever in a game show.
You
would be forced to put your hands on my waist.

And I
would be forced to put my arms
around the nape of your neck.

We would
dance with tension as eventual rhythm enters
where there was once a dense air.  

Dips,
twirls,
and smiles,
crack our equally hard demeanor.

Laughs
leave our bodies, and

the audience
suddenly non-existent.

End the grace with our bodies close.

Panting,
smiling,
and sweaty.

Sealing our youth
with an expired kiss.

Rejuvenating it
at the touch of our lips.

Parting only to notice the time.
The show,
Over.

Our kiss,
natural,
unforced,
and
entirely
ours.

i never really knew nonchalance
until approximately twenty minutes into ever
having had the pleasure
of your existence
alongside mine.

"i'll have to teach you how to surf"
you mentioned casually, sounding perfectly genuine-
which alone was enough to startle me
knowing you were leaving the country
before the water would ever be warm enough

the far rockaways?
my mind's eye gave a grimace and half a laugh at the thought-
but my affections were melting through your fingers.

you stopped us abruptly on the sidewalk,
halted all conversation
and crept up
(as if you had a hundred times)
on to some random brooklyn woman's stoop
and ripped a few leaves off of one of her plants.

i stood idle, feeling warmer suddenly,
trying to disguise any semi-shocked expression i may  or may not have emoted..
and watched as you returned
with the most unmistakable grin
and two sleepy little leaves in your palm.

without hesitation you began chewing on one,
while handing me mine
and i listened as you detailed the experience with an ecstatic moan of pleasure.

"mint?"

i knew it was a mint leaf,
obviously, somehow
but still asked anyway

i don't remember if you confirmed,
feeling so bewildered by the strange glowing glory of you
but i ate it obediently,
as if it were naturally in my personality
to never question eating an unfamiliar plant
from the unfamiliar hand of a man
whom i was most unfamiliarly falling in love with.

God loves a hill and he made them round
God loves them auburn and he made them brown
he made them firm and he made them soft
and how they walk where they move only God can talk
I stop what I'm doing and I pretend not to watch
they come as dappled light
upon my forest floor
filtered through the trees
and I’d swear in their presence
I become a cathedral
I can sense their divinity
they take my breath and here's when:
when all the air is sucked out from the room
I'm in
it's how puzzle pieces fit
and they just belong
it's about how nature loves a crooked line
who doesn't love a crooked song
it’s about presentation Lord--
take Botticelli when Venus
emerged from the sea a full grown woman:
paint her some clothes on
Lord have mercy
it’s about sleepless nights
and it’s about the contrasts
who can resist fragility and blue steel
that mix of loose with tight
the stillness and the storm
the soft on the edge of firm
the dark weaves in light
the contrast of a thousand turns
you killing me Lord
you killing me.

Perfection.
I miss.
Whose name I trace on my lips with my finger tips.
Such sweet bliss.
Thats you.
My morning and my lovely moon.
But your absence is agony
And I fight to breathe,
But air that lacks your scent is not fresh.
Nights without your voice are just as good as deaf.
Wake me from this coma.
Save me from your silence.
Forgive what it seems like and see whats hidden in plain sight.
My love.
For you.
Is more infinite than the universe.
Hold my hand until we find its end.
Together.

if you can promise me privacy,
then i can lend you all of me.
i could be the miscalculated rain,
intended for the sea-
but destined to be
splattered on a window,
exploded like the galaxy.

did i paint the pretty picture
in a way that you can only see?

pull me in, pull me close-
and strip me of my sensory.
if this is it, let's make the most-
and shred up old philosophies.

while i still have cancer-less breasts,
let's look past the human fallacy.
while my heart throbs with unrest,
come divide me with your symmetry.

while i still produce a shadow,
while blood still floods the wound,
while we still have tomorrow,
paint the words to me in truth

am i bound to live my life with a craned neck?
stiff from that which i no longer possess?
scared of the sunrise, starving for the sunset?
i'll never know the presence of now
unless you teach me to forget.

What do I do with this pain?
Should I rip it from within me and
stick it in a blender?
Toss it aside and let it grow while
it destroys itself?
Take my longing and misplace it!
Someone will find it and make a better
host anyway.
I am not good company,  not even to loneliness.
Perhaps it will feel neglected and leave on
its own accord.
But when it does I’ll chase it down
and beg it to give me one more chance.
Because nothing makes me feel
more alive...
more human.

With you I lose my train of thought,
my speech,
and my breath.

You make me search for unfamiliar words because
I don’t want you to ever think I’m redundant.

But no amount of words I find will ever keep up
with what I feel for you because it’s been so long
and my feelings are ever-growing.

Your name is moanable.
I can only imagine losing myself laying with you.
I want you to make me grip the sheets.

Take me to  a place where tasting you becomes my only objective.

You will be my ultimate destruction.

Nothing can dismantle me more than
the wicked bitter sentiment of longing,
the decomposition of my being that counts
the second for the day you fix me,

the sweat on my brow in the morning from
dreams of you,
the smokey echoing memories of the past,

the loud promises we made that are still ringing,
the sweet vowels that rolled off your tongue like honey,

the pronunciation of my name:
a warm bath you could blanket yourself completely in
as you simply go under.

Drown in it if you could -
the sweetest of suicides.

Make me forget the existence of time
so that I can lay with you forever.

I hope to one day recognize your scent
only to crave knowing more of you.
I want to know all of you,
your mind is fascinating,
your opinions are flooring,
your voice makes sense,

your soft hands are tempting and
your body is that of a God.
I can only hope to explore you further.

To enjoy watching the shift in your eyes
when I take you in.
All I ask is that you grip my hips while I do so.
I promise to kiss you greedily.