it is ALL a game of LIFE
The bush that I beat around
is round and profound and its not attached to the ground but,
it seems to pound aloud the sound of..
the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees
and the water that we all drown in.
If I could climb the tallest mound
in the smallest town
and sing aloud
as if I scaled the Everest Mountain.
And if he talks down on my leaps and bounds
would you be proud to stand around him?
I astound the clowns who wear the crowns and silly gowns
behind a shroud of sirens.
That claim the grounds of their compound
and are aroused by accounts of violence.
And as the body count arises...
The people around, in silence
while the clowns burn down the city now
Oh, how we've all turned out so mindless.
I've recently been contacted about having my collection of poems published. since you all are such great fans and supporters, I invite you to go 'like' my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/courtneyksnodgrass
you'll get additional sneak peeks like excerpts and quotes from the novel that I just finished writing as well!
it would really mean a lot if you guys could go like my page and then invite your friends too. (if you feel I deserve it)
all is appreciated, thank you so much.
Obscure, dark mist surrounding me
I breathe in deeply and close my eyes
The memories come back in a flood,
Taking me to the time and place I died
Resting atop a cloud deep in my mind
I stare at the clock in the other world
Living in my own realm, I feel so high
Until the sinking blade drags me back down
"One more day," I mutter to myself,
"When the clock strikes ten, I'm through."
I slid through the day, the epitome of stealth
And the weight in my heart only grew
Nine thirty-five, the hour draws near
And I escape to my own sweet sanctuary
The ice cold sobs mix with burning tears
And I only have myself to blame.
Quarter to ten, my hands start to tremble
As I hastily scribble my name, and
Even if the creatures of Heaven & Hell assemble
I won't change my mind again
Nine fifty-five, it's now or never
Now I'll take my stand and lay down
I close my eyes, embark on this endeavor,
The one that shall forfeit my crown
The thoughts that swam into my mind
Became nothing, they'll soon be behind
My greatest love kissed in a note,
Murder was the last word I wrote
I've lost control.
Lonely and sad.
I don't sleep much now.
Lie awake remembering.
I don't know how to trust.
I'm afraid to be close to anyone now.
I hate myself.
I wish to be someone else.
If only I was prettier.
I don't believe in love.
Not even from parents.
You broke me.
It's a desert without you
I let you go
And now it's empty.
We stood for something
That size doesn't matter
Only what's in our hearts
And there was so much love.
My daddy taught me
If you believe in everything
You fall for anything,
You were my eveerything
Now I'm falling for anyhing.
You meant so much to me
Those words you use to say
All those things you came up with
The smle only you could make.
The last time we talked
Was when I told you I still liked you
It has always been you.
My heart is completely broken
No one can ever fix it
It's damage inside and out.
I'm like a broken toy
I'll never work right again
Just like a scratched Cd
You'll always hear the skips.
It won't feel right,
Ths is were I use to jump around
After you kissed me
Or I'd take 3 hours trying to look perfect for you.
Those three words
Never feel the same
Coming out of someone else's mouth.
I didn't think it would be this hard to let go
Till i really had to.
I know you won't remember the first days you were here,
My jealousy was an angry tantrum full of screams and tears.
Before you ever came along I was their one and only.
But if I were to lose you now I would be forever lonely.
Over the years I grew to love you with all of my heart
And then one day he joined us and our trio had its start.
I wished to forever protect you two from every grief and pain
My healthy, happy, baby brothers I wish you could remain.
Jacob, eighteen years have passed since you came home with mother.
Your adventures and comedy have made you our constant entertainer.
Now you have turned into a strong man who is valiant and true;
The Marines have made you honorable and for that I'm proud of you.
And Matthew, it has been seventeen years since you graced our home.
You are more loyal and more caring than any man I have ever known.
A harder working, more determined man would be difficult to find.
Your heart of gold and lively personality make you one of a kind.
I was not always the compassionate sister you both deserved,
But someone with more love for you will never be observed.
I promise to always be there for you no matter what you encounter.
Because I have learned over the years that blood is thicker than water.
My stitches ripped today
I was just casually walking
Around the corner
To get something to eat
When, in a single step,
They came undone
After a year of healing:
It gushed, naturally.
I recalled an old pain today
I was just casually talking
About my evening
To a dear friend
When, in a single question,
"How is she?"
I came undone
After a year of healing:
I gushed, naturally.
Though you are small, and may seem like the smallest grain of sand on the beach,
There are many things to know before being washed into the ocean of life.
Listen to the shells, for they’ve been on the beach far longer than you have.
Make a wish at 11:11. (Don’t worry if you forget in the morning, it’ll come again that night.)
Cross your fingers for extra luck,
Accept a date to stargaze in the middle of an open field in the bed of a pick-up truck,
And while you’re gazing at the stars, don’t forget to make a wish on the one that’s shooting across the sky
And while you’re lost within that pair of blue eyes, get lost within a field of dandelions.
Pluck one that you can make a wish and blow into the wind.
And don’t worry if Prince Charming hasn’t swept you off your feet,
Create your own imaginary prince; he won’t break your heart,
And keep a couple imaginary friends along too; they won’t stab you in the back.
It’s okay to dance and sing in the car, you won’t ever see those people who’re next to you again,
(Unless the next light turns yellow, in which case, the gas pedal needs love and affection too.)
You’ll get nerves, but don’t ever bite your nails or crack your knuckles, back, neck, or anything.
Arthritis isn’t something that goes well with the wrinkles that’ll come too.
Grow wisdom, but don’t forget, you’ll always be a child at heart.
Make sure the length of the dress that you buy for the date would be approved by your grandmother.
Don’t forget to always add sprinkles with your ice cream while on that date,
And why should dessert be saved for last? Eat it first; otherwise you’ll be too full.
And as you’re driving home that night, don’t forget to turn your headlights on,
And remember to wear your seatbelt, no matter how short the distance.
Remember that it’s okay to break curfew every now and then; you may not ever get those moments back.
Keep in mind, if your date is on a Friday, don’t be out too late, or you’ll miss Saturday morning cartoons,
Which also means, don’t ever eat the marshmallows from Lucky Charms until the very end.
And say Prince Charming still hasn’t rode in on his white stallion,
The refrigerator is not who to call to cure your boredom (Unnecessary calories are not your friends.)
Instead, call your mother, because you’re never too old to cry to your mom.
When you see those storm clouds approaching, don’t hide inside,
Put on your rain boots and dance in the puddles.
Don’t be afraid of the waves that are washing up on the shore.
Why is everything different from before?
I guessed i liked it better when our love ment more
It was like whatever i tried to do
Just was never good enough for you,
I don't know why we had to lose
All the things we had to choose
Cause it hurts down deep inside
That i had to leave this love beind,
Let it lay there and die
Only because it was in a tie
But no you wouldn't fix it
No you watched it as it was lit
I begged you not to let it burn
But you threw it and i watched it turn
It went from lust
All the way to dust,
I watched you walk away and leave me
My eyes were puddles i couldn't see
Ive never seen love walk away
Except for that day
I'll never forget the day i loved you
Just something i have to do
It was worth it when it all ment more
Way passed before.
- I read somewhere,
that as adults,
we try growing into
the traits that would've
rescued our parents.
And when my father moved out
I started moving.
The day my his signature
danced across a set
of divorce papers,
my body became boat.
These ankles retracted anchor.
I have been sailor ever since.
2. Mental illness runs
in my mother's family
so leaving was more like
a race for sanity.
There are days when
I wonder if schizophrenia
is what happened
when Liz stopped writing.
When a poet stops being a poet
I guess all of that empty
silence leaves room for
the walls to start speaking.
There are days when I wander
just to see if my feet
are as fast as they
used to be.
I used to leave what I love.
3. I love a lot
so I jog often.
Not for hobby,
but for healing.
4. Survival is a scary thing,
especially when it means
running from what's
already been sewn into
your family genes.
5. If your body ever
remember home is
where the heart is
so it is no worthless carcass.
Call it Cathedral.
You. Holy congregation
of bones filled to the brim
with sin but blessed
Your skin is nothing short
of sacred. Sanctuary.
Your muscles only grow
from being torn and rebuilt
so it makes sense
for your walls
to crumble sometimes.
Destruction is a form
And of course,
you will want to dance
amongst that rubble.
Movement is a sign of life.
Let them see
you're still alive.
6. This life is magic
and you come from
a long line of magicians.
We people of Black suits
and bow ties threaded
from braided chains.
We, wands for wrists,
perfect for reaching
for potions and people
We, top hats for teeth,
perfect for abracadabra speaking
things into existence.
We, preachers and poets.
We who spit spells
disguised as poems.
Poems that work like
prayers born between pews.
We, walking sanctuaries
with pews for knees.
We who birth life. Love,
you are nothing short
7. The day the spine
of my father's signature
tangoed along the rubble
of a broken marriage,
my mother's hips
kissed a beat like
was just invented.
And my God,
is it lovely.
How she wears her lonely
in the sway of her shoulders.
See you come from
a long line of magicians
who don't need to be rescued.
You are not our final flare.
You are not our savior.
Love, you are my plagiarized draft
of a poem called God.