I thought for sure;
I had it planned out.
I was going away,
I was fading out.
The light was gone,
from my eyes,
from my soul.
Hope had carried on,
to someone who was willing to hold it close.
"I got a Job!"
I thought that was great.
Wasn't it good enough for you?
"You work where? What a shame.
But I guess it suits you."
So what if it's the Dump?
Its a job someone's gotta do.
besides,
someone has to clean up after snobs like you.
So I do.
But I admit,
you had me going.
You got me down this time.
Which is funny because I thought,
family was supposed to help you through the grime.
But no,
you put me here.
because time and time again,
you kept telling me I was worthless,
and that I'd never fit in.
But you lied.
My friends there are like a family,
they all stand up for me.
They treat me how I should be:
like a fucking human being.
You almost made me kill myself.
That should make you fucking sick.
But I think that the anger
gives me an extra kick.
It makes me realize,
that not everyone is like you.
There's still some decent people,
and before I wouldn't have thought it true.
But there, I met two people,
who've truly shown me the way,
that the way to live my life,
is to fuck what people say.
I'm happy being me,
and I'm happy I met you,
because now I'll live forever,
just so I can fucking smite you.
And I'll be happy.
This morning I read your name for the very first time.
The sad thing is, any other day, I would have just seen a name.
But today I saw a cinderblock on the vital organs of those left in your wake.
Laying heavy in the mouths of those trying to remember the
importance of breathing, of moving on.
Today we are forced to remember that no one is ever just a name.
You were a heartbeat. A soul.
A vibration of the universe that felt anger and pain and love.
Someone should have told you that, the night you tried to find wings.
I tell you that I just want
to be wanted.
Needed the way a lock
needs the safe feel of
it's key's cool skin,
the gentle memory of it's
perfect cuts and curves.
If only we could open up
our lovers the way
we open our front door.
Maybe it was how you wore pain.
The way your tears, lazy little rivers on
your perfect face, would wash down in
chaotic lines. Prisoners of emotion
trying desperately to escape being absorbed
back into the flesh prison of your skin.
Skin that used to soothe my fears as
my fingertips put on a ballet across its surface.
Smelling of cool autumn promises, blue sky "I love you"s,
and thoroughly damp memories. Slightly marred
with emotional pock marks and raised
scar tissue that mapped out your life
in a secret language known only to you and the blade.
I'm pretty sure
you'll forever feel like home to me.
As broken as that home may be.
I just want to share my old works. If you like to read one, please just copy the link and paste it on the new tab. Thank you so much. :)
1.) "True Love " http://hellopoetry.com/poem/true-love-haiku/
2.) "The Wake Up Call" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/the-wake-up-call-haiku/
3.) "Memories" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/memories-haiku/
4.) "A Lover's Promise" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/a-lovers-promise-haiku/
5.) "Give Me Some Scents" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/give-me-some-scents-haiku/
6.) "Subject: I Love You" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/subject-i-love-you-haiku/
7.) "I Asked Poetry Again" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/i-asked-poetry-again-haiku/
~Will you please tell me which is the best?~
I don't want to write.
At least not about you,
not anymore.
I'd rather write about how
grass makes my ankles itch,
but I'd never choose concrete
over nature.
How my lipstick never lasts
long around my fiance, or that
no matter what, I'll always give
into fresh-baked cookies.
I want to write about how
the summer sky kisses the
ground to life, and how the
winter clouds give highways
the cold shoulder.
I want to write about rape
and murder, how they scare
us all into things like slut-shaming.
Or how the holocaust has
condemned the use of human
hands for bigotry.
But I don't want to
write about you.
Not anymore.
She was, I guess, contagious.
An epidemic to people's hearts.
It seemed her face was everywhere,
just as scattered as her thoughts.
She was addicted to the thrill of it.
Watching people fall.
She would fill her syringe with their longing
and send the needle between her toes.
It was clear she was a junkie
and she knew her veins would surely burst.
How much can you take from someone else,
before you realize you lost your self worth?
I've always dreamed
of standing atop tall buildings.
I guess the romance with height
stems from my small stature.
There is nothing more seductive
than peering over, toes on
the edge, and knowing the
one and only outcome of a
misstep.
You can run the risk
of saying the wrong thing
to the right person, but
when leaping from a skyscraper,
one will always find
you fall.
the second you tried to break into my frozen heart -
was that when you knew?
that loving me would be
the most difficult thing, the bravest endeavor.
the second you shut me out with your frozen heart,
neither of us knew
that that was the moment mine would thaw
and break
and all the fire i'd been holding back from you would manifest
as the bitterest anger
and the most acute pain.
and i wish, my darling, that i had been able to let it out to you in love,
that my frozen heart had thawed for you while it still belonged to you
and that we had been less stupid, less young, and less cold.
it's a lesson in love,
a stinging and bittersweet thing.
we lost our tenuous hold on what we had.
we did not treasure, cherish, or try,
and our similar and fickle hearts won out on us.
i won't regret loving you,
because people like us, we take what we can get.
frozen hearts are grateful
for whatever broken glimpses of love they can cheat from each other.
I just want to share my old works. If you like to read one, please just copy the link and paste it on the new tab. Thank you so much. :)
1.) "She Is My Poetry" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/she-is-my-poetry/
2.) "Only Lonely People Write Poetry" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/only-lonely-people-write-poetry/
3.) "When I'm Making Love With My Poem" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/when-im-making-love-with-my-poem/
4.) "I Am No Poet, Only Poetic" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/i-am-no-poet-only-poetic/
5.) "I DON'T LIKE YOU!" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/i-dont-like-you-4/
6.) "MIRЯORED" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/mirored/
7.) "Spare Me Some of Your Love" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/spare-me-some-of-your-love/
8.) "Patience" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/patience-40/
9.) "My Knees Convey All Of My Solemn Apologies" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/my-knees-convey-all-of-my-solemn-apologies-1/
10.) "i[F] yo[U] [C]an't find a [K]ey for [HATRED]." http://hellopoetry.com/poem/if-you-cant-find-a-key-for-hatred-1/
11.) "Hello Poetry" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/hello-poetry-6/
12.) "FANTASY" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/fantasy-11/
13.) "A Night For Which My Heart Still Remembers" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/a-night-for-which-my-heart-still-remembers/
14.) "Everytime We Kiss" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/everytime-we-kiss/
15.) "a raven" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/a-raven/
~Will you please tell me which is the best?~
to you:
if you find yourself reading this letter,
i hope that i flash through your memories,
and you remember my pale skin,
soft like butterfly wings;
fragile like glass,
and you remember
the simple curves of my body,
lying beside your side,
on the opposite edge of the bed.
i wonder if a memory floats through,
and you remember the way my
eyelids fluttered in the warm sun rays,
covered by cold sheets,
protected by warm hands and
strong arms.
should you remember the way
the newfound promise ring,
fits upon my skinny finger,
and i hope the wrinkles
that surround the silver,
bring you back to this day,
when we were young.
