Coffee and Tea, I'll take them both,
Light me up another smoke,
Have a piece of Shoo-Fly pie,
Hear the birdies in the sky,
Take my pen in trembling hand,
Compose some poetry, if I can.

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
and
...Z.

Now I know my A-B-C's,
...could you kindly
*******!

Love,
d

There once was a poet called D,
stopped in with some strange poetry,
he began to write,
caused a pub-room fight,
then fled the scene with mad glee!

Cried a knitter (found **** on the beach),
"Look away, guys, I beg and beseech!
I'm a **** young *****
Who's not wearing a stitch,
And my knitting just ain't gonna reach!"

A Yank with a terrible voice
Singing ditties of dubious choice,
Gave a concert at woik
In the heart of New Yoik,
And ended up making it woice.

Heaven is plain my choc biscuit
deceived me again with its *******
but it’s never enough
this addiction is tough
come away with me now and we’ll risk it

When I'm coffee deprived; it's bad, I know it,
My ****** comes out, I'm bound to show it,
Was trying to favorite that poem for so long;
Hit the wrong button, something went wrong-
Then I added myself as a favorite poet.

Science is full of many odd tales;
Like the woman, cast on me her spell:
She whipped off her pants,
And we did quite a dance-
For she had an opposable tail.

There was this poor woman on telly
who carried nine babes in her belly
when asked is it right
to endure such a plight
yes, my sponsor is K&Y; jelly

A mechanic on a days trip from Brazil
Ran down a parrot on the crest of a hill
The beak was asunder, horribly rent
The mechanic swore complete recompense
Fine, said the parrot, I'll send you my bill...

The dog at the Saloon door, they saw
Who said in shaking voice, so raw
"I'm looking for the man
Down on the Rio Grande-
I'm looking for the man, that shot my paw."

I rarely considered my friend
on whose grace I could always depend
but then came the cleft
that left me bereft
how I wish we could both make amends

A limerick writer from Kent
Found his pencil all crooked and bent.
Though ******, licked and chewed,
It still remained skewed,
(Even stretched to its fullest extent).