Tonight I am 26
At a concert
Standing so close to the girl in front of me
I can smell her perfume
And coconut shampoo-
I am swaying with the crowd
And the person next to me
Has an expression of pure joy across her face
Vibrant lights race across the room
Revealing hundreds of people
Who are feeling what I am feeling.
We throw our hands in the air
And allow ourselves to escape reality
For just one night.

Tonight-
I am alive.
We are alive.

She used the fall and winter
To **** off
Any unnecessary leaves
So that when spring came,
She could bloom again.

Depression is like
Being on a sinking ship.
You see another boat
Out on the horizon,
But you are not sure
It will make it in time
To save you.

Sometimes-
I feel too much.

Sometimes-
I feel nothing at all.

Maybe one day
I won't
Go back for more.

If I'm not numb-
Do I go back for more?

Have you ever danced
By yourself
Under a moonlit sky?
Completely out of your mind-
But the wind and birds and bugs
Create a background song
To life.
The grass under your feet
Makes you feel
Complete with nature.
And you dance-
You dance for the trees-
The stars-
Nature-
And for yourself.

It truly is an experience.

I keep the deadbolt unlocked
Just in case you come home.

You don't.

To be a poet is more than-
Fancy words,
Alliteration,
Onomatopoeia,
Stanzas and rhythms,
Or even an excellent metaphor.

I believe a true poet-
Is honest.

I allow myself to be a sinking stone-
Settling in the bottom of the sea,
Encompassed in darkness.

I wait for a tide
To bring me to shore-
But it never comes.

The days get longer,
It seems,
With less and less excitement
Life becomes boring.

And the late nights cease,
To wake up for the early sun,
For another long day.
It never really seems to end.

Here I am-
Trapped in a cycle
Of my own unhappiness.
Where I torture myself.

Tell me-
What happens when you cage a wild animal?
Does it forget what it is meant to be?

Does it forget to hunt,
And gather food,
And search for its prey?

Does it forget that it is no longer free,
That it can no longer reach-
Past the glass enclosure?

Does it forget its instincts,
Its defense mechanisms,
How it protects itself?

Does it forget the family it once had,
Its home,
Where safety came easily?

Tell me-
What happens when you cage a living being?
It forgets what it is meant to be.

I needed to write this poem-
It's what I do when I'm lost,
Trapped by my own mind.
I blame others for my prison,
But it is I who locked the door.

I needed to write this poem-
What happened to who I was?
The freedom, the youth.
I am still very young
But they tell me I should grow up.

I needed to write this poem-
Because I saw how happy I was,
Dancing with my toes in the sand.
I've replaced it with a nice, quiet life.
If only my past and present could collide.

I needed to write this poem-
To remind myself not to put blame.
I am happy.
And there are many forms of happiness.
If only I could taste them all.

I needed to write this poem-
Even if no one knows what it's about.
Because that isn't what matters.
I needed to purge my bad thoughts-
Before they get locked away again.