Deep within all of us lies an impeccable source of strength...a strength of which we are unaware and sometimes it takes an adverse and hopeless circumstance to draw it out....and once we discover it...we will realize that no goal is too big and no path is impossible...if we have the stomach for a fight and the will to learn and improve then virtually nothing is unachievable....Roger Federer winning his 18th slam at the age of 35 and Rafael Nadal winning his tenth French Open at age 31 is an inspiration to me...the fact that these legends did not give up and were ready to keep working and fight it out..has taught me one valuable lesson...even when you're going through a prolonged phase of failures never ever feel demotivated...keep your hopes up and believe in yourself...you will taste success again.

I gave my innocence to a boy who told me he loved me after only two dates.
The boy I loved at 13 still sends chills down my spine and although I'll always love him, I'm no longer in love with him.
I spent a year in love with a boy who used to call me every night and then I was left haunted by his echo and the dead silence of the phone.
I dated a boy who took me up a mountain to feel alive but secretly wished he could swallow a bottle of pills.
As you can see I was quite used to the idea of handsome strangers loving the idea of my poetically charming words and sincere sense of loving.  I was used to being compared to paintings and angels. I was used to being courted and cuddled, and also used to being told I was shallow and shrill.
I was used to not being good enough or way too demanding.
Although I know now I am nothing but the most beautiful parts of a poem.
The pauses at the ends of sweet words, and the carefully crafted  run on's you dare not speak. I am the beautiful beginning and the tragic story never told. I am the girl with the Mona Lisa smile and the heart of doves.
I've been told a mosaic of beauty is something only a statue can possess. I've read that love is not to be whispered and pain is not beautiful.
I've spent countless years trying to discover the constellations for the right kind of love affair.
I've whispered secrets to strangers I don't want repeated. I've loved boys with brass hearts and devilish desires. I've walked through my own museum of love and made notes along the way. I've shared stories of every beautifully brilliant boy I have ever crossed paths with, I just hope that someday they learn to appreciate what it's like to walk through a museum of harsh truths, pitiful pain, and I hope they look back and remember me for all the good things I was, and the way they're eyes used to light up when they'd look at me, god I miss that look. I hope they remember the storms and the sunshine, and the new beginnings of my fall, I hope they remember the Christmas lights when the planets are aligned at exactly midnight and wished they had loved me more

(v.m)

Here I am again
trying to keep from sinking
but I am the dead weight
recollection of heavy bones

I try to pull it
out of me the black rays
feeding inside me
caged and reeling
a wounded raven

I dream of somewhere
beyond my reach
then I let the core flutter

Threw his heart like fast ball
bad call sitting very high on his last straws...
Nothing really changed ;
continued broken cycle
His fortitude deranged

Why bring pain on yourself like that
better to have loved than have just sat back
Cookie crumble crumbs didn't feel very filling
arms outstretched to embrace empty feelings...

Usually he saw very far in the path
lately lacking nourishment his eyesight has passed
Crutch grown weary as the burden grows more
flower full bloom turned to an eye sore..

It was so late at night, I don't even remember if it was within the time span to be considered night anymore. It was so late that it wasn't, maybe it was actually so early in the morning, but I remember that we were lying in your bed and you had your left arm underneath my neck and my face was buried in your old, white T-shirt and it was the first night we'd ever spent together. I had so many emotions flowing throughout my entire body and I just wanted to cry because they were so strong and you were right there and I knew that these emotions were caused by your presence... What would happen to them when you weren't there?

I remember fearing you leaving me, whether it was your choice or mine or fate's, but I grabbed onto that old, white T-shirt of yours and squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could before pulling myself in closer to you. No matter how close I got, I wasn't close enough. Body heat radiated off of you, but my fear left me cold and you warmed me up; you started a fire in my heart and an explosion in my brain.

I must've continued to clench harder and harder onto you because your eyes shot open and you wrapped your hands around my arms—my body—and said with panic in your voice, over and over again, "What's wrong? Are you okay?" And when you saw that I was okay, you released a breath of air, "Don't go, I've got you."

I was startled at first by your quick reaction, but then it hit me. You were left behind once. You were just as scared as I. So I looked up into your dark, piercing, yet innocent eyes and kissed your chin softly, "Yes. Everything's perfect. I'm not leaving you."

I could see a wave of relief wash over you and this time, you nuzzled your face into the crook of my neck and whispered, "I'm not leaving you either." You laid back down and I stroked your cheek up and down, causing you to quickly fall back asleep. I studied your old, white T-shirt one last time, discovering two holes and a single stain. A small smile crept upon my face.

We're just a couple of messy people in a broken world, but sometimes two "wrong" people are right for each other. I can't fix him, just as he can't fix me, but we can help each other fix ourselves. And it wasn't until that very moment where I said to myself, "I love this boy."

Let's thrive on hot pekoe tea tonight , on
a good high with an acoustic guitar
Let's find a bright star , finish the dishes , lets open a jar of wishes and be thankful for where we are
Two porch lovers that discovered one another
in our fifties , the gift of true love thats never ending
Treasuring the start of each day , to find your pretty face
in our quiet , perfect country place
Forevermore* ...