Like many things in life,
Problems occur.
Problems which we are
Meant to learn from.

Like many things in life,
Difficulties arise.
Difficulties that we can
All overcome together.


For better or for worse
the latter is more common,
for worse happens way too often,
the problems we face don't fade.

We live in this prison called life
difficulties arise as we slowly walk
to our demise,we fill our minds
that there are ways we can escape.


The hardships of life
Are only a small part of the
Vivid painting that is life.
We are the complete image.

Though we may have tears,
Rips, piercings, and smudges,
We are still full of wonder and
Our minds are full of light.


**We embrace the order
we border on uniformity
awfully we are digging ourselves
in shelves of debt and depression.

Life is a vivid painting,
staining the realisation that death,
that the last breath taken
and the needless pain is imminent.

I felt the arrow pluck my heart
I don't know how to help myself
I'm slowly but surely falling apart
and I'm dying for your help.

I watch the sun rise from your eyes
then the clouds swept the shine away
I'm trying so hard to get to sleep at night
but I feel like I'm slowly wasting away.

I felt the familiar beat of your heart
I guess I must have remembered wrong
because it was the heels as you depart
and my thought is a jumbled song.

I wish you would just turn back time
back to when you felt in love with me,
to when we fought the world and felt fine
but I guess the one to blame is me.

I look around and I don't know what to feel
my mind has become a muddled mess
I hope that over time I will learn to heal
but there's this tightening in my chest...

and I just feel like I can't breathe.

I am not a book you can put down and pick up when you're up for it,
I am not the chorus of a song, I am the song in its entirety
I will  inspire to be a better person in the name of you,
I would choose to walk to the ends of the universe and pray not to fall,
only to have fallen into an abyss waiting for you,
only to have fallen so far in love with you.

I am like a rolling thunder constantly in movement,
I am human and my human heart is falling apart,
the alarms are ringing in my ears and my tears,
only feels the fear that my shivering hands feel.
I am human and my human heart is beating itself up for you.

I am not a book you can put down on a shelf to collect dust,
I am not the crumbs and crust at the end of what is left of a pizza,
nor am I a people pleaser, I am the embodiment of a raging storm
chose to conform to its environment because fighting a futile fight
is pointless.

I am not an owl awake in the night because I chose to stare at stars,
I am filled with scars that I am hoping the trail of a shooting star could fill,
the night ink drenched on a broken quill, the missing smile,
the living portrayal of denial and a hurting heart.

In my mind we are forever together, in my mind I am holding you,
sober news sounds better than drunk news, the world is safer
the later the hours turn and arm in arm, we are close.
I will always close my eyes and dream of that better life I painted,
even if it is tainted with the wet stains of streaming tears, I close my eyes
painting blue skies with a figure filled with dried eyes where cries
are silenced.
I am still painting, that Disney wedding embedding costumes into mind,
I might be blind but I'll still find my way to your arms, and each scar
is dissipating, the world is levitating on our shoulders
but it doesn't matter.

Please tell me I am still dreaming...because I would rather be dreaming
than imagining...

I am not a book you can put down and pick up when you want,
I am not a picture book with figures erased and faded ink, I am sinking...

I am not a book you can put down so ...please can you come pick me back up?

It's when the lyrics started to make sense that I realised; poetry resides in your eyes.

I used to laugh at the boys who felt heartbroken or saddened by a girl, I used to think of it as an absurd emotion. I am grown up now, and that kid inside me still wishes I could view such a thing in the same light mannered way, but I can't. I wish I could still laugh at those boys without a few painful memories of my own. I remember the first moments of shyly teasing, pretending that we didn't know what was going on, pretending that neither one of us will grow to develop feelings but I guess that is how the world works nowadays. I remember seeing her smile and it is the only thing that I needed to pick me up from a terrible day, a terrible day dripped off the page like rain of an umbrella, the very moment that I saw her smile. That smile, it's a rare smile, so beautiful and yet so mysterious in a way. I was content with just seeing her smile from cheek to cheek because it meant that she's happy and I guess all I wanted was to make her happy. I remember getting to know her, the more I learnt, the more I was intrigued. Sadly humans are the one beings that aren't living in a simplistic world where dreams are made to come true. I remember dreaming of her, and me, together (not in that sense for those with a slightly dirtier mind), we were together drinking coffee, drinking liquor, playing chase on a beach, watching time pass us by in each others arms.
I remember her name, and it may seem so simple but nothing was ever simple with her. Her name was complex, her personality was complex but it's the complexity that made her stand out. I wandered off a wrong path once or twice but suffice to say I knew which way I always wanted to go, I knew where I always wanted to go and it was right to her arms. In my eyes, there is none other more beautiful, more special and made me feel alive as she did. So although I haven't met her in person, I always knew she would become amazing things, only suitable for an amazing person.

I remember many details about that time of my life, the wounds are still fresh and the memories are still haunting me but that's the good thing about it, I can still remember everything that ever made me smile.

[The girl who made a million of my dreams come true.]

Tell me...
Why can't I find what others have found?

Why hasn't that "someone" arrived yet?
The person that I will cross paths with; not by accident but by destiny
The person that will come into my life to stay
The person that will adore me with every bit of their heart
And show me that love is not conditional?