(I) don't know what's sadder;
(The fact that) I thought of you twice today,
or that I'm (still) counting.

And here am I
Saturday's brain
Saturated and static
Beautifully buzzing with anticipation
Glowing, large, gorgeous
I am rotund and proud
Filled with the blissful tension leading
Up to letting go

My heart, like roaring drizzle
Breathes up through my collarbones
out my shoulders and ears
A steady humming in my veins
My earlobes murmuring
In agreement

I think
I'll break the surface now

I can't tell the difference between
The cars and the sea
Both are so distant from this
Makeshift bench near a domestic wasteland
Pervasive wind sounds like a line of
Ladies in waiting
Arriving from the east
And a million other birds I can't identify
Are chatting in the west
No doubt planning their next sockhop
My blood is humming in my feet
To the sound of crickets
And the midnight gloom
Is all too bright.

But I'm so very glad I said no
And let you share my sheets
But not my body
Even though it's all you wanted

I have to
stop filling the
empty spaces in my bed
with cotton and stuffing
And start searching
For love or self-acceptance
- either would be less depraved
than sleeping with the lights on,
surrounded by bears

The literal opposite of a venus flytrap
Apart for that quick second
That breath
Those words
A grin-
your grin
Worn as soft
as the twin peaks of your cupids bow


My lips
Anxious and white
Swallowing flies and waiting
For a chance to see your
vermillions separate