Once again,

I desire something I cannot have.
God smiles, and the devil laughs.

As a purge myself again,
with a  bath.

she was infectious
especially that smile
the tingle started in my heart
and spread between my legs
like a spill in a aisle

she was a drug
that I could not rid myself off
she was sweet, and I had not even tasted her mouth
a beautiful disease
that would not be cured with ease

she was a cancer
I had asked about love,
believing she was the answer
I was an indecisive Libra
but I knew *I need her

what is her heart made of?
an elastic glove
of peoples waste of hate, harm, and pain
yes father, you know her name!
why did you make her their punching bag!
******, bruised, always sad?
It makes me mad!
beat me. use me. spare her.
I'll take her cross,
for hers is much to heavy to bear

little children
whom I adore...

sorry I wasn't always fun
at times, I did bore.

sorry I wasn't always nice
candy is sweet, but reality is spice.

sorry I didn't kiss and hug you enough
I do not know, how not to be tough.

I only wished I could have loved you more
for that reason, my heart will die sore.

I just wanted to be the only star in your galaxy
but I was too bright
blinding you with light that you could not see.

I just wanted to be the sun in your gloomy sky
too high with my expectations
you were not man enough to be that guy.

I am a beautiful rainbow,
you my foe are nothing more than the devil beating his wife
to hell with you a$$hole and your life!

how long must I love thyself?
doing the work of someone else?

how long must I clean up
and smell good---extreme measures
for nobodies pleasure.

how long must I take selfies
and compliment my own beauty
this is not my duty!

how long must I be a pretty sad girl
alone in this lovers world?

what am I doing wrong?
h          o      w                                                 l            o            n              g?

24 tears
24 years
24 tugs of death
as I try to taste your breath
your life
your beauty
I miss you little girl,

love yours truly.