Earth    1999 -    
It's an adventure. I'm chasing sunlight and fighting dragons in my mind.
Want to join me?
It's an adventure. I'm chasing sunlight and fighting dragons in my mind.
Want to join me?
Amethyst Fyre
Amethyst Fyre
2 days ago

The train window swallows mansions and fields and rivers and box-like houses as if all are mere stick figures

There are tears pressed behind my eyes, and they desperately want to jump from the red rims of my eyelids and end it all

End it all

The water pressure in my head has reached a point where the measurements start to break down, thoughts tossed turbulently into darkness and suddenly breathing water seems better than breathing air

My headphones crackle with music as I gaze at my fellow passengers in disbelief- the woman next to me is looking at shoes

Doesn't she get it? Don't they get it? How futile it all is? How beautifully endlessly painful and deadly life is?
I choke on rain when I close my eyes

The train roars forward in mechanical bliss with its destruction of the scenery outside

A boy is sitting across from me now. He leans closer and I catch death in his dark, empty eyes.
'And you thought you were going to be okay' he sneers.
My tears and water soaked brain are paralyzed into ice.
'My dear' he confides, wrapping me in his bitter, syrupy touch.
You will never be okay.

He laughs, melting through the screeching train car
And my iced-over tears break
I know now he waits patiently on the train's tracks
And I fervently hope I will never meet him there

Amethyst Fyre
Amethyst Fyre
2 days ago

I forgot my jacket upstairs in the law office that bears my last name on the wall
It's a fancy building, so I need the elevator operator to take me up
'Are you Mr. Maladi's daughter?' he asks
No, actually. I'm Mr. Bradley's daughter
It takes a second before the pieces connect
'I'm so sorry'
He hugs me, teary-eyes
'I loved the man, he was such a good guy,' he nods

It's been over four years

My dad always said to make friends with the people who support a building
He said you never know where they've been
And that too often they're taken for granted, when they're always there when you need them

And today I saw the effects of this
My dad living the way he taught me

I have never been prouder to be his daughter

<3
#death  
Amethyst Fyre
Amethyst Fyre
3 days ago

It seems that adulthood means
Spending a disproportionate amount of time
Calling some big company that doesn't care
If you have more important things to do

You're always on hold.

Amethyst Fyre
Amethyst Fyre
5 days ago

It is true darkness that congregated in the corners of my room that night
And I could not recognize it, only knowing its cousin
Who hovers by streetlights and candles

Deep down, I've always known that the fae dance across my face and talk about me as I fell asleep
I knew what this was, though I did not know enough to fear the messenger
I knew this was a summons
A summons to the moonlight world that shadows the world we know and love

Suddenly, we are far beyond my bedroom
Traipsing through an electric, thorn-filled jungle
My stomach begs loudly of hunger, but it barely registers
With the amount of static sounding in the air
We walk on pathways stripped from the northern lights, pinks and greens, without solid footing
Magnetized forward faster and faster
To destiny

My feet bleed and the true darkness closes behind me, devouring the evidence of my red-stained path

A mist that I had never noticed dissipates
And I see the mushrooms
They glow ghost-white, towering tall as trees
Standing sentinel in a circle, the guardians of such laughter and music as you could never describe-
The music!
It is shattering crystal, raging rivers, and the death song of birds all at once
The darkness pushes me into the circle, and I whirl and twirl to its sound
The erratic beat taking over my heart ryhthm
I throb with its energy, my hands begin emitting their own glow
And the fae begin to take more form around me, in silvers and golds

The music screeches and my heart skips a beat
The circle begins to rumble
Mortal girl comes the echo
My skin feels the kiss of acid rain
You should not have come here
This place is not for the likes of you
A fae with a wreath of thorns adorning its head steps forward
Darkness burning in the sockets where once there may have been eyes

I cannot speak, its stare melting my lips into my face
You have seen too much, you have danced with us
Tell me why I should not hold you here
I look away, desperately trying to gather my thoughts and my voice
The fae would not care about my family, my friends
It would not care about my dreams
The true darkness caresses my hair and I hear its sharp laughter

"I-" I begin

The laughter cuts away, the static dies and my voice hangs in the vaccuum
"I was brought here, by you I presume"
I dare to look the dark fae in the eyes
"I was a dreamer enough to follow"
"You wish to challenge us humans, your endless source of amusement"
"Our torture is your game"
The fae concedes with a thoughtful nod
"But there is no greater torture than to know this place and never come back" I finish
The fae chuckles, as I bite my lip

Clever mortal it mocks
Indeed, go home. I banish you from my lands
May you suffer it adds with a smile

And I am cold
I fall from my bed in a tangle of blankets
In my ear, I hear the wriggling of music
It never quite goes away
The darkness smirks at me from the corners
And I cry softly
For who has ever willingly given up on the fae?
But I hear my sister waking up and I start to smile, despite my sacrifice
For how very few have met the fae and lived?

Storytime!
Amethyst Fyre
Amethyst Fyre
5 days ago

If you take me out of the equation,
Everything I own is just pollution
Beginning a journey worth years and years of faithfully decaying
Until finally concluding in restored purity

And if you add me back in,
I can't help but ask
How does that really change anything?
When it's all the same end result?

Amethyst Fyre
Amethyst Fyre
6 days ago

You can't forget

There's you
and others
and our planet
and space

And you can't forget that, though sometimes you only see yourself,
You can't forget you're part of something so much greater

It's a plea, a commandment
Remember

And it is a warning
That once you see the world this way
You can't forget
And even the darkness behind your eyelids begins to take on shape

Yet, even mistakes can be beautiful

I made a shorter version of a different poem about an art project I did
Amethyst Fyre
Amethyst Fyre
7 days ago

I'd always thought I had more self respect
Than to let someone touch me when I didn't want them to
But I realize now it's not really about self-respect
Not with who I am right now
Because when you're not living for yourself-
Or, let me rephrase that,
You care for other people, so you haven't killed yourself-
You get out of practice with saying what you want
No matter whether you love who you are or not

I want you to stop touching me, it's starting to bother me, to eat away at my happiness before I sleep at night

Some part of me is still the princess
It's how I survive the dark, I play the ultimate innocent part
Trying to be perfect, polite, and kind
I don't want to make you feel bad or apologize
Self-sacrificing
Controllable

It comes down to how controllable I can be
Whether I can make the words fall off my tongue, for myself
Or whether I will bite them off before they begin, for you

Life for yourself, as quick as you can
It only gets harder the farther away you get

 
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