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I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.
Because life's to short
and trying is to tough
Because hearts are to frail
and life is to rough
Because failure is just defeat
and never at all a lesson
Because sadness leads to agony
and agony leads to depression
Because this life is worthless
and it all means nothing
Because hope is useless
and its ever worth doubting
Because feelings are to much
and just something we don't get
Because our choices are faulty
and that we seem to regret
Because trust is uncommon
and never even worth while
Because being 'Deep' Is to hard
and one step seems like a mile

But the truth is beyond us
Its something I work for
A world without lies or depression
Or maybe even something more.

So I stagger forward
as you should too
In hopes that these miles
bring me closer to you.

Because all in all, I've fallen.
(This is the day I die, The day I'm forgotten, And the day I'm born anew)
Stepping in the footsteps
of mistakes made long ago;
I can't seem to stop myself
from trudging through this snow.
I cannot see the light ahead
or any from behind.
My thoughts have seemed to disappear -
there's nothing here to find.
I feel like I'm running in circles;
around and around I go.
Forever trapped inside my head,
there's no where else to go.
I don't know why I'm stuck here,
but there's one thing that I do know;
if you ever think to look for me,
you'll find me buried in the snow.
Call a                          doctor/ plumber/ priest
My heart is               broken/ leaking/ deceased

My life is                   worthless/ so much better/ over
I'm going to              **** myself/ tell your wife/ Dover

How could you         leave me/ not know/ lie?
I hope you                return my stuff/ come back/ die

I'll never                   forget you/ forgive you/ go away
I need                        closure/ a DNA test/ to tell you I'm gay

Your                           face/ crotch/ top of your back
Is                                so beautiful/ lumpy/ unusually slack

Your                           ex/ mother/ best friend from school
Always made me      great coffee/ feel inadequate/ drool

I will                           miss you/ **** you/ stalk you forever
That way we can      be friends/ get away with it/ be together

I'm sorry                   you did this/ I did this /we failed
I promise to               pay you/ dye it back/ get you bailed
Please don't               leave me/ show the Polaroids/ write or call


(*delete as appropriate, just delete it all.....)
 Jun 2010 Amanda Karter
Restivo
Yours,

          I know where you live (how many times have I walked in the door, as if I lived there myself? Opened the cupboard, filled a glass with water, asked about your roommate’s days? Kicked my shoes off nonchalantly, checked my email on your computer, spread out on your bed and read a novel while you played video games? Sat on your couch to watch television with the rest of your house, my legs draped over yours? Slept in your bed, pressed up against your body? Was woken up to satisfy a primal urge, knowing what you like? Kept the volume of my moans down, not out of embarrassment, your roommates have heard me so many times it hardly matters, but out of respect for the early hour? Made myself some toast, drank some juice from your fridge, left you sweetly sleeping to catch the bus?).
          I know where you work (and when, when there is no point for me to look for you, glimpse you in your uniform, a quick kiss before class, join you on your break while you eat turkey and cranberry sauce).
          I somehow find myself in these places. I look up from being lost in thought, and panic as I realize that I could run into you at any moment. Seeing you hurts me so I rush away from these danger zones - but always glancing back.
          Why do I torture myself so, with the hurt comes from seeing you, thinking of you? Because one day, I know I will see you without distress. One day I may smile in recollection at the love we once had. I am tortured every day with the sight of you by the hope that finally, this day is the last you will cause me pain.

Mine.
If hope is rain,
The land is dry.
If it's bird, it cannot fly.
If it's a heart,
It's shot clean through.
I wish I could live life anew.
Can't see without its light.
Can't breathe with out its breath.
Can you walk with half a spine?
Talk with half a jaw?
Could you ever live in life?
Could you ever die in death?
all rights reserved
Hold me close so I can feel no pain,
Listen to my heart, it’s beginning to rain.
   Is there nothing you can do or say...,
That’ll make this pain go away?
   Looks like it’s gonna be a cloudy day.

And life goes on it’s plain to see
   The bitter truths of reality
Is this how it’s meant to be?
   Call it fate or destiny.


   Can you feel the rumble as the thunder roars?
Lightening strikes, the tears begin to pour.
   What will break first, the storm or I?
Fierce winds stir ‘round the pain inside...,
   Looks like it’s gonna be a dark lonely sky.

And life goes on each waking day,
   With skies of blue or skies of gray.
Do we embrace or do we betray?
   Is it providence or come what may?
© Copyright 2008 L. A. Anglin

— The End —