Why am I living a life like I have a dead brother?
Why do I have to live up to the expectations of our mother?
You have no idea how much  love i have for you.
But I hate all the things you choose to do.
In an out of jail like it's a motel.
Drinkin and druggin
Without a care
So hard to bare.
Wheres my brother he's the one I miss.
Deep down in side I know you don't care about any of  this.
At first I thought maybe you were just having a bad day.
But no mom and dad didn't raise you this way.
You continued to do wrong.
Waiting over 10 years for you to change is way too long.
Always saying you wanna die.
Leaving for days without saying goodbye.
Tattoos on your face.
They say youre a disgrace.

No I know my brother is still in there.
But I just don't know where.
Momma's crying
You're always lieing
Why do you live a life this way?
But you been doing this for years so what can I say??
Holding up a sign.
Right on loop 289.
Asking for change
You're so out of my range.
Living life like I never thought you could.
You can change or at least I hoped you would.
I'm trying not to lose hope.
But youre smoking things worse than   dope.
You're trying to **** that kid I once knew.
The one kid that would never think to
My brothers still there but he's not the guy he used to be.
He's nothing  but  a stranger to me.

Panic attacks are like the wind.
You can't see the wind but you can surely feel it.
Panic attacks are like a boomerang.
You throw it away thinking you're fine.  But it comes right back to you.
Panic attacks are like setting off a firework.
You know it's going to go off.  But when it does it scares you.

These chains get heavier and heavier.
They get harder and harder to carry .
As I fall to the ground I cry and cry.
So much pain, so much pain.
A light shines down on me.
So bright it breaks every chain.
That light was Jesus. He broke every chain.

My light
Is no longer bright.
My heart
Has fallen apart.
My mind
Is always on rewind.

Slowly I see the sun go down, and I know what's coming . As I sit at the foot of my bed,  I hold my head.  I scream internally.
"LET ME SLEEP! ""LET ME SLEEP! ""LET ME SLEEP! "  I lie down and close my eyes, trying to sleep.  My mind won't let me,  my mind won't let me.  I try my hardest to not think of anything, but my mind continues running around.  I scream internally again
"LET ME SLEEP! ""LET ME SLEEP! ""LET ME SLEEP! "   But my mind don't let me.