1993 -    
Hello to all, my name is Joshua. I found this site using an add-on called, "StumbleUpon". I thought it was interesting, so I signed up for it.

I have another website to where I post my poems, stories, etc.

2013: My old poetry absolutely SUCKS.
I've matured a bit since then.

Check it out: http://scribd.com/Joshua_Phelps
Hello to all, my name is Joshua. I found this site using an add-on called, "StumbleUpon". I thought it was interesting, so I signed up for it.

I have another website to where I post my poems, stories, etc.

2013: My old poetry absolutely SUCKS.
I've matured a bit since then.

Check it out: http://scribd.com/Joshua_Phelps

The world around me is revolving slowly
While the people surrounding move faster & faster
As I am caught in between the fibers of time

Why am I here?
Do I even belong?

My only therapy is the songs I hear in my head
My only medication is the drugs that make me wish I were dead

I'm just a shell of my former self.
I'm not what I used to be.

It seems there's no resolution,
only an empty cell waiting for me in this institution.

Dear diary, please help me now.

There's only so much abuse I can inflict upon myself.

The cuts on my wrist, the empty bottle of pills
The lacerations on my fist, shaking from the anger still.

I've got my fix, each line getting me higher
The only answer getting clearer, as my lows keep climbing to the ladder.

My sanity escaping.
Depression creeping
As the ghost of death takes over me.

Oh diary, it seems it's goodbye to you and I.
It seems no matter what I do, the world isn't going to accept me.

I'll never belong.

I'll always be different.

Goodbye and goodnight.

I'll see you on the other side.

----------------------------

Dear diary, I'm an addict.

Yesterday was proof of concept.

Tomorrow is a death wish.

If I don't do something now,
I may never get to see the light of day.

Dear diary, please help me now.

Because I can't do this alone anymore.

I had a stint with drugs in 2012.

I felt like killing myself.

Now I know life is worth so much more.
#suicide   #poetry   #addiction   #death   #drugs  
Aiden Phelps
Aiden Phelps
Sep 5, 2016

I remember when we were kids,
Carefree in a vicious world

We didn't have to worry.
We didn't have to care about reality.
We were stuck in the confines
Of our imagination.

Life was much simpler then.

We were protected
We were sheltered

Our parents didn't want us to worry.

After all, you can't tell a child you're
Struggling to get by. Struggling to protect them from the demons that terrorize the city.

We were so busy ignoring all the signs
We never thought our lives would come to an end.
That, one day, we may not make it out alive.

The world keeps spinning.
We know it's just a matter of time,
Before we lose it all.

So put your hands up high
And make a wish upon a star
May we rest in perfect harmony
May we conquer tranquility

And one day, we hope our wishes will come true.

  Only then will the stars shine for us.

Gonna be a song soon.
#poetry   #end   #world   #dark   #of   #the   #fantasy  
Aiden Phelps
Aiden Phelps
Jun 17, 2016

It’s been since October,
Since I’ve last heard from you

The cold wind blows,
And sometimes,
I hear you calling my name.

The ghost of you following me
Everywhere I go.

The sun comes alive,
Giving me hope
That in the end,
Life isn’t so bad
after all.

I may fall.
I may have my moments,
When I feel like a loser.

...Deep down inside
I know that’s not true.

My life has a purpose,
This I know.

This purpose I’ve yet to find,
But it’s still a long way down
The road less traveled.

All I ask, is that you
walk with me
And stay by my side

Be my guardian angel,
Be my compass.

Guide me in the right direction,
because I don’t know
which way to go.

I’ve been lost for so long,

It’s time I step out of the shadows,
It’s time I live my life.

We only have so long left to go,
Let’s cherish each and every moment,
And live our lives to the fullest.

Yesterday would have been my dad's 69th birthday. I miss you, dad. Meaning behind "Ghost of You": https://thoughtsandactions.net/2016/06/17/meanings-behind-poetry-part-vi-ghost-of-you/
#love   #poetry   #sad   #death   #loss   #happy   #of   #ghost   #you  
Aiden Phelps
Aiden Phelps
Jul 28, 2015

There are days,
When you feel like you're not enough

Days where you,
Wish you weren't here at all.

You see everything around you change,
And it seems like you're stuck in the dark.

You put on a facade,
To hide that deep down
You're breaking into
A million little pieces

You wish there was a light
At the end of the tunnel
Wish there was a way
To escape.
And I wish there was a way
That you could be convinced

That in the end,
It will all be alright.

At some point in our lives,
We just have to take a step back
And allow ourselves
To break apart

Reconstruct and begin
To find the walls to put us back together
Never hiding, but never staying in our shelter.

Just take my hand,
We'll make it through this together.

Lately I've felt like nothing ever changes. I'm still holding on.
Aiden Phelps
Aiden Phelps
Jan 24, 2015

I don't know what hell you've been through,
I'm not sure how many days,
You've endured loneliness and neglect

You could have reached out.
Instead you decided
Living was just a game,
And completely took everyone by storm

And I'm not sure why
You took your own life

I'll question it 'til the end of time.

You've had so much going for you
But in your eyes, there was nothing left to live for

Why you couldn't speak up,
Before it was too late...

Why you didn't tell anyone,
And only gave us a short moment's notice
Before you pulled that trigger

How was it logical,
Perfectly normal,
For you to think
You'll leave this world today?

...Now all we have,
Is memories and the image of
What we once knew how you used to be

...And not the true form you revealed ever so quickly.

This goes out to a friend who passed away on Tuesday night. I wish you could have given someone a warning, instead of accepting taking your life as something that just happens.
#suicide   #poetry   #death   #loss  
Aiden Phelps
Aiden Phelps
Sep 13, 2014

Glance behind you,
What you may see may disturb you.

What you once were
isn't what you are now.

It's not the physical appearance; the way you dress
Not the tone of your voice,
the change in your character –
But the change in your demeanor

You've developed from a carefree soul
to a figure you never imagine yourself being

The lines on your face,
developed from years of hardship;
days in which you endured, prevailed
fell back down, got back up again

Weeks in which you worked day to day,
Just to make ends meet. Months in which
You struggled to keep up on your feet.

Your past self imagined this would be
The equivalent of a cold, dark world.

In every way, you see it's worth it.

Worth each waking morning.

This may not be what you wished for
When you were younger...

...It's all a part of living life.

We eat, we drink, we live, we die.
Pay our debts in order to survive.

We have to live through hardships,
In order to make it throughout life.

#poetry   #man   #life   #working   #class   #hardships  
Aiden Phelps
Aiden Phelps
Jul 18, 2014

We’ve traveled for a long while now,
And I don’t regret each moment...
Spent together with you.

All we have is each other these days,
And to be honest, I’m perfectly OK with that
Who am I without you?
(Who are you without me?)

You helped a fragile heart,
Unlocked it from a keepsake treasure box
Kept it living, kept it breathing
Kept it pumping, kept it bleeding

You helped push me forward when I was too scared to move.

You gave me courage,
You gave me strength

Something I could never feign

_________

Look at me,
A hundred miles away
From home, from friends
From family and loved ones alike

You say it’s a big jump.
While I agree; I’m willing to take the risks

What’s life without boundaries?

However, I’ll be the first to admit: It’s not easy.

I will miss them dearly.

I know they’ll be in my heart,
As I will be in theirs.

But I need to move on with my life.

I need to take that final leap of faith
And let love guide the way to a better life

To my friends and family. And my lover.
#love   #poetry   #heart   #faith   #of   #on   #moving   #leap  
 
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