It's 3 am. Again.
I'm wide awake.
There's no reason for you to haunt me
And yet,
the permanent ache residing in my chest
is starting to feel normal.
I've begun to forget
the life I had before this.
I'm hollowed out,
my insides scraped away
by everything and nothing at all.
At night, I reminisce
half-fantasying a life we never lived.
And dully, I remember all the places our bodies met
but never touched.
My thoughts run away from me again.
I think of you. I think of me. I think of us.
No. There was never an us.
Not really.
There was always a space in between,
So we'd never had to feel.
And still, your departure has left me with a wound too deep to ever heal.

My heart is beating
But I am not alive.
Yet with blood flowing through my veins
I cannot claim the sweet victory of death.
Rather, the meaningless days consume me
Passing by so easily as I whither away.
They laugh and grin as time wastes them.
But I find it leaves a bitter taste on my lips,
That causes me to sometimes wonder
If I am doomed to die with my last breath,
Leaving behind legends of nothingness,
And no one to remember my name.

bask in a love that frees
a love like that first ray of sunlight,
after a cold and dark winter.

a love that is freely given and helps us grow,
and not the codependant and addictive love
that binds and controls.

I laugh and dance in the sunlight of God's love
that makes me whole and safe.  
no thing or person can ever take away this freedom,
unless I give it away.

may the forces of gravity draw us near
the ocean tides swell till a wave brings
you home

you are like the moon with its ethereal glow
a beacon on a dark night

no matter how far I am
I can stare at the moon and
know that the same moon light
that shines on me shines on you

may the light of the moon draw us near
to the magnificent glow of the sun
without getting burned

only today

on my way

I found a flower

flower of the wind

white…

Picked it up

slowly

looked through

to connect

almost transparent

made a wish

in silence

then blew it…

to you

time stopped there

for me.