Genuine like a child
Candid like an open book
Exotic like The Wild
Reassuring like a second look

For a moment I was happy
For a moment I was married
For a moment I had will to live
For a moment I felt like a Queen.
And in only just a moment
I lost everything

Do you remember when imagination
Ran rampant and tree houses became castles
Or the garage floor was boiling lava?
Our own little world within a much bigger one.
We were so absorbed in our own bliss that
We unknowingly sheltered ourselves from a reality
That all adults suffered through

Do you remember when you used to build legos?
An obsession with building a spaceship
To soar high above everyone and anything else.
You would show mommy your art and she'd be so impressed
And soon after, you'd be back in the lab,
Trying to surpass your previous creation
In an attempt to gain mommy's love.

Do you remember when you went camping?
We would lay in tents on the cold, hard earth
And stare off into the starry sky until serenity
Would cradle us off into slumber or the time
When your brothers/sisters kept being rambunctious,
Fighting and screaming, so much to the point where
Daddy threatened to take us all home and call it quits

Do you remember when you grew up?
You finally became the young man/woman your parents
Raised you to be for all those years.
It's time you join that reality that you so easily
Sheltered yourself from, but now caught up to you.
Reality can be a scary thing you thought to yourself
But you knew you couldn't hide from it.

School, work and sleep now rules your life.
Throw a newborn into the mix and
you've now officially joined the real world.
A world in which takes all that you give
And you don't think twice about asking.
You spend hours a day, working,
but do you remember the last time you were happy?

Just remember the little things in life and don't let adulthood swallow you whole.

It's become apparent that I accept
death as it's inevitable. Now, don't
confuse my acceptance of it with asking to
be marked with my personal ending.
If death has marked itself upon me, I
can truly say that I have lived a great
life. I'm sure you're asking as to how
I've lived a great life in such a short
span of time.

I've over come a lot of personal
obstacles; challenges that I have
never expected to accomplish. I've
risen against depression that
plagued me for years. I've opened
up to others for I realize I need my
friends just as much as they need
me. Last, but not least, I've
conquered my fear of conveying my
emotions that used to be trapped in
an infernal prison deep inside the confines
of my mind. These three obstacles
hindered me in the highest caliber
in regards to living a great life.

So yes, I accept death and I do
welcome it in open arms when it
extends its eventual invitation
because deep down, I'm content
with how everything has fallen
into place within my life. In the
end, when you learn how to die,
you learn how to live.

Michael was a teenager who made straight A's
and participated in any sport he could,
but Michael was flamed for being gay
for society deemed he should.

Michael didn't seem to have any friends
for all were repulsed by him,
simply because of the way he bends,
And thus, his happiness dimmed.

When Michael gets home, it's straight to his room.
His father a drunk, his mother out of state,
giving birth to a constant loop of daily doom
So you could say things weren't that great.

Michael was beaten daily, for why he knew not.
Mr. Smith always began by lifting his hand,
stating these bruises were a lesson to be taught
and confused Michael couldn't take a stand.

If one person could've stood up and been kind,
Michael might still be here.
Instead, one dark thought stole his mind
and with it, all of his fears.

If I told you a secret, what would you do with it?
Would you sit there, pondering with your inner thoughts
or would you journey far and wide to proclaim it?
Perhaps to put it simply, would you accept or reject it?
Alas, my mind is constantly jumbled up
because I honestly don't know where to begin.

That night we laid together, I felt a euphoric wholeness;
a feeling that even I'm not accustomed to
and in that instance, time seemed to stop.
I didn't want you to leave and you best believe
I didn't want to stop holding you.

I don't think I've ever had an affection this pristine
for I've only ever conceived it in my dreams
and daily, this feeling becomes more unraveled by its seams.

I was poking a piece of paper with a pen out of sheer boredom.
Thus, a rough sketch of a heart was born
by a simple series of ink blots with repetition.
Then I thought: why did I do that?
At first glance, it was just a random assortment
of ink spots that seemingly have no meaning,
but as it catches my eye every now and then,
I realize it has seduced every nerve in my brain.
I figuratively try to imagine what my mind
looks like, but all I see is an enveloping mist
that my subconscious has sent forth
in an attempt to end my pervasiveness;
to uncover what I deem as truth.
Although, I can tell that the more I try to understand
why my subconscious is doing this,
the thinner this metaphorical blockage becomes.

I can see a silhouette of a person, a woman to be exact.
Her feminine figure exhibiting serenity in it's rawest form,
down to even the smallest of details.
Dare I approach this woman to uncover the secrets she holds
Or should I stand here, jaw agape, as I stand in awe?
Perhaps I may do both.

Please body, grant me the courage to move.
The longer I wait, the chance of her fading increases
and frankly, I do not wish for this to occur.
I feel that every step I make closer to her,
The stiffness of this paralysis only grows exponentially.
Curse these infernal bonds, I cast off these chains,
but it appears it's too late for now,
This apparition is approaching me.

In the beginning we made small talk, but I have to say,
those itty-bitty conversations were worth it.
They manifested into an array of discussions,
portraying our various ideals and goals;
It laid down our foundation,
but what really caught my attention
was the wisdom you so blissfully displayed.
It wasn't forceful in the slightest, but
rather all natural. My infatuation grew.

A dimly lit courtyard.
Flavored tobacco up in the air.

A table amongst friends.
Their chatter all tuned out.

A shoulder to lay on.
Causation of drug induced slumber.

Upon mountains high.
Walkers of the sky.

Ocean of lights below.
Hands clasp tight.

Still night in the park.
No more second guessing.

Gliding across ice.
Cancerous sin now ended.

Sleep tight, together now.
A kiss upon the forehead.

Okay?
Okay.

The longer I continue with this addicting contemplation,
a greater feeling of soothing realization
conquers this brooding mist and I feel uplifted.
There is one thing comes to mind:
I cannot stop adoring you.