Lily Karter

Lily Karter May 2015

Sad and alone,
I stare into the stars.
There are millions, and billions,
All connected by the dust in which they were formed in.
I'm told that all things in the universe start from the same beginning,
That we are made from the same dust as the stars....

But I don't feel like a star.

I feel like a black hole that takes all these wonderful and magnificent wonders in life and swallows them whole.

I feel like the dark side of the moon,
cold, untouched, and deadly.
My heart feels frozen
And I can feel every crater in my skin,
Reminding me of all the harm I've inflicted,
And all the wrong choices I've made.

I never lied when I told you that you were my sun...

You are warm and give life to all things.
Without you, I'm just a cold, damaged moon
Causing the tides to rise and destroying the world with every move I make.

Lily Karter Sep 2014

Untitled

As the Autumn leaves fall,
so does our very foundation.

I feel like I'm watching the destruction of everything we fought for in slow motion.

I feel sick.

I feel meaningless, and dead.
Once filled with love and joy,
This soul of mine is now empty.

I should have realized things were too good to be true.
You loved me too much for it to be real.

I should have expected it.
In hindsight it's all there.

The distance.
The accusations.
The distrust.
The selfishness.

You were never in it for us,
You were only in it for the benefits it provided.

I gave you a shoulder to cry on,
A roof over your head,
Food to eat,
A place to sleep,
Compassion and support.

I helped you out of your hole just so you could walk away.
Once your needs were met, I was no longer one of them.

Lily Karter Jul 2013

Untitled

My biggest fear:
Thinking you can trust no one.
They say one thing,
and then act another.

Using someone for convenience,
but making them think otherwise.
Being so selfish,
can cause harm to another.

How can someone be so heartless?

Lily Karter Jun 2013

You

C. Joybell C.*

You have
Untangled me

You're the only one
Who knows how to.

Lily Karter Jun 2013

Untitled

When your depressed,
Sometimes you have to
Scream and be angry
So you can get things off your chest,
Because there's no point in feeling
Sad and dead inside.

This is what I said to someone in my dream last night, and I found it really true. I know one of my problems with depression is that I keep everything inside and it wears me down to the point where I don't feel human.

Lily Karter May 2013

Untitled

I have nightmares every night.
I feel like I have become numb to the notion of fear.
The demons don't frighten me;
The ghouls don't startle me;
Death doesn't shake me.

But yet, I find myself now awake with tears streaming down my face.
I woke from the dream that frightens me most.
The dream that is a true reality that I live every single day.
I dreamed that I saw my love from a distance;
And that he would not acknowledge my existence.
No grins peeking from the side of ones mouth,;
Not even a wonder form ones eyes.

You sat there as I stared at you
Silently begging for you to see me and end the pain.

I live my greatest fear every day.
The cold shoulder you give
Sends the dagger deeper into my heart.

Lily Karter Apr 2013

Dreams

Today, I didn't miss you.
I laid in bed, and thought of the outside world.
My favorite spot on the creek.
The hill where I want to build a house.
The type of person I want to be.
The places I want to go.
The family I want to raise.
And the man I want to marry.

But never a thought of you.