surfaces and layers
whatever lies in between
no, it's not serious
no, it's not off the bat
i'm sick of being sick and i'm being without really being
i am always for myself just as i am always for others

enough turns to waiting
patience dry like my mouth
when the blunt hits, i want someone to ******* fight for this

these eases are built inside my own head
and anyone outside of them risks being crushed
it's too high up
you can't reach it
you're real but you're not being realistic
(lauren)

give them room and they will grow
give them their bodies and they'll show you what they got
my outlets ache
on more than just one surface

i am feeling so soft and tiny and happy and warm. this is such a small posting but i needed to do it. my heart has come open, i think, and in the best way. i felt things i haven’t felt in a long time for someone, and i like how different they are from me. and i love how we are together, our voices sounding sweetly and softly while the sun comes up. smiling, laying next to each other, my face was wider and happier than it’s been. i have a swelling in my throat for these happy candles inside me. if i can find a way to keep these candles burning, i will.

I felt my body from every angle,
different angles
just to see what the **** the touch would feel like at my skin's own
surface value
I'm craving a point of view that's
beloved and gloved
but my drying eyelids beg to differ

I've always been a one woman
band
doing it without a hint of man I'm
inside myself with my right hand
it's all a cold sweat up to here—
back knees and an achy breeze—

last night I thought about death before bed again
I only sleep when it's raining showers
to my solemned out thoughts, put yourselves on the glowing paper in front of me

I'd rather you place your curvatures
directly inside of this outline
it'll be easier that way, so tell them what you want and then go *******
get it
my finger creases are proportionately equal to the amount of
words I've spent on human hands
this minted empty intimacy has always been familiar to me

dipped in the nook of your bed
it's not supposed to be there,
but you've settled in it before
alone,
we take turns mumbling heartfelt
sighs and soft secrets

our heads on your pillows
as if they were fragile and full and
weightless
another 20 minutes sharing this
same space
you don't get up until I do
it's all I can do to not to

how I could hold your body—
separate, yet still so far from mine—
could be the closest I'd ever get
to giving my real whole person to
another real whole person

I'm alive and breathing
but this air isn't thin enough

I think about kissing you to no end
kissing you, magically kissing your name and lips into the air around us
to be near you, against you, beside
you

I see you and I see everything all over again at once
I find you all the time and want to
hold you all the time
when your hands
the precious delicate ways your hands can look in a quiet,
crowded room
the way you look standing there
across the oceans of space standing between us
I'm waning like the moon, but for your
face's beauty to find me just once

just once is all it would take to dive into you completely
I can't help being so truly enamored
your orb of light and my raw hearted being

to experience a wave like you in a storm like me is the incredible way our souls found each other

consciously slowing the depth of my own realness is the most unnatural thing i've ever done
it's an attempt at my sole protection
it's an attempt at my soul's protection

to avoid the dragging of my heart across some rocky ground is all I can
ask of you
low hanging clouds hover above your edge
covering what it is I'm seeking to find,
but just so you know
nothing about you is low hanging

I unevenly know where my blindness will get me, I just know it's only ever gotten me somewhere
the only sureness is to not get hurt
and not feel that pain all over again
another 10 months can't ruin me like he did,
I'm already too strong and it hasn't been that long

the sleeves of my coat feel tighter,
I wish it was enough for your sweet air to handle