Blood on the interstate,this world is an awful place.I don't know what I can doto convince you to make a change.Why can't you understand?There is nothing that gives a manthe right to abuse and destroythe animals or the land.It seems death is everywhereand nobody seems to care.How can you just keep drivinglike you don't see the bodies lying there?You've paved over all their homes.Now they have nowhere to go.You kill them without a second thoughtif they dare to step on your roads.Your apathy just breaks my heart.Your cruelty tears it apart.How can I make you see this when I don't even know where to start?
It seems I fall in love every daywith those who bare their soulsthrough the art that they create,the words that they write,or the music that they play.Only they make me believe thatsomeone understands my pain.I can't talk to people that I know.I never know just what to say.So I imagine the artists I admirewould understand me anyway.Though I only know them in my mind,they still are not as fakeas the people I have come to knowin the real life I have made
There were six of us but only one of me.I knew you all so well and I could seethe great men each of you could beand I knew you would eventually.I fell in love with each of youI know it sounds stupidbut I promise it's true.I didn't knowwhat I could do.So I just waited for one of you to choose.Another friend was all you saw.Sometimes I thinkyou didn't see me at all.Still I couldn't help but falland sit in my room wishing one of you would call.
I'm sorry for what I did to you.I never meant to break your heart.I sometimes wonder if things could be differentif we made a new start.You should know that I'm confused and scared and I don't know what to do.All I know is that sometimes I wishthat I was still with you.In the beginning you made me feel so goodbecause I thought you needed me,but I just didn't understand how very hard these things can be.I felt that I had lost myself amidst that chaos that we shared.I didn't like the person I was then.I wasn't even sure the real me was still there.I know that none of that was your fault.I never really let you seethat there were times I needed you just as much as you needed me.Instead I let my anger grow until I thought that I would drown.Ending what we had together was the only solution that I found.Now when I look back on our timeI wonder what might have beenif I'd just had the courage to tell youall of this back then.You were my first everything.You opened up my heart.When I think of that it seems so crazyfor us to be apart.And yet I'm scared to try again,scared of the pain that I might cause.I don't know if you realize how terrible it wasto see how badly you were hurtby something I had done.But I didn't know what else to doso I decided to just run. I wanted you to know that,in all my adult life,that night we talked in that parking lotyou saw the only tears I've cried.
I desperately need to believe in the potential of humanity,that there is the possibilitythat we can all become better.I know that if we learn to change eventually there will come a daywhen we will live the right wayand give up all our evils. I imagine a future timewhen we will see the value in every life,all humans and non-humans alike,and there will be no more prejudice. We will learn to protect the earth.We will love her and see her worth.We'll vow to never be like we were,so destructive and selfish.We will learn to live in harmonywith each other and all we see,and we'll know there's no need to beangry, greedy or frightened.We'll restore all that we have harmed,release the innocent from inside their bars,instead we'll hold them in our armsand never again will we use them. No longer judging by appearances,we'll see everything for just what it is,and acceptance is all that we will giveto those who are not like us.There will be no more need to fight over what is wrong and what is rightbecause at last we will see the lightthat our beliefs do not matter.That our actions are all that countthere is nothing to worry aboutjust as long as we live withoutcausing pain or suffering.
I am a canvas,that's all that I am.I've painted myself the best that I can,but the truth is it's lifethat has changed me the most.Every person I've knownstill haunts me like a ghost.Everything that I've done and everywhere I have beenyou can hear in my voice,you can see on my skin. Evey choice that I've made,each opportunity missed,has left it's own marking,it's own little kiss.I've been colored by placesand shaded by time. So which part of myself can I truly call mine?Now who am I really?Which part is me?Without all this paintwho would I be?
Things look like they're changing,
but they are really just the same.
I am still just as lonely,
no one even knows my name.
No matter what I try
I am still just as worthless.
No matter what I do
I still feel just as hopeless.
Bombs exploding in my chest.
My brain is bleeding in my head.
The tears I won't allow to flow
burn like acid down my throat.
My body shakes with all the pain
of these thoughts that mutilate my brain.
I try to make myself appear
as if I'm not being burned alive by fear.
I put a smile on my face and fake
that I've accepted my mistakes,
but inside I can feel my heart
as it's slowly ripping itself apart.
I love and I hate
all of the people in this place.
They’re so full of contradictions
I just don’t think I can take.
If you ever need a hand
you know that they’ll do all they can
just as long as they don’t know
you’re not like them.
They will take you in,
treat you like a friend
though they’ve not known you before
and they’ll not see you again.
If you look deeper you will find
that beneath their kindness lies
violence and prejudice
that they don’t even try to hide.
Depending on your situation
you may find you loathe or admire them.
They do so many evil things
but with such good intentions.
They stand so strongly against
anyone who’s different.
Yet if you fall within their group,
in them you can have confidence.
I just don’t know what to think
of these mixed emotions that they bring.
Should I consider them my friends?
or should I call them enemies?
It seems they have found a way
to somehow always stay
in a strange gray area
between my love and hate.
I was born in the wrong time.
I think that’s why I can’t find
my place in this world.
I really just don’t belong here,
that becomes more clear
to me all the time.
I should have lived in the 60’s
I would have fit in among hippies.
Now I think I’m the only one.
I should have lived in that time
when it was so easy to find
people with compassion.
Today there’s such violence and hate
and all these people I just can’t relate
to in any way at all.
If I could travel into the past
I think I’d find comfort at last
in those who understand me.
When people found meaning in life
they had causes for which they would fight.
Now people are so apathetic.
They loved each other back then.
I think how wonderful it must have been
to feel that connection.
Today everyone feels so alone.
We each face this life on our own,
and it’s just so sad to me.
I want to stand up for what’s right,
but there’s no one to stand by my side.
Why does no one care anymore?
I’ve decided that I want to
cover all of my scars with tattoos.
I’ve decided that from now on
I will make myself brand new,
remove the signs of pain and sadness,
and create a brand new point of view.
Though to all my scars I am quite grateful,
many times I think they’ve saved my life,
I’ve really no more need for them
and I’ve grown sick of trying to hide.
So I’m taking something ugly
that’s a source of insecurity for me
and I’m making something beautiful
that I’ll want everyone to see.
I am going to let my skin express to you
all the things I want to feel inside
and hope that will be a catalyst
to create change in my life.
Each and every time I see these scars
they remind me of old hurt.
If I am ever to heal my emotional wounds,
I’ll have to banish the physical ones first.
I am the inverse of a human being.
I’m not like anyone I’ve ever seen.
I only like the things that bring me pain.
I don’t know how I ended up this way.
Try to make me cry.
Try to make me bleed.
Try to make me suffer
maybe then you’ll see
only when I’m in pain
do I feel relief
from all of these demons
that have been haunting me.
You can keep all your encouragement
and any happy feelings you have sent.
I would rather hear from someone else
who feels the way I’ve always felt.
Give me sadness.
Give me sorrow.
Give me self-destruction
maybe then you’ll know
that all your hopeful words
will only serve to show
that I am out of place
everywhere I go.
So please don’t try to make me smile
or try to make me happy for a while.
Your cheerfulness just underscores
all of the things I’m longing for.
It seems destiny has
conspired against me
to make everything turn out wrong.
It seems all the good things
in life move to quickly
and the bad things always stay too long.
I just can’t understand
why nothing is easy,
why no decision can ever be clear.
And I can’t understand
why it is that I’m always
paralyzed by this deep-seated fear.
Each time I start to think
that my life’s on the right track
something happens that changes my mind.
Each thing that I feel
will at last make me happy
just makes me miserable time after time.
Why do some people
just know who they are
and what they want in life right from the start?
And why do some people
never seem to realize
what they truly desire in their hearts?
I want to find something
that will make me feel better
about who I am and what I have done.
I need to find something
that will help me discover
the person I want to become.
I feel there’s this force
that’s trying to stop me
from ever finding my true place.
It seems that in my
endless quest for fulfillment
I must be defying the fates.
There is no one who knows me
or has the slightest understanding
of anything that’s happening
inside my head.
I wish that I could find someone
who I could trust enough
to tell the honest story of
who I am.
But I don’t know if that can be.
I always search but never see
much of a possibility
that I’ll find that.
I need someone who I can trust
with all my fears and all my love,
who will make me feel that I’m enough
the way I am.
I look around me and I know
if I ever let the real me show
my loneliness could only grow.
They’ll never understand.
I mean really how could they?
We see the same world every day
but to them it will never look the way
it looks to me.
I have tried to be like them.
I’ve made an effort to fit in,
but I could not even begin
to feel at home,
among these people that I knew.
Though my affections for them grew
I could never let myself show through.
They never really knew me.
Though I considered them my friends
I’d have to leave them in the end
or be required to pretend
for all my life.
So I decided not to stay.
I chose to let them slip away.
I never knew just what to say,
so I just disappeared.
Now I fear that I will never find
this sweet fantasy of mine
someone who’ll help me leave all that behind,
so I'll no longer be unknown.
Life’s all about evolution.
I know I’m not who I used to be.
I look at pictures from a few years ago
and I can’t believe that it’s me.
People are constantly changing.
No one ever stays the same
yet we try to fit people into different shaped holes
we think of it like it’s a game.
We seem to think it’s so important
to categorize everyone
saying “he’s one of these” and “she’s one of those”
and we’re left all alone when we’re done.
We should all learn from each other,
help each other become our true selves.
Instead of pretending that we’re all so different
let’s forget all the lies that we tell.
And when we get down to the bottom,
the real truth in it’s purest form,
we’ll find that we’re much more alike than we’re different.
There will be no need to fight anymore.
We’ll know the truth
that we’re all the same.
We’ll see that we
can’t carry on this way.
We’ll put an end
to all our past mistake.
A little understanding
is all that it will take.
Why’s it so hard to accept that
no matter what group they are in
people are people and we all have our faults?
We never know who we’ll be in the end.
So lets all let go of our bias,
give each other a chance to evolve.
Let’s forgive past mistakes and look to the future
and let our hate be drowned out by our love.
Do you believe it is true
that there are just some people who
can never be happy?
I wonder am I incapable of
ever truly feeling wanted or loved
and will I always feel empty?
Is there just something missing in me
that makes it impossible for me to see
the good things in my life?
I can’t seem to find anything that
can ever manage to distract
from the hopelessness I feel.
For the first time in my life
I feel a small bit of freedom
but now I find that I sometimes
miss the prison I came from.
As far back as I can remember
I’ve hated feeling so trapped,
but now that it’s gone
I sometimes want that feeling back.
Now that I’m free
I find I have no excuse
for not doing the things
I always said I would do.
With freedom I’ve found
comes the power to choose
but with each choice that you make
comes the chance that you’ll lose.
With each opportunity comes a new chance at failure.
With each blessing comes another new curse.
To be trapped by circumstance or my own indecision
I can’t decide which one is worse.
When you can see no way out
you make the best of you cage
and you learn to find enjoyment
in the most unlikely place.
When you don’t have a choice
you just do what you have to
and every good thing
seems so much better to you.
Now that I have choices
each one seems so hard.
Trying to decide
feels like being pulled apart.
I know my situation
is much better today,
still sometimes I think
I’d be better off if I’d stayed
in the freedom of captivity.
Just because I seldom speak
doesn’t mean that I don’t think
and worry just as much as you.
Really if you only knew
what it feels like to be me
to see all of the things I see
I’m sure you would be shocked to find,
with all this running through my mind,
I still don’t feel the need to say
every thought I have every single day.
Just because I’m not like you,
telling the world everything I’ve been through
doesn’t mean that I haven’t felt
plenty of sorrow and sadness myself.
You don’t know even one single thing
about the thoughts that I have or the life that I lead.
Think what you want I really don’t care
but don’t talk about me when I’m standing right there
and act like it’s the funniest thing you have heard
to pretend I don’t understand a single word
about trouble or hardship or even simple stress
just because I don’t complain like you and the rest.
You act like I’m just a silly little girl
unaware of the problems that exist in the world,
when in fact I know much more about that than you.
I try to always be aware of the truth
and do what I can to make things improve.
So tell me, just what the fuck do you do?
Do you make any effort to cause things to change?
or do you think it’s enough to sit there and complain?
I’m so sick of hearing how hard your life is
and that it’s unfair how very stressed-out you get,
when all of your problems are so trivial
you never even consider the fate of the world.
My life may not be as complicated as yours,
but I certainly think about existence much more.
I wonder what legacy I’ll leave behind
and if there will ever come a day when I’ll find
a way to make myself believe that I have
the right and the reason to continue to live.
Today a poor sweet
innocent life was lost.
It was by my hand
so I must pay the the cost.
But who understands?
Who will let me confess?
Will anyone tell me
how to repay my debt?
What could possibly equal
the worth of a life?
I have stolen a treasure
that is without price.
How can I express
the intensity of
the regret that I feel?
Nothing could be enough.
What could I have done?
It all happened so fast.
Everything moved so quickly,
I could not react,
but in flashes of memory
I see each detail
a maddening view
of a creature so frail.
In my mind I can see
a look of pure fear
and a small helpless scream
of agony fills my ears.
Cries of “I’m sorry”
that no one will hear
as my face becomes covered
with self-loathing tears.
I think of the terror
that poor creature felt
as I pray for forgiveness
I know I’ll not grant myself.
In an act of atonement
I do what I swore
was something I would
never do anymore.
A memorial and apology
for the life that I took
will be my reminder
every time that I look
at my flesh that’s now marked
a symbol of regret
that will be there always
so I’ll never forget.
I dream of the day
when I will find that place
that finally feels like home to me.
I hope one day I’ll know
just where I should go,
and when I get there it will become clear
that at last I have found
that place I’ve dreamed about
and now everything will be okay.
This sweet fantasy
is what sustains me
it’s what stops me from losing my mind.
Because there must be an end
to this nightmare I’m in,
surely it can’t go on all my life.
When it feels like too much,
like I just can’t rise above
this frustration I feel everyday
I retreat to that lie
that I hold deep inside
and try convincing myself that it’s true.
I hope so much that it is.
Then perhaps I will get
a real chance at the life I long for,
a life filled with love
and all the joy of
an existence with meaning and worth,
and a place I can go
where I’ll always know
that this is where I’m meant to be,
a place of beauty and light
and clear starry nights
a haven where I will feel safe.
Tonight as I fall asleep
I will pray for sweet dreams
of the world I have made in my mind.
can be infinite
when you choose to live
by your heart.
you’re willing to fight
for what you know is right
in your soul,
each and every day
no matter what they say.
You’ll never feel okay
if you don’t.
Never give in
you can’t let them win
just stay the person you’ve been
In a book I read
there was an owl that lived
in a tree that was dead
He was resigned
to the fact he would die
when the tree could not find
strength to stand.
And like that owl
you will find out
that you must stay bound
to your choice.
Ignore the cost
far more would be lost
if your morals you did not
It’s better to
always be true
to what really matters to you
in the end.