I'm tired of being the only one who cares
it's not fair

While im busting my ass
and your just siting around getting high

lie after lie
you leave me in the dark
i make a remark
your response is always a bark

you tell me "its all okay" or "its fine"
but not this time
i won't take it

The love, trust, and friendship we built up
yeah, you break it

the old memories
im reminiscing
on how you WERE
now i can't shake it

it's like you checked out
and left me on the shelf

Your dedication, focus, motivation
remember what you used to be about?

Now all i can do is sit back and clap
as you stumble
because that is what you want
im done pushing you to try
i just sit here, reminisce, and cry

because in the end
its your choices, your life
and no accepted alibi.

lost in the darkness of my mind
you know that dark place in your mind
that makes you think a little too much

with every second i try to escape
from that dark part in my mind
but thoughts get tangled in my mind
and tease my heart

i begin to confuse my thoughts
emotions
actions
this or that

my mind grasps my heartstrings
and tangles them so

oh if my mind would just make itself up
and my heart would mind its own business..

or they could just get along for once.

every second
every minute
every hour
every day
every week
every month
you are on my mind
it seems like there is nothing i live for but you

you say you feel the same
and you insist that you love me more

but the pain of waiting for you to show effort
to see me
be with me
care for me
burns me to the core

and while waiting for you im slowly dying inside
not knowing whether to follow my dreams
or wallow by your side

i have been taught to make a life for myself
one where the happiness comes from within

but when i look for happiness
i look to you

oh how things must change

Sure, next time i'll restrain

i won't go back
lie after lie
i have nowhere to go
no tears left to cry
i ran myself dry
nothing left to give
for what is the reason to even live?
i dont want to die
but this thing we call life
isn't going too right.

Just when you think your problems are mending
the sickness comes back
it's never ending

Struggling to overcome
it sucks away your life
leaving you numb

thinking back to the you that was ALIVE
never faltering with hunger
all you did was strive

Then you fell into the trap
society brings you there
and you may never come back

keep in mind that family, love, support and help is here
and even when you hit the deepest low
there is hope ahead; a path that's clear.

As i sit here and try to be clever
make things rhyme
make the lines linger together in a rhythmic pattern

but the truth is sometimes there is no pattern
no necessity for rhyme
and maybe the words just wont be "GOOD" enough

the words just need to be genuine
heartfelt
sublime
open
closed

however the hell you feel
write it and to someone
it may seem real.

In the actions we take to create a life
that is durable to last heartbreak
that can withstand sadness, fear, and anxiety

We can't find it in ourselves to search
for the help we need
waiting for the time for someone to care

Someone to come speak up and help
take all the anguish away
for we can't fight all our battles and troubles away on our own

sometimes a little help
is better than being left alone

He's digging his grave
with every word and gaze that he throws to the world

It is his fault for what he has suffered
where he has been
living his life in sin

There is a time when "im sorry" isn't too late
he attempts to let those words slide out of his mouth
but those apologetic words don't flow as easily as his sin

where does this end
where does this begin
his problems and sorrows are too big for him to carry

He is like any other man who is walking down that dark alley
booze in hand
a life with no plan

im waking up
to the pieces in my life
that i just cant change

im waking up
to the experiences i've had down the line
that pierce my soul

im waking up
to all the good, bad, and ugly
memories that i must let go

im waking up
and its about time
to step up
and claim whats mine

The bright sunshine pears through the curtains that so anxiously await to be torn open
The promise of the day is piercing in every breath that is given

For what can ruin the beauty of a new day, a new moment?
A new day to live your life anew
Yesterdays mistakes are in the shadows of the past
Today is a chance to move forward at last.

what frightens me in the world today
is that nobody knows
nobody is aware
people are suffering

everywhere

what frightens me in the world today
success in unreachable
nobody is ever happy
we are trapped behind our faults


bring us to the times where
generosity wasn't a surprise
where soft souls walked into our lives
just to simply bring a smile

where in this world today shall we look for happiness
where can we find a path where humility bridges over
the pain
suffering
anguish
loneliness
hunger
death
and the broken hearts of this world

we need to rise up in this new year
bring upon change that inflicts joy
a simple smile

let our resolutions not be for OUR own good
but for the good of OUR surroundings, our neighbors, our enemies

for when you learn to love and wish for the better of your enemies
i believe in that time, you can truly find peace

why why why
wonders the lost girl
as she weeps the tears
of her lost pride

her life is slowly slipping away
a little less of a women
than she was yesterday

her pride is withering
her love is dwindling
she gets on her knees to pray

tethering moments of glory
oh those days
seem so far away

hazy, crazy, shady
her life is
only for today

In the moments that i feel empty
bottomless
broken

Your love gives me new skin
life
breath
devotion

Sometimes distance draws us together
apart
stronger
weak

But being with you in somber moments
strengthens
reminds
pursues

Helping us to strive towards the future
forever
commited
love
devotion

Tis the season
to gather together
where worries fade
dreams grow strong

grins grow wide
love shines bright
family is near
hate is far

tis the season
wherever you are.

Thinking
sitting
hoping
waiting
            praying
            concentrating
            delaying
             fleeting
stress
life
work
death
           breath
            peace
            sleep
             happiness

Her mind is shattered with the insecurity of the future
her jeans are tattered
dreams of tomorrow disappear into the smokey blackened night

she looks ahead with eyes welling from the tears
the fears
the memories
the fate of her tomorrow

rests in her mind
what she brings with
what she leaves behind

she sits by the corner
her hands in fists
her life, her dreams, her night

won't end like this
she walks on

I

          yearn

for
               those

who          

             are

still

                      searching..



for            


  

                  something.

i place all my love into your hands
you are strong for me when i am weak

love for me is foreign and i can't grasp it
the strength one needs to sustain the burdens

you are the strength i have
in the days that i can't find rest

searching for the power to hold
you are around every dark corner

you are what creates my love
what holds my love
what fights for my love
what defends my love

YOU are love.

there is no rhythm in a poem like this
nothing to rhyme
no scheme
or flow

thoughts typed here
come and go
so i might as well type them

before i am


finished

Tears trickle down her cheeks
she never thought she could be so weak

All those irrational thoughts
she thinks to be true

Society expects you to reach perfection
and from that perfection you will receive attention

But behind those fronts that 'they' put on
the emptiness lingers in their souls

never finding a true home
they move on from masterpieces painted by skeletons

society dances in the pits of light
while those true, kind brokenhearted people


continue to try.