I think he stole my heart on the first date
I swear it was his smile, no.
It was fate.

So gentle, but a little rough
He was strong, he was cute, he was tough.
Nothing remarkable, nothing extraordinary.
Just his voice, his eyes, the way he was carried.

A gentleman to the core
I was happy ever more
At least...
Til the day he went away
Something changed and he just wouldn't stay.

I asked why
But never cried.

I accepted my fate, my burden to bear.
He never loved me, he just didn't care.

I assumed it was me; i was wrong
I was unfit, i wasn't right, i wasn't strong.

But he disappeared and i understood.
I didn't like it, and i knew i never would.

He took my heart with him on the ship
Deployment is hard enough, not a fun trip.
It's even worse knowing that he didn't give a shit.

I missed him every day.
I watched the news and i prayed.
I didn't write, i didn't call.
I poured them strong and drank em tall.

I dreamed and i slept
I drank and i wept.

The day finally came when i would give in...
I just had to write him, i had to forgive.

We were friends, we were nice
But i knew that i would pay a price.
My heart torn in two
A half here, a half with his crew.

The feelings never left
My heart never grew
I was saving for him
I was paying my due.

He finally came home eight months to the day
He packed up his things, then he moved away.
The sailor took my heart, but left it at sea.
Not a half for him, not a half for me.

Not a day goes by that i don't dream of his name.
Every day every night, i miss him and his game.
Sailor jerry his rum, sailor jerry my shame.
I never stopped drinking, i never stopped til night came.

I loved him and he cared nothing for me.
I miss him and wish i'd be free.
Nothing will change. Keep things as they are.
I'll drink to his name, I'll wish on every star.

A sailor took my heart. He took my soul.
I wish i had known it would take such a toll...

red flags waving in the wind. caution lights flashing in my head. but i can't stay away, i can't say no. i feel like i'm chasing a dragon; a dream that never was; a vision that i can see, but not feel. i don't know what i would do if i never catch it...but something about the uncertainty keeps me running at full speed.

you wanna know what i think? i think i want to have my cake and eat it, too. i think you're in for quite the let down. see, i wanna raise the bar, but this time, i'm afraid you're as high as it goes. you're perfect in every way. so i'm afraid i just can't commit. cuz after you, where do i go? surely there will be an 'after you'. i'm the type that just can't convince you to stay, but i'll be here...waiting...you're perfect and i'm a killer. remember, i break hearts like candy canes. you're the one i want, but refuse to take. you're mine, i said so. i'm not ready to settle down, but i know i am. and you're my latest victim. don't fall for these eyes. i'm a terrible liar, but i'm getting better all the time. just wait a while, see if it's true. see if what's meant to be is me and you. cuz i'm not ready to commit to anyone but the wind.

hey baby, whisper something savage.
but don't fall for these eyes; they'll be your demise.
a look can lead to so much more,
but don't get caught up in this war.
love is rough and i'm quite deadly.

i break hearts like candy canes, you ready?

you're insane to think that you're the one
i'm in high demand and on the run
excuse me for the rhymin, hun,
but i got places to be, people to see
gotta find a way to have some fun.

so i write a verse,
i say some words,
i hop in bed
mess with your head

do what i say, not as i do
a hypocrite's heart is so confused
i'll do me and you do you
babe, get a clue,
i'm into you.

i break hearts like candy canes, you ready?

i'll pull your hair and bite your lip
take off your shirt, kiss your hip
i'll jump on top and hold you down
kiss your neck and go to town.

you like it, boy?
hands there, eyes here
watch our clothes disappear.

change it up, you on top
i'm beggin now, don't you stop
scratches here, a bite there
a love that only we can share

i'll stop before it gets too graphic
can't fill your head with all this traffic
remember, though, i'm waiting on you
to make a move, give me a cue

next time we're alone, don't be so afraid
i could be the best love you ever made...

don't you leave me with those words
you have the power to change me
just like he did.
but he chose not to and so are you

and now you're left with the burden
of a love never held, a love never lost

believe me when i say you aren't my only one
you're THE only one.
can i bring you home to father?
he'll tell me, "girl, you need to stop living in the dreams of others."

i'll tell you, "boy, if this is a dream, don't ever wake me up."
what did she do to you? why are you this way?
i ask because i can offer a life she can't.
i can give you a heart unbreakable.

i can do the things she won't.
and i'll trust you if you trust me.
just tell me what you want.
tell me you dream of me when you fall asleep.
tell me that when you shut your eyes,
you see my face and hear my name.

no one's charmed me like you, king.
just don't remind me of why i hate your type.

i fall for no one but the bottle
and when i do he sings your name
you're on my mind
don't leave me behind

i never had you, i never will
but it's nice to dream
and wish upon a star
to erase your scars

(i'll kiss your wounds
and trace your pain
with my tongue)

i want to taste your soul
salty , bittersweet
the ocean forged you
and i'm drowning in it

you, son of a mermaid
don't let me die
don't make me cry
but don't you lie.

if you want nothing, let me know
if you want something, tell me now
because i'm tired of screwing things up before they start.

but this is assuming you
wrote those words for me
if not...disregard this
and keep me dreaming.

don't you dare fall in love with me
i'm not the one
i'm not yours
there's so many things i'm not

but

i am the one on your mind
i'm the one you can't forget
i'm the memory you can't supress
i'm the nightmare that wakes you up
i'm  the dream that puts you to sleep
i'm the warmth you feel from the sun
i'm the secret you can't keep; the wish you can't make

i'm the lover you forgot
i'm the girl that changed your world
i'm the fear you keep inside and the anger you yell out
i'm the one for him, but not for you
i'm the one you need, the one you hate to depend on
i'm the girl you wish i wasn't, but i am

this is me.
you know me.
but don't you dare fall in love with me.

i was walking all alone in the dark
and around about midnight on the mark
i saw a big flash and looked up ahead.
a star was shot by in the deep blackest bed.

i thought to myself, what can i wish?
what do i want? what to accomplish?
i had no idea, no desires in mind.
so i wished for happiness for me to find.

not long after, i got to thinking...
how far in this life i must have come.
from when i was child chewing my gum,
i wished for a horse from dad and mum.

and when i was teen, so young and in love,
i wished to be together forever and never apart,
til death do us part in the stars up above
did it come true?
...is the white dove blue?

i should have known
that two and half years
and far too many tears
were only a loan.

i then wished for us
together or apart,
that we should find joy deep in our hearts.

today. now. tonight.
a few minutes ago.
a new man, a new light.
a new world that i know.

i see, i have everything i need.
i want for nothing.
not a horse or steed.
not forever, indeed.

i wished for happiness.
even though,
it already has me in its grasp.
and that, was my midnite wish.

(but i can't tell you because it won't come true)

I want to thank you for all that you did.
Not for the smiles, but for the tears.
I want to thank you, God forbid,
Not for the ring, but for the fears

That you gave to me...
The dream that I thought we could be.
Thank you for the guarantee
That burned me to the third degree...

Without you, I never would have learned.
I never would have been concerned.
I never would have made the turn
To change my life towards what I yearn.

You broke me clear in two
You lied to me, sure and true
You turned my red heart blue
Where ice and strong hate grew.

You seized my innocence
With so much diligence
And so much sense
That I simply had no defense.

Years later, I've changed.
I took a risk to arrange
A life apart; a life estranged;
Alone? A tough exchange.

I was lost, but now I'm found
Away from you, homeward bound.
This newest one is surely crowned,
Not with horns, but a halo sound.

He's not like you, thank the Lord
He's honest, worthy, and so much more.

So I want to thank you.
Because you damaged my soul,
I learned to cry.
I was able to feel pain.
I was able to feel hurt.

Because you broke me,
Like the wildest mustang,
I was able to learn and grow.
I was able to love

So much more.

your breath is cold, cold, cold
but why?
aren't you human, like me?

your hands are smooth, smooth, smooth
but how?
don't you work, like me?

your heart is pure, pure, pure
but who?
who have you met that hasn't injured you?

you are an angel.
don't let me get too close.
i might get some tarnish on your halo.

(but come closer.
rub some of those sins off on me)
i'll take the blame and all the pain,
all for you, to keep your angel name.

winter is a time
of cold feet, cold shoulders,
and dormant hearts.

what are you afraid of?
you do not like paths
laced with ice?
what of the wind,
and naked tress?

dress them.
winter is a time
of cold feet, cold shoulders,
and much-dormant hearts.

how many diamonds do i have? babe, i eat them like candy. give me something that lasts forever. your undying love? no. because it's not good enough. give me memories and and battle scars. give me good times and tears. nothing more and nothing less.

so life goes on and i can go days without thinking of your name.
life goes on and i can go weeks without having a memory of you.
but remember the day we walked around the field by your house?
it was super hot, but i wanted to see the cows or bison or whatever.

also, remember the day i cried on your couch?
i bet you remember the reason, too.
i'll give you a hint: happy tears.

so life goes on and i can go months without thinking of you.
life goes on and when i do, i have conflicting views.
remember when we danced in the rain?
your mother was shocked, but thought it was cute.
i still have that picture of both of us.

also, remember when we cried in your house?
it was just us two.
i forget the reason, but it was enough to tear me up.
don't cry.

so life goes on and i can go hours without recalling your memory.
life goes on and i ask, remember how we used to hang out everyday?
we made life plans and played zelda.
what happened?

also, remember the nights we drove around for hours?
a different city every night.

so life goes on and i often forget you.
life goes on and i feel guilty.
you brought such light into my life

and i tend for remember only the darkness.
you taught me so much and i secretly thank you.
you have so much more room to grow
that's why i left, you know.
as much as i would love to, i couldn't wait for you.

remember the nights we spent at the house?
surprisingly, i do.
you were wonderful.
i know you loved me.

so life goes on and i finally recall your artwork.
life goes on and i don't remember the few times i had with you.

neither of us could drive.
remember the day you saved my life?
well, maybe not. but it felt like it.
remember when i collapsed as you were leading me?
i was scared. were you?

also, i still have a birthday card you gave me
many years ago...

so life goes on and i'm glad i'm over you.
life goes on and our time was short, but the pain was bitter.
remember when i worked at southland?
i hope you find joy in your marriage.
this is vague and that's what i want.
anonymity.

i wish peace and love come to you.
and success, as well.

so life goes on and i don't want to stop thinking about you.
life goes on and i know.
the times we had were worth any pain our relationship has or has not brought.
this goes for all.

don't tell me what happened. cuz i don't wanna know.
there's a reason the past is the past.

for you all, i'm ok.
for you all, i'm a stronger person.
i love you.
i miss you.
i wish nothing but happiness to you and yours.

i hope you get what you deserve...whatever that may be.
but who is there to judge what you deserve?

i'm just a lazy being, i guess.
i'm living life and you're living yours.
we're busy, i know.
it's ok.
life goes on; we're ok.

Winter, winter, where art thou winter?
Here you are! How I love you, so!
I hate the wind and sleet and hail,
But snow and sunshine do prevail.

You make me smile and breathe and be
I'm so glad you came for me.
Winter, winter, where art thou winter?
Why are you leaving so soon?

You were with me for a long time,
but now you must go.
I was a fool to call you mine,
Oh, how I love you so...

it's been awhile since i felt your touch
thank god i don't need it quite as much
as i seem to need
the impossibility, the instability
of the life i feed

sixty hour weeks and i feel so tired
school and work, as required
chill me out, babe
take me down, misbehave

let's go somewhere. i know this place
back in the woods, around the space
the trail runs through, me and you,
we should stay the whole night through.

don't mind the dark, it lightens up
the moon is here to brighten up
but down we'll be, beneath the trees
you and me, the modest breeze.

the temp is cool and right
the intensity of this night
is one we'll remember forever.

There's a boy I know and love.
He's near and far and kind.
He's all I've ever dreamed of.
There's a boy who's on my mind.

His eyes are a deep brounette.
His hair; a soft whisper.
I'm glad the day we met,
T'was the day my heart grew bigger.

I was alone, lost, and forlorn.
Then he came along
And without a shout or warn...
He righted all the wrongs.

He's here close by my side
Each and everyday.
I have a boy who's on my mind.
He's changed my life in every way.

Dear Uncle Lee. It's been years and years since I've seen your face.
In fact, I barely remember it. I miss you.
Why didn't I get to know you?
Why didn't you stay here?
I know it wasn't your choice to die, but it really makes me sad.
We could've had so many wonderful memories together as big, happy family.
Do you miss us down here? Cuz we sure miss you.
Do you come to visit? Cuz I feel things that seem like you.
I miss you, Uncle Lee. I wish you were here to see me grow up.
I love you, Uncle Lee. And I know Dad does, too.
Goodbye.

i don't like blue eyes on my guys
but his hold shards of beautiful ice

i don't like short hair either
but his is soft as my horse's fur

his body is smooth, but well-toned
and in the proper places

his laughter make me smile with every breath
his arms are so so strong, but the most gentle

i love his back and shoulders and neck;
as odd, as that may sound.

i love his voice and the way he talks to me
i love his legs and the way he wraps them around me

i like everything about this new kid
i hope he likes everything about me.
i hope this goes somewhere.

Your words astound me
Not what you say, but how you say them
So earnestly
So peacefully, but with confidence
I trust you

Nothing sounds as right as when you say my name
When we’re lost, but found together
We are beings of contradictions, don’t you see?
In and out all at once, but feeling and sensing atoms in the air.

When the skies come down I’ll be here for you
I’ll shield you from the pain and sacrifice myself
If only to save you. If only you.

You don't know how much you mean to me.
You are strong and I am not.

But alas, I see your weakness as I begin to strengthen.
I see your chains while my bonds are broken.

I feel your sadness and I pray to help
But what good is prayer for an agnostic?

Oh, boy. I need you every day whether we talk or not.
You keep me sane and help me to make good choices.
Although, my choices as of late have not been ideal.

People make mistakes.
Learn from mine.
Live a little
Love a little.
Relax.

Life is good.
Especially when you have a friend by your side.

I love you so much.
But I don’t know exactly who you are
A combination of all my favorite people!
Or a question of who I truly want.

Your eyes are so beautiful
Your body is perfect.
Your hair; as soft as the breeze
Your kisses relax me.

Your gentle laughter brightens my day
Your obnoxious laughter makes me giggle; I know it’s just you now.

Your arms are strong enough to hold me forever.
Your touch is gentle enough to put me to sleep.

When I hear your voice, I fall in love all over again
You don’t realize how much I need you.
I need you like a bird needs wings or a tree needs roots.
Sure, birds can walk, but it’s just not the same.
Yes, trees can lie down; but can’t you see they’re dead?

I’ll never stray from you.
I’ll stay near as long as you’ll have me.
I’ll be here as long as you need me; if you need me at all.
You, though, I feel like you don’t need me.
I feel like you need someone, but it’s not me.
I wish it could be me. I don’t know how to make that happen.

Your advice gets through to my core.
I listen, I truly do.
The sincerity in your voice astounds me
You really are a nice person; you mean no harm.

I would do anything for you.
Anything at all.
You have been with me through thick and thin no matter what.
You are my best friend.
You are my lover.
You are my therapist and my conscience.
You are my co-workers and my family.
I love you so much.