Working at the amusement park is a grand old time.
There’s nothing like having to hide
In the ticket booth when you wanna smoke a joint
So your boss doesn’t find out and fire you.
Every ride has bright, multicolored lights
And this is how I waste my time away.

The closest bathroom is half a mile away,
Those Porta-Johns are full all the time
And always smell like Marlboro Lights
It’s where those teen brats like to hide.
A kid always asks for another toy gun from you
And immediately bends it all out of joint.

Jocks, barbies and snotty kids mill around this joint,
Throwing all their money away
Buying more and more tickets from you
Screaming, complaining, cheating all the time
And there’s no good place to hide
With all these obnoxious lights.

They’re poor substitute for big city lights,
They only illuminate this cheesy joint,
Don’t even let dirty gutters hide—
I’m surprised they don’t want to look away.
Cotton candy disappears in your mouth every time,
But you think it’s worth it, don’t you?

The only boy who ever liked you
Works across the park, beyond the lights,
But you miss him waving at you every time
Because some skeez is yelling, “Let’s blow this joint!”
And a mom drags her eight kids away
Screaming, “One more word and I’ll tan your hide!”

Why do the five-year-olds always play hide
And seek in the Fun House? “Hey, you!”
Where the hell are your parents? Go away!”
Finally Anna, who manages mini golf, lights
A gloriously white-papered little joint
And we smoke until closing time.

This is where I hide, and yet these lights
Are poor substitutes you know, for home, the joint
You tried to get away from, before you wasted your time.

The glint
in Miss Jessel’s hair
was so simple, so quick,
that I almost missed it,
like an answer to a riddle.
Suddenly, I cared about derivatives
even less.
So casual, how she tossed her strands,
and yet how cleverly she caught me.

It wrapped me up tight
in a cotton memory
of home, when I was nine,
beneath a fort of pillows
and hiding from the night.
Her glint of blonde hair now
was the light from my hall then
that peeked through my door
to tuck me in.

My parents’ shadows
walked across my bedroom wall
and I saw them in her hair
now, as if my past were a part of her body.
My father’s silhouette from twelve years ago
snuck in to Miss Jessel’s hair
as if he were going to bed
down the hall
in the nape of my teacher’s neck.

I live in a box
Full of yellowed papers
And a kitchen half-painted
Viridian green.

My little house
Always smells of your coffee
Because tea for one
Is lonely in the morning.

I draw the curtains sometimes
And crawl in that queen-sized bed,
Confessing all my secrets
Beneath our tent of sheets.

If they could bottle you
I would add a slice of lime
And drink you dry,
My Communion.

I come home each night
Carrying you across the threshold,
And we play hide and seek
From the world outside.

There’s never been a man like Grandpa Hayes
‘Cause all the tales about him must be true:
Broke sixteen horses less’n seven days
And stole the Rancher’s girl in only two.
He lived for eighty years ‘cause he was skilled,
An expert shot who never came out worse.
His .32 was from a man he killed
The only one who’d ever shot him first.
A family curse what made him ride so fast
‘Cause lightnin struck his daddy graveyard dead
They say it turned his uncle into ash
And then it got his cousin in the head.
So Grandpa spent his life outrunnin clouds
Just lookin for a truth he never found.

I slip my tender toes into your familiar bind,
your pink laces twist up my legs
and animate me.

En pointe, my toes are perched upon their boxes,
and your silken arms embrace my ankles
as if I walk on nothing.

Fuetes swing you around and I am a circus ride,
turned into painted porcelain,
a spinning doll.

I spend months with you, scuffing your soles, tearing your cloth,
burning your laces, stretching your lips.
We become old.

One day they will put us both in a tiny fabric box,
only to spin when it opens, only to dance
at the soft tinkling of a bell.

Her hands were small, pruned,
looked clammy, very cold perhaps
with purple seeping up through
her tiny nails.

She twisted the ring on her left third finger
round and round, deftly,
as if she had been doing it for years.
The small diamond awoke in the dim light,
like a beady eye from a dark forest.

What she rethinking everything?

She looked up suddenly,
pulled hard on the brake cord yelling
"Stop!"
and flew out into the night the second the bus
came to a pause.

I heard it
just before my campfire
slowed, oddly calm--
the howl seared my peace
from an unknown distance.

I could see it in the trees;
the nervous leaves shivered,
lost their snow,
perhaps wishing me to flee.

But the howl cut into my ears
and huddled there,
its feet scratching,
its fur bristling--

I shook my head free
but its breath smothered me,
hot, rank, ripe with waiting
impatiently.

An angry wind shoved the trees
and jostled the crowd of yelling leaves
urging me, run run
but the howl was all I knew--

Suddenly, I could taste what the howl wanted:
smooth fur and malleable flesh
that falls apart in its captor's teeth
before it knows to writhe,
simple, easy, like biting into a peach
and I savored the metallic tang of conquest.

His love was a sort of
branch of the heart,
forever reaching,
with rough bark that
chafed the skin
and precious, sticky sap that
ran beneath the buds.
When it stormed,
its petals plastered the ground,
a dewy, soggy mess,
and prettied up the mud.
Until winter, and the weight of snow, when
it cracked, tore, broke
and fell without a sound.

True, their marriage had far beyond ripened,
it had aged with the great city.
But that majesty was dashed
when the emperor's wife
had the veil--lifted from her eyes,
much like it had been years ago,
to find her leader
with that Young Woman,
whose eyes still bore the veil of
Stupidity.

The wife ran from the room, unseen,
to rejoin the flowers, the setting sun,
still thankful
for at least her own wisdom.

When I saw him in class he had his head bent down
In the farthest corner of the room
With a leather coat and a crooked smile
That was all I needed to swoon

He’s not a jock or the lead in the play
But he’s got a Harley and he swept me away
And the girls all think they can get to his heart
But they don’t even know where to start

(‘Cause all they know is)
That he looks so fine, yeah he looks so fine
But they don’t know that he’s already mine
Yeah he picked me out from the misfit crowd
And someday we’re gonna get outta this town
He looks so fine, he looks so fine
And the time we spent was sublime

When he asked me to prom all the girls were surprised
They watched as he looked me right in the eyes
How silly that they thought they stood a chance
To get him to take them to the dance

He knocked on the door at 7:04
I answered in a periwinkle dress
And he smiled at me in a new black tux
(What a fox!)
And you can guess the rest

(‘Cause all you know is)
That he looks so fine, yeah he looks so fine
And now you know that he’s already mine
Yeah he picked me out from the misfit crowd
And someday we’re gonna get outta this town
He looks so fine, yeah he looks so fine
And the time we spent was sublime

Death is a thing unsatisfied
That creeps into the hall.
He taps you on the shoulder—then,
You smell the urging Gall—

He pulls you back into the Dark—
You hear the final Bell.
The Beast will celebrate the night
As he drags you to Hell.

He steals you from your ill-spent life,
What man cannot—he takes—
You lose the light, the air—yet win
The promise of your Fate—

For once your soul is trapped below,
He rises yet again—
To wrap the hall in Dust—and hide
The footsteps where you’ve been.

It’s not enough to move a rug
To cover up your Stain—
So Death performs his spotless job
And feasts on your remains.

The gnat upon my letterpress
Truly cannot sense
How far apart the world it knows
Is from gods and men.
It sits upon my novel
Walks across the page
The words of Charlotte Bronte
Have become its stage.
And yet it knows of nothing
More than eat and sleep
But it crept across her knowledge
And now is in her keep.

So I cannot say "I love you"
One more time
Those words, they taunt me
For they do not rhyme

I'm through with words
And they with me
I'll still my lips
And finally speak.

Here, my love
Are the only words
That can be said
They rhyme, they dance
Let them float over your head

Listen to the whispering wind
"Peace"
Hear the calling flock of wren
"Free"

Feel the tides around your feet
"Steady, strong"
Feel the way your heart can beat
"The sweetest song"

Look up to the sun at noon
"Heat"
See the whitest, fullest moon
"Complete."

I cannot say "I love you"
One more time
Those words, they can't explain
As well as mine

I'm through with words
And they with me
I'll close my eyes
And you'll finally see

That here, my love
Are the only words
That can be said
They rhyme, they dance
Let them float over your head

You have shown me
"Peace"
You have made me
"Free"
With you, I am
"Steady, strong"
Together, we make
"The sweetest song"
I need your
"Heat"
For you, my love, have made me
"Complete."

What is choice?
I did not decide
to meet you.
What is fate?
Could I have been destined
to need you?

Can there be
no maybes?
No gray
between black
     and
white --
(Abyss between the cliffs,
the nothing between everything)
-- Only "will," and "won't,"
never "might."

My mother, my brother:
Is it fate the love they give me,
and choice I hand it back?
Is it unteachable, unbreakable,
the bond within a pack?
And what of love found later on
that seems of greater worth?
Could the prophetic mistress, Fate,
grow this love and that at birth?

Is it only fate to love the ones
   you?
    raised
Who
And choice to love the one
   you?
    lifts
Who

So is it choice or is it fate?
There can be nothing in between.
Yet somehow,
though I did not choose to meet you,
or fall in love that day,
I would not have it another way.

No in between...?
I feel I have found the gray,
the twilight between night and day,
the little nothings in the everything
that make it all worthwhile.

It's in between introductions
and forever spent together
It's in between the sheets,
the covers of an album.
It's in between our smiles.
The in between is what we love --
What we live--
-- Whether choice or fate --
It's the bridge over abyss.
It's the love that stops your falling.
A second, a year, a look, a kiss.

This idea of choice, of fate,
it's unimportant, obsolete.
It matters only
What lies in between.

I can see you from all the way up here
The sun is bright
I forgot how right
You feel

It's been too long since I held you
There's not a cloud in sight
And I just might
Fall down
In love with you
All over again

And once the roots end
Another set begins
And the branches cascade above
As you walk further
Into the forest of my endless love

Keep walking
I'll never leave
I'm above you, I'm below you
I'm the branch, I'm the root
I'm the swing that
Was always made for two

There's a tree for every
Forever
A branch for every glance
A leaf for all the laughter
And endless sunlight
To grow an endless romance

And once the roots end
Another set begins
And the branches cascade above
As you walk further
Into the forest of my endless love.

Always forward turning
Past, present, future
All dizzy and blurred
The only thing I see
That stays so steady
Is your face,
     spinning with mine.

I can't tell you what a blessing it is
To have you
As a compass.

Thornless vines wrap us together
Neither of us fighting
It's a constraint I welcome,
For when I am alone
I am lost.

If we were pulled apart
And pulled away
Know you could find me
By my weeping.

It is when I am silent
That you should worry
For I might have passed.
Drowned, suffocated.
For the only air I breathe
Is yours.

The biting wind combs through my hair;
The salty water stings,
The crashing waves soak through my jeans;
The sun on seagulls' wings.

A shark's tooth swims below the waves,
It settles on my toe.
I snatch it up before the waves
Can send it back below.

I learn the tooth, each groove, each edge,
So small, the blackest black
I hold it tight, can't let it go,
I cannot throw it back.

A hunter great did own this tooth,
So many battles fought.
The tooth of such a great white shark,
The king that can't be caught.

He left his mark, his legacy
Amid our human air.
Born three million years ago,
His only bone his only heir.

If I could ever be so great
To win such endless worth,
I'd want to leave my token, just
To leave my mark on earth.

The shark, he wanted just the same
He's gone, his tooth's with me
His spirit should be kept alive
So I gave his tooth back to the sea.

The Lion and the Warthog

A lion fierce, and proud, and cruel
Once led the largest pride.
They hunted well, starvation scarce,
The fear spread far and wide.

A warthog aged with years and fears,
Knew something must be done.
This hunter, killer, must be stopped,
So a clever plan he spun.

The warthog saw the lion pride
Hunting flocks of sheep.
"I bet you can't cross River Wide
With just one solid leap."

The lion swelled with pride and roared,
"You speak a foolish lie!"
He'd never done it once before,
But he'd been challenged; he must try.

Said warthog, "If you cross it now,
I'll let you eat me whole.
But if I cross without a scratch,
Here you'll hunt no other soul."

The lion leaped for River Wide,
And splashed into the waves.
He climbed back up and dried himself,
His pride, he could not save.

The warthog's turn had come at last;
He pushed a broken tree.
It fell across the River Wide,
He walked across with glee.

"There, you see, you'll hunt no more;
Your pride has you in bind.
It's brave to leap the River Wide,
But braver yet to use your mind."

I know what lots of people think
I know just what they say
I hear them talk behind my back
I hear them every day

But no one really knows who I
Or anyone can be
If all they do is criticize
The part of me they see

There's more to me than dull, gray eyes
And bushy, ugly hair
I know I'm short with crooked teeth
And I don't really care

If all you see is ugly me
Then look deeper inside
Look into my innerself
And see just what I hide

I always envied all the girls
With popularity
The girls with perfect shining eyes
I fumed with jealousy

Even though they laughed at me
And called me certain names
I still dreamed to be like them
For this, I was insane

'Cause why on Earth should I regret
That I don't look like them?
I like myself and how I look
On the outside and within

Anyone that laughs at girls
Less beautiful than they
Should come to see their hearts of black
Are worse than eyes of gray

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words won't break my pride
'Cause when we're dead our body's gone
And we're left with what's inside.

So I've fallen in love
And it is beautiful
The leaves are greener
Red, orange, oh
What a cold morning
I don't mind
'Cause I can still feel you around me
And oh,
How I shine.

I have to find
More ways
Than "always"
More colors
In the light waves
I have to find
A sky of stars
With blazing flames
As bright as ours
I have to find
A word for love
That says it stronger
Our own forever
That lasts much longer.

I have to show you
Why my heart beats your name.

Your soft words
Pump through my veins
Your smile
Can stop the rain
Your heart
I can't believe it's mine
And oh,
How I shine.

So I've fallen in love
And I am alive
For the first time
In a lifetime.