It's a hot summer day,
The rays beaming down
And much to my surprise,
I see clouds building far away
Filling up the cloudless skies

When was the last time
I stood in the rain?
It's really been far too long...
The soft caress of water on skin,
Nature singing a glorious song

It's getting darker now
The clouds gather in force
As the wind begins to blow
The birds flutter quickly from tree to tree
Preparing for God's little show

I take down my hair
Kick off my boots
Feel the earth breathe a sigh of relief
I pray for myself, the crops and the pond
This storm is anything but brief

A drop falls from the sky
And lands on my cheek
First one, then two, then three,
Suddenly its raining, pouring,
And there's no where else I'd rather be

For I'm standing in
a sweet summer rain,
The kind that only comes once a year
It cleanses my heart, washes my soul
And I know there is nothing to fear

A bag full of water
Little goldfish swim around
Nudge the bag, explore your world
Tell me all that you have found
Let me know your in there 
Little nudges, little kicks
Let me see those acrobatics
Show me all your tricks
You are my little goldfish
With tiny little feet 
Little arms
Little legs
I can't wait for us to meet

Little one inside of me
I can't wait to hear your coos
Little one inside of me 
I can't wait to share the news
Little one inside of me, 
Keep growing, don't give up
Little one inside of me
We love you very much
Little one inside of me
In just a few weeks time
The doctors will come in
Tell me everything's just fine
Little one inside of me
You are on your way
And when you get here, 
my sweet baby, 
I'll be here for you
Forever and always

Though you are troubled,
do not  be defeated by this plight,
for even the birds sometimes sing,
in the deepest, darkest of nights,

There is a song of hope,
even in the absence of light,
when the world seems its darkest,
is when dreams take flight,

For when you are tired,
down and careworn,
in the core of your mind,
budding new thoughts will form,

They will relieve you of your worries,
your doubts and your fears,
A new day will arrive,
and dry out your tears,

And as the new day is born,
and the night fully passes,
your torn, tattered spirit,
will rise from the ashes,

Strong and eduring,
new trials will appear,
but now you know
never to fear,

For there is a litte phoenix in all of us

Metal on metal,
        screeching and loud
                                                                  into my body
                                                             the other car plowed


    tossed one way
and then yet another

In this moment, I know...
I know I will suffer

    my forehead cracks the window
                    one fracture,
                                   two,

glass flies through my view

eyes closed begging for reprieve
the car comes alive
it cuts and it cleaves

Just like that it's over
and I'm looking at the stars
don't even ask me how I got this far

or where the car went...
i close my eyes
and pray the answer to my prayers be heaven sent

and soon...
please come soon....

Emaciated, I examine the mirror
Realize nothing is as it seems
Disorder is a dirty word to me
It haunts my waking dreams

The men in white coats with clipboards
They silently discuss, nod, and both agree
It haunts my waking dreams...
Disorder is a dirty word to me

I'm tired of being chained by meds
I'm tired of all these schemes
Disorder is a dirty word to me
It haunts my waking dreams

I start flushing the pills away
Try my best to appear cheery
It haunts my waking dreams
Disorder is a dirty word to me

And yet although I "feel fine"
My moods still go to extremes
Disorder is a dirty word to me
It haunts my waking dreams

You say your my friend,
but you never call,
you say that you love me
as you watch me fall,
you say that you care
as you turn your back,
all the lies from your mouth
they don't mean jack...

don't expect my friendship back.

I'm done.

Run away
Far away
Become somebody
New

Leave yourself
Your life behind
You have so much more
To do

You are not bound
By this evil past
that haunts and follows
You

So run away my dear
Escape into a life
You never dreamed of
Never knew

I take a deep breath
I'm stressed to my core
My ex fiance keeps following me
begging me for something more
Though I once loved him,
I have to stand my ground
there is no forgiveness
for all the things I found
We can never move on
we can never be the same
this is something I must accept
and he is the one to blame
so when I face him today
I'll make it very clear
that our time has come and gone
the end of "us" is near.

Right and wrong parallel each other
And sometimes intersect
Sometimes one is better than another
For each I have respect

It is all about perspective
They serenely say
Well I disagree, I believe
There are areas of grey

Sometimes good people do bad things
And bad people do good things
After all we are all human
All have a soul the same

Does a line have to be drawn
To separate one from the other
Or can we view them as one in the same
Each each others brother

Nobody is perfect
Every rose has it's thorn
Everybody has a secret
Everyone a bit careworn

So next time you are quick to judge
Remember this simple fact 
The world does not live
In shades of white and black

Leaves cascade around me
Like the memories in my head
Some of them so painful
They are better left unsaid

There's a chill in the air
Its not quite cold just yet
As the autumn breeze blows
I wish I will get amnesia
And just forget

Forget the way you held me
Forget the way you lied
Forget the good things 
With the bad
Bury it deep down inside

I may seem "dead" right now
Just like all the trees
But I will grow back stronger
Grow up with some new leaves

Even though you're gone now
Here I still remain
Ill see you in the spring
After I am over the pain

His breath on my skin
his hand on my heart
his devilish sin
his poisonous dart

that pierced my body
made me toxically ill
paralyzed my mind
against my will

He left me here
angry and alone
wondering what happened
unable to move a bone

and yet, i miss him
despite all the pain
my senses are dim
as my soul is aflame

How did this happen
his arid dejection
I gave him my all
my every affection

Obviously it didn't mean
as much to him
as it did to me

I miss you
deeply
truly
but

I feel I'm not allowed

I need space
completely
empty
but

I really don't know how

To be alone
physically
mentally
is

seemingly
unbearable

All around me there is nothingness
Little to be seen or heard
Only me sitting by myself
Needing but one kind word
Except I've chosen this exile

And I will remain Alone

Tear streaks line her face
Darkness fills her eyes
In her secret place she holds herself
And cries for all his lies
She misses his gentle laugh
How he asked about her day
Even the things she hated 
She loved in some small way
But he wasn't worth her trouble
Not even worth the time
Without his darkness shrouding
her she will now surely shine.