UntitledYour muse was broken bone and cracked spirit but that never quite fit right, did it? Like a smoldering flame that only existed in the corner of your eye- ceasing existence when you turn posed with a bucket of water. Then one day the word atom stuck and you could feel the particles on your skin turn towards the word like the energy it resonated was a kiss from mother's familiar lips. You molded the word into cracked spirit, lonely body, lone mind, liberated soul, and finally whole woman and eventually your eyes stopped seeing gold lining and began fading and now your pen posed over paper reaches anticlimatic endings like whole bodies running towards each other in ecstacy but failing to touch. Words fall from your fingertips but without a muse they don't carry any weight. You're violating laws of physics with your massless words, dear. Loneliness, depression, loneliness, independence, loneliness, self-love, loneliness, self-doubt- how many times can you repeat words before they begin to escape the laws of meaning. A language of gibberish born from your lonely ramblings. When the universe sends you a placeholder next to your body, he will drown in your words and will have to leave to save his soul. That's the only outcome, darling.
There is anger in the air.The wind is rampant- each breath angrier than the last, molten desire swirling, churning rage diving into aching lungs and rattling old bones. Waking dormant ghosts- too long since a haunting, body unsettled, skin too afraid for revolution, the wind is rampant. / The night could have been symphony. The night could have been tired, excited, cold crescendo- movement for the ages, leaving audience breathless, ravaged, robbed, pitiful, burning. But the wind is howling with rage and no harmony or melody was emitted last night and the audience slept soundly in their beds while concert hall laid empty and silent- the wind is rampant still. Howling still. / The coffee is a peaceful body, unlike hostile skin and bones lined with anger- the coffee is momentary creation then years silent. It is Sunday morning ritual, filtered sunlight dancing on coffee table, gentle melody over gentle soothing tongue- but the wind is too rampant and coffee too dark and mouth too bitter and bed too empty and symphony too silent for Sunday morning ritual.
An Honest PleaThese bones cannot bring themselves to love just yet. The skin draped across this body has yet to find it’s proper position, constantly shifting as if displaced. My heart is 2 inches too far to the left, and I can hear the scraping of muscle against bone with each step I take. My lungs are far too shriveled and haven’t stretched to their great capacity since my first gulp of air. My body is shrinking within itself and a body that is fading from existence cannot be loved. / I want to be ****** back into place. I want someone’s lips to force my soul back into its deteriorating body. I want his body pressing against mine until our hatred and fear cloud the lines between my body and I am no longer concerned with the space we occupy. I want soft sounds to echo from his mouth again and again and again until I have scientifically proven that my body is a solid form that can elicit emotion from another body. I want to feel his pounding hard, writhing form, panting body under mine until my bones can’t hear the sound of their weakness anymore. I want to be ****** until my heart is ****** back to it’s place, my lungs are stretched past their capacity to the point of pain, my bones are broken and regrown in stronger form, my eyes are torn from the inside of my body and forced to see the blurring lines of the exploding universe, my atoms are pushed closer together until my solid form cannot be denied. I want someone’s body to teach mine that it can be wanted in the most obscene, terrifying ways. Maybe then, I’ll forget that shame and hatred have interwoven themselves through my atoms, forcing me to believe that I am not and will never be whole.
Wet paint. Do not touch.Do not touch. / Do *not* touch. / Do not dare spoil this flawless property, now reborn with a fresh coat of vibrant color. Do not let your fingers dance along the surface, smearing the paint and allowing the grimy former coat underneath to show. You are not a blessing to this structure, you are a curse. You will tear away the new skin, allowing the dark poisoned layer to dominate this body once again. This structure has not been waiting for you, it has been waiting for liberation from the skin that has confined it for so long. After so many years, it has been given the chance to remake itself, to be vibrant, to be free, to be loving, to be adequate, to be extraordinary. Do not ransack its new-found independence.