I wonder if you really love me
Or if your using me to have someone
To love you to no end
I can't tak this anymore
I'm wasting my time
Pulling my hair out
Worrying if you're ok
If I'm the person you fell for
Or the ghost you can play with
I'm sorry but it's over
I'm done wasting time
I need to focus on true friends
I was never anything to you
So today you become nothing to me

A black rose
Lain across thier coffin door
Pedals are withered
Thorns are dull
Leaves are gone
Blew away on the whispering breeze
In honor of the dead
I present this rose
Death and decay have kissed its beauty
Now even more beautiful
As it slowly falls apart
Like thier mothers and fathers
Crying tears of sorrow and relief
Knowing they are gone is devastating
Knowing they no longer
Have the cancer eating at your insides
Like pirahnas in your viens
Or having to fight a war
Waged for the most redundant reasons
In honor of the dead
I cry no tears
I simply salute them
My friend you are gone
Yet never shall they be forgotten
I present them this black rose
Red still dressing the outlines of satin pedals
Like blood on cotton sheets
In honor of the dead
I'll carve monuments with blank faces
Unknown men and women
Still missing after years of searching
So many have suffered
In honor of the dead
I'll carve my tears in the form of roses
On every headstone
In honor of the dead
I whisper lullabies in the moonlight
Sing songs of joy
Dance with thier ghost
As pedal tears fall from my eyes
In honor of the dead
I present this black rose
Red still dressing the outlines of satin pedals
Fortunate to be kissed by the lips of death
Blessed with the numbing of thier pain
Honored to rest weary bones

Somebody out there save me
I sent a message in a bottle
Poured all my emotions into it
And I think it sank to the depths
I just want somebody to help me
I can't stay on this deserted island
I'm no Robison Crusoe
I have no intention of being the depressed version of Gilligan
I'm tired of being an outcast
Shadowed by everyone
I want my own spotlight to stand in
I want to fight with the stars
So I can bath in the blessed moonlight
I can't fight the universe
But a poem a day
Keeps the pain away
Right?
S.O.S
I need some help
I can't find it
The water supply is running out
The timber on this land
Doesn't exist
I'm sinking into a bloody pool
That covers three quaters of the Earth
I need solid ground
Not cave-ins at the slightest touch
Please anybody out there
Help me
Save me

From me

The only tears I want to wipe away
Is my own
But they don't come without a price
I have lost so much already
Nothing really phases me
I could watch the world crumble
No remorse
I could strip life from innocence
And no tears shall fall
Is it because I have become oblivious
To what I have become
Due to the lust I have felt
Of not feeling anymore pain
Or is it the lust for a tear to fall
From desert eyes
I just need one
Whether it be blood
Or acid
One tear to fall from my vacant depressed eyes
Will make it easier for me to cope
With these bottled emotions
Because I can't throw them into the sea
I will be the only thing to drown

Three shots down the hatch
Burning as it goes down
I'm a dragon
Breathing fire upon your nasal cavity
Sweet whiskey stench on my breath
Still drunk from the previous night
Maybe I had to much
Salud
I'll take another one
Pass out
Finally get the sleep I need
Maybe this is just a dream
Because I don't taste
The sweet, sweet whiskey
On my lips

Jokes on you
I told you to hold tight
Onto this love I offered you
But you abandoned it
One month into it
Jokes on you
I'm not giving you a second chance
I will not give anyone a second chance
So I'm laughing at you
Because you're on your knees
Begging me for another chance
Sorry :)
I'm engaged
I'm not fucking this up
Because she accepts me for me
And hasn't given up on me

I surrender
I tap
I give up
I quit
All this bullshit
I need to rest
This fight I cannot take
My knuckles are bruised
My bones are creaking
My burdens are to heavy
Please I quit
I'm calling it quits on life
Bye. Adios. Chao. Au revoir.

First glance my heart stopped
As my eyes lingered
My lungs began gasping for air
As my voice slurred out the words
Adreishka...I...l.love...y.you
You left me speechless
My love
You are the only thing
This world offered me
That was actually perfect
My heart plays rhythms for you to dance to
My soul sings songs for you to relax with
My body becomes your castle for you to be safe
My love
You left me speechless
Adreishka...I...l.love...y.you!!

Why are you broken
Gasping for air
Beating to a silent rhythm
Bruised from the constant pounding
My dear heart
Why are you at my feet
You belong in hands
Tender enough to care for you
Why is your speech so slurred
My dear heart
This letter is for you
I wish you had a better owner
I'm sorry doesn't cut it
But I'm sorry for the pain
I so blindly put you through
I'm sorry your lungs have failed
I wish we could of lived together
Peacefully and with one mind
My dear heart
Rest in Peace
I'll let your ghost read this
I'll place it in my chest
So you can haunt this body
And read this letter
I so know had to write you
To say I'm sorry

One cut
Two cut
Deeper and deeper
The blade almost disappears in my wrist
My depression has gotten worse
My suicidal tendencies increased
Wonder how fast the ambulance will take
If no one else is home
No one even close
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Your God doesn't even know I'm here
No wonder my prayers were ever answered
One reason why I'm an atheist
One swig
Two swig
Pain still isn't numbed
Why must I suffer
Why am I bleeding so slowly
I think I lost a lot
What a shame it is
I was beginning to think I was happy
Guess I was wrong
When am I ever right
One pill
Two pill
Maybe I should think about this
What am I leaving behind
What am I doing
Fuck it
Nobody ever saw my pain
I wore this mask for too long
It became a permant reflection
Why couldn't it have been transparent
Hello my name is "Suicidal"
I wish you could of gotten to know me
I'm sorry if this causes you pain
Call it selfish
Call it whatever you want
I'll call it "the solution to the problem I have become"
Goodbye my name is now "Dead"
Wish you the best of luck
Don't cry at my funeral
I don't want to drown in tears
Even in death
Might as well not show
The preacher man wont even be there
No one will come
News of my death
Will be music to a deaf society
My Obituary will just have my name, DOB, and DOD

You've pissed me too many times
You've never listened to me
So when you see
The dark shadow
Standing at the foot of your bed
Smell the sweet fragrance of decay
Taste the blood spilled from wrist due depression
Hear the deafening silence created by hate
Feel the cold bone chilling breeze
As murderous thoughts whisper
You've disregarded me too long
Now feel my 6 inch blade
Cold steel
Rip through your chest
Plunge into your lungs
Cut your wrist
Peel your flesh from weak muscles
Trying to scream
But it's already too late
I showed you what happens
When you refuse to love me
I want you to listen
Just listen
To murderous thoughts
That scream in my head

Call me insane now

You have tears of joy
Tears of sorrow
And tears of loss
Yet these snowflake shadow tears
Decay like rotting corpses
Age old victims
To tiresome eyes
Bags packed ready to board
Flights that will lift these burdens
Take away the heavy luggage
Lose it in transit
Forget it as decaying tears
Finally regain their life
As they crash into mountains
Of feathered pillows
Finally getting the rest they truly deserve

Promise me you will never leave
Promise me goodbye
Will never be a thought
On such tender lips as yours
Promise me goodbye
Will never be a part of our vocabulary
I never want to say goodbye
I only want to say
"I'll catch you later"
Or "I'll talk to you later"
I want to be sure
LATER is the only option
My love
Promise the moment will never come
When you say goodbye
I couldn't take the heartbreak
I'm afraid to say it
So I'll talk to you...Later
Because I will never leave
I love you

Shall I take my life away
Strip the essence of disgust
From a beautiful aroma of life
Shall I envy no longer
The tears that seem foreign
To vacant hollow depths
Soulless windowpanes that echo
The pain of a thousand voices
Yet I seem to struggle
With these tornado winds
Ripping through my heart
Desecrating the holy lands
That once flourished with Love and Innocence
Now Godforsaken
Shot down in the middle of night
Crashing burning into hallowed grounds
Aerial assault bombarding
Leaving ruins and corpses
Thirsty for the spillage of my blood
Carving rivers into my wrist
Breaking dams in my veins
Letting the bloody tsunami rage
Drowning myself in its depth
Godforsaken
Now I shall die
Simply because I'm pathetic
Always thinking I can save the world
With six lines or outstretched arms
All I'm doing is setting it up
For its inevitable failure

We wish you a happy birthday
We wish you a happy birthday
I love you Adreishka
Now blow out the candles
Make a wish
One day it will come true
I'm glad you chose me
As your beloved
Now allow me to wish you
One hell of a birthday
Today is your day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
WE ALL WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TI AMO CON TUTTO IL MIO CUORE
Now kill today
Let the world know
Your 16 today

Is this who I am?
Is this what I am?
Anger rushing through my veins
Racing with the adrenaline
Hatred in close third
I laid my hands on you
I swore I never would
I asked you to run
So why didn't you?
Why did you stay?
You knew it was going to happen
I had no control
I saw nothing but red
Blood was all I tasted
Hungry for the violence
Patiently waiting for me to wreak havoc
Tearing clawing at my insides
Is this who I am?
Is this what I am?
The monster you now have nightmares of
Do I frighten you?
I showed my true colors
Is this who I really am?
A monster seeking nothing but destruction
Setting fire to the bridges
It took years to build
Why?
Why didn't you run?
I begged you
Pleaded with you
To run the moment
You saw my pulse racing
Eyes going blank
Why didn't you run?
I showed my true colors
And you're now terrified to look at me
I'm sorry
Please forgive me
I know I'm a monster
But I never intended for you to get hurt

Home is just a wish
Orphans make every night
Upon the smallest shooting star
I have no home
Because I'll be abused and abandoned
Beaten to no identification of my remains
Bruised beyond comparison
Scarred for life
I have no home
It's simple to understand
Is it not?

You can hire me for whatever
I'll fix your broken heart
Repair the plumbing within its walls
Repair the wholes in it
I'll do it all for free
You can hire me to kiss you
To hold you
And I'll never charge you anything
As long as you tell me you love me
And I'm able to love you
With a love even a god himself
Cannot buy with anything
I'm your free handyman
I'll do whatever you want
Give you what you need
Even if I don't have the power to do that
I will try anyways
Ti amo con tutto il mio cuore

You have the audacity
To stroll by my house
Thinking your tough shit
Calling out to me that I'm the bitch
You already met my fist
Once, twice before
So if you want
I shall reintroduce to you
My fist
Hey Bitch
And Fuck You
Now that you're acquainted
Get the fuck out of my neck of the woods
And learn your place
At the bottom of the dirt on my shoes
I wish you the best of luck
With the disfigurement of your face
But think again before
You want to have a rematch
You should of learned the first and second time
You can't and wont beat me
And please don't get your big brother
Because his 6 foot 209 lbs ass
Will be quickly hospitalized just like the last time
He made the same foolish decision you did
Plus it will just make you look just that much more
Of the pathetic cunt faced bitch that you are
So please leave me alone
I really don't have the time
To play these childish games with you
Hey Bitch...Fuck You
The names of my fist that
Have left their mark on your face

Why I love the moon
Why the eerie lullaby
Lures me to sleep
Why I am terrified of my dreams
The hollow glares of ruby eyes
Carved into my very eyelids
Why am I so afraid of me
These hands of desolate crimes
Blood stained from her tears
I wonder...
Why I am the villain in this
No happy ending fairy tale
Why don't I get a happy ending
I wonder...
Will you cleanse my soul
If I lived life on my knees
Clasped my hands together
Every night at my bedside
Giving you a round of applause
As I talk to you
As if you exist
Begging with you
Pleading for a perfect ending
I wonder...
What do I have to do
For a happily ever after