by
rgpage
In this quiet time of night, I lie alone and prey to the bitter pain of
joy's absence. Lost in my mind's shallow thoughts the sharp fragments of
happy memories since shattered prick at the sensitive fringes of my sleep.
Sleep: Nature's sanctuary
A quiet haven, an island set apart
from the daily consciousness of life
where my thoughts may at last run free.
An island with white sandy shores as
far as the eye can see. Blemished only
by my solitary figure walking the blue
water's edge.
And the forests of my paradise, their
deep green density gives substance to
my world. Often I stop to ponder their
far reaching greenness.
The warm subtle breeze carrying the
fragrance of this foliage across my
face, fills my nostrils with the pleasures
of nature.
And occasionally a gull overhead,
drifting unchallenged on the soft
warm currents of the azure, as free
in his world as I in mine; lends companionship.
All of the sudden in the beat of a heart,
from no where a large black cloud appears
to smother the sun's warm light, turning
the blue sky and green foliage black
and the white sand that I once walked
upon a cold gray.
And just ahead of me lying there in
death's humiliation, my winged companion;
soaked and scorned at the dark water's
edge.
I awaken:
This cold room and bed the greatest part of my conscious moment, and the
sound of a distant train bell mocking the destruction of my comfort;
its havoc upon my sleep done it now moves on. Saddened I once again wade
through the shallow bogs of my loneliness, and the pains of memories of
the love and life i'd wasted return. This painful sleepless night a most
cruel retribution for my past. So firmly entrenched it seems I may never
return to my paradise; yet remain in this cold room to suffer the long
night's tortures.
Returning:
The warm sunlight, and gentle caress
of the water's pulse upon the white
sand.
And overhead my pure white friend
again drifts on the warm currents of
air, heralding not my return
but praising my presence....
...for my presence alone, gives
life to this warm yet oh so precariously
balanced paradise.
The white beach with its warm sand
leads me on my journey to the morning,
as I walk the blue water’s edge.
by
rgpage
lonely is this life i live
i am the first son of death.
this lonely life he gave to me
when first i drew my breath.
i walk this earth without my kin
for he is in another life.
i live on earth in mortal sin
and leave his world in strife.
even now i see his life
the molten fires of hell.
the darkened heat and cries of fear,
and the devil's laughter as well.
and through the void of time i hear
a voice cry out in anguished vent.
as our father draws so near
“repent dear God, repent.”
for me this life goes oh so fast
at times i have no goal,
but accomplishments will always last
for this brother of mine my soul.
by
rgpage
bundled in your favorite rags
protected from the world to see,
as cautious as a newborn now,
i carry you to your rest to be.
my thoughts drift back to happier times
you filled our lives w/ joy.
i fight back tears of sorrow now,
my strength a weakened ploy.
you slipped away in quiet sleep
as peaceful as your air.
your loving nature’s replaced with now,
death’s lonely tranquil stare.
a large piece of our heart you took,
when since you slipped away.
at pictures now we can only look
at a happier time, in a happier day.
we’ll see you in some future time
when the Good Lord calls us home,
across the rainbow bridge you’ll run
happy, well and whole….
by
rgpage
I never cried in viet nam,
I just seemed to take it in.
The missing limbs and twisted flesh
Friends one day and gone the next.
Was I too young to understand?
And need someone to take my hand?
No mother there to hold my hand
No father there to teach me ways.
To lead me through the day by days.
Just left alone, and alone I stayed
Instead I found my bottle friend
To stay my tears and hide my fears.
Back then “charley” felt they owned the night.
With blusterous thud the mortars hit,
Of saying hi it was “charley’s” way
then to be my friend by day.
From no where came the dragon ship,
and tipping his left wing
As a polite executioner saluting his victim just before unleashing hell.
w/ firery tongue lapping up the earth while mini-guns
Roared, eagerly devouring all living things,
Leaving “charley” w/ no where to run.
All clear a small visit w/ my bottle friend
And back to sleep in the alcohol deep.
I was no john wayne, I didn’t fight the war
A target yes for “charley’s” sights
When the sun gave way to night.
But no I didn’t fight.
I never cried glossary:
Charley=VC=viet cong=enemy: by day he acted like any of the population, some were even employed around the various bases. But at sundown he would turn…
Dragonship=C-47=2 or 3 several barreled mini-guns mounted on left side of the plane capable of firing a few 1000 rounds per minute each w/ a phosphorous round placed at every 6th round a tracer. At night this made it look like a steady stream of fire coming from the plane, hence the name “dragon ship” or “puff the magic dragon.” To aim the pilot had to dip his left wing and fly in a counter clock wise fashion. Very effective weapon…
Written for a special friend A.S.
by
rgpage
with each day i wonder why
i live in dreams without end.
why my life is slipping by
and why my life is without friends.
in solitude i feel the pains
i feel the pains of life so deep.
for comfort needing all in vain
to end each day in drunken sleep.
absorbed by fear and left alone
alone by choice of self denial.
tired of people sick of home
yet needing a friend and a friendly smile.
confused at life not knowing why
i feel the tolerance of others near.
who grasp at my moods as they streak by
yet shy from them in hopeless fear.
my conscience gone and soul decayed
torn from youth wasteful of friends,
a voice inside cries out afraid,
afraid at last of an empty end....
by
rgpage
it’d been a few years since the music died
i was a senior jock hard as a rock.
yep for buddy, jp and richie we sighed
when ever we listened to S and J’s “sleep walk.”
back in the days of crisp clean air
the colors of fall and new school year.
still living at home with nary a care
just thinking of sports and the crowd’s wild cheer.
gone in a flash the summer past
we lived so fast life couldn’t keep up.
trips to the lake, two bucks for gas
saturday night’s dance and dragging the gut.
this was our life most all that we knew
we didn’t see where our futures would lie.
our harvest jobs got our new clothes for school
while our parents pitched in for the car’s we’d drive.
first day of school we checked out the class
all with their bronze summer tans.
that’s when I saw this cute texas lass
with the very strange name, jimmie-lynn.
a few of my buddies had steadies you see
they never had to want for a date.
but getting a girl was much harder for me
for shy and unskilled I accepted my fate.
we went undefeated three weeks in the season
for the schools pride I was good at the game.
as the team’s co-captain there wasn’t a reason
that for jimmie-lynn’s heart I’d turn up so lame.
then with the help of a friend’s girl friend
i got to meet this girl of my dreams.
i felt so nervous I wanted to run
not knowing then I was the end in her scheme.
seems that she’d seen me the first day of school
with my curly blonde hair and dark brown eyes.
she couldn’t understand why I didn’t have a girl
and she really couldn’t see why I was so shy.
she was warm and friendly, and I soon felt at ease
word’s leaped from my mouth I’d never before used
like “whatcha doin’ after the game friday night,”
and “wanna go for pizza” or “what ever you choose.”
the days flew by and friday night came
the night air was cold and the crowd was wild.
and playing for jim I had my best game
with skill and speed and fierceness unbridled.
after the game a quick shower and change
into my chevy reaching under the seat.
my trusty jade east for the dance at the grange
and off to chick’s drive in, my jimmie to meet.
my home town was small didn’t have far to drive
the place was hoppin’ and inside was packed.
take a minute, calm down, and spot jimmie I thought
but with a hero’s welcome couldn’t help but be jacked.
we soon found ourselves off and alone
we just sat and talked three hours on end.
then jimmie told me she had to get home
she’d be going home with her sister and friends.
i asked her to the movies for the following night,
with yes she leaned in and gave me a kiss.
it was short but sweet. this was all that I knew,
not knowing before just what I had missed.
it’s been fourty some years since that october night
a lot of life’s river’s passed over the falls.
and though we’ve long since gone each our own way
i’ll think of that sixty third fall most of all.
by
rgpage
now slipping from my quiet night
my captive mind in swirling motion,
from my cold and darkened room
with hollow days and lingering hours;
from this life i slip away.
and journey now i cross the seasons
time's own boundaries hold me not,
i course my way from winter's cold
past infant spring and summer's hot;
'til on the sandy shores of fall
as in the past i gently land,
i cast my gaze out toward the west
across an endless stretch of waves,
and sit upon the sand.
an evening breeze now strokes my face
the autumn sun is on the wane,
and as it goes it takes the tide
as if its journey needs a friend
to stay it from life's friend less pain.
and like a harlot in the night
to keep me from life's friendless pain,
i strive to seek and hold her near
her softened shape clutched next to mine
to keep my lonely heart from fear.
yes to her side i often journey
her calming presence soothes my mind,
her pulse the breakers on the sand;
the sand her softened skin;
the evening breeze, her scented hair;
with her a gentle peace i find...
by
rgpage
when i look around this place
its antiquated beds and halls,
and hearing sounds that old age brings
the sounds of sadness through the walls.
and glancing into hollow eyes
which stare ahead in planted gaze.
i wonder what story there in lies
a story in which they lived their days.
now at last they're all alone
alone because they have no place
no place that they can call their own
no children now to show their love.
yes lives now spent and youth gone past
their silver hair and faces red,
this lonely life they live at last
and roam these halls until they're dead.
old and crippled a man now lies
a cruel way for life to end.
to stay this way until he dies
in dim lit room void of friends.
quietly now a woman sits
her spouse and children long since gone.
to do no more but wait her turn
of when her lonely life is done.
a sorrow touches felt by all
of knowing that the end is near,
there's those awaiting final call
a call to death which few do fear...
---to be continued---
by
rgpage
the days of age are finally here
and me now old with body cold,
my life has come a struggle.
our children now grown and out on their own.
with their children to guide from trouble.
yes the time is fall the sky is grey,
the leaves are red and gold.
the seasons parse our waning days
much shorter now, as we continue growing old.
my wife I see, not old like me
in the course of the many years.
her supple skin magnetic smile
my memories of her youth so clear.
my thoughts go back through numerous years
our children then were small,
to friends then lost with all our tears
in youthful days, i see them one and all.
back then no thoughts of getting old.
no worrying about a future maze .
we couldn’t see through a foggy haze,
we lived our days so bold.
the days of age we didn’t know
nor did we give them thought.
we were young and life was fun
we didn’t see reality’s sting, or
think that we’d ever be caught.
the days of age are upon us now
life’s circle almost complete.
with family and friends that have gone on ahead
we’ll see them again when we meet.
by
rgpage
strolling with her lover at the dark water’s edge
blonde wisps of hair riding the evening’s breeze,
snuggling in on his tight muscled form
as the breakers roar with a great lion’s ease .
a late night stroll on deserted shore
the dark hour’s flushed with the full moon’s glow
light barely enough for their silhouette’s form,
with the ocean’s mighty music of its wave’s ebb and flow.
on a wool blanket stretched upon the cool evening sand
alone with nature the couple takes pause
she sits and leans back on his bare muscled chest
lightly stroking his arm with her nail like claws.
silently now with the moon’s nightly toil
on the breakers rhythm pulled from the sea,
with one finger lifting a tiny stringed strap
a motion foretelling of the pleasures to be.
his fingers gently gliding the strap down her arm,
exposing a prize for which he did yearn.
warm kiss’ exchanged, give personal consent
gentle fondling, soft kissing, their secrets are learned.
time pass’ quickly with the couple’s desires
the ocean’s loud din now muffled and still.
replaced by hearts pounding, love’s ultimate chase
their gifts to each other of a lover’s free will.
united now with beaded up sweat
two bodies joined in their love’s embrace;
and a gentle kiss of the ocean’s breeze
at the water’s edge where breakers chase….
by
rgpage.
..his feet implanted steadfast
in the pessimism of his soul.
his wandering is for naught
lest he fall short his final goal.
arms made once for reaching
hang lifeless at his side.
hands once firm and strong
now weak through injured pride.
eyes which scan horizons
for good which lay ahead.
now scan the barren waste of life
so fruitless and so dead.
a heart once big enough to house
the world so innocent from birth.
let not this heart partake in now
love's merriment and mirth.
his mind his final touch with life
the leader of his soul.
now weak or dead through inner strife
can't reach a single goal.
is there a God so cruel
to make this jest of life?
man is God's finest tool,
if this is so than why?
by
rgpage
outside the walls a cold wind howls
in the dark of a wintry night.
yet in their bed so soft and warm
a young couple's fancy takes flight.
fresh candle light flickers in challenge
to the outside winter's cold bluster.
yet safe in their place they lend a soft grace
to light up the lover's growing luster.
under warm blankets naked bodies entwine
she's backed in to outline his form.
his free hand parts her raven black hair
his lips track her neck....his breath warm.
her whole body shutters as his hand softly traces
her side from shoulder to knees.
his kiss' grow hot between shoulder and neck
for more her breath sweetly pleads.
his hand travels back and stops at her rear
caressing her flesh firm and slow.
her hips gently roll into every firm squeeze
starting nature's hot juices to flow.
again on the move his hand travels up
past tummy so soft to her breasts.
while each one he fondles and cupping its weight
his hips grinding soft in the quest.
outside the wind's howl has grown to a roar
yet inside the light slowly wanes.
with bodies so hot blankets kicked to the floor
wrapped up in love's rapture gains.
now facing each other they give to each other
their gentle and sweet surrender.
a play ground of lust yet filled with love's trust
and touching so firm yet so tender.
she reaches her hands out to stroke his desire
so hard yet so smooth to her touch.
and likewise he bends in to suckle her nipples
hands rubbing her hips full and lush.
as is natures way there's time in love's play
when exploring and pleasure must grow.
spreading her limbs to let him pass in
she shudders with love's natural glow.
gentle and tender yet rhythmic his strokes
the room fills with sounds of their pleasure.
their hips rise and fall in love's intimate dance
this dance, love's most ultimate measure.
faster and harder they urge one another
as closer to climax they gain.
kissing and rubbing expressing their love
'til euphorically numb they became.
out side the winter storm rages
a most punishing wind at play.
yet lying inside in each other's arms
our lovers drift off and away…
Dec 4, 2011
by
rgpage
face down she rests her naked form
head turned from her lover's glance.
eye's closed she lies and knowingly waits,
(a) loving touch starts passion's dance.
his huge hand moves across her back
with strokes the touch of butterfly wings.
upon her creamy skin so smooth
its path now set toward splendered things.
his pace a slow deliberate score
her passion's breath he brings,
from touch so soft, igniting sparks
with love her breath now sings.
his steady course she knows so well
yet every touch is new.
her sparks of passion love's embers light,
love's embers loving hue.
down past her rear with feathered touch
just knowing where to go,
behind her knees his fingers dance
to passion's steady flow.
their hips now in synchronic dance,
love's voluntary ride, she feels his
passion grown so hard,
now pressed against her side.
he cups her breast so gently
as if it were a flower,
its nipple earlier soft and small
now hard with passion's power.
and in her loins great sparks erupt
her soft and pleasured flesh.
with juices flowing, desire's high
to meet love's natural crush.
now she turns to meet his lips
her passion running high.
with savage hunger she pulls him in
her hunter now the prey.
tables turned their urge well matched
desire holds the pace.
she takes control and guides his love
with feminine stealth and grace.
to places only she could know
where sparks ignite
small streaks of light,
that illuminates her soul.
together they fend love's tempting end
to stay their lover's dance.
to take control and reach their goal
the essence of their romance.
by
rgpage
nuzzled tightly to his chest
she quietly begs him stay,
her gentle touch along his arms
says ‘please my love don’t go away.’
her soft lips tenderly touch his mouth
with kisses as warm as a summer’s eve.
wrapping her tightly in his arms
he lets her know that he won’t soon leave.
staring wistfully into each other’s eyes
as busy fingers silently toil,
garments loosened and cast aside,
as eager love’s longing begins its slow boil.
taking their time and guarding their urges
not letting this passion’s moment be lost.
to inner emotions brought to a boil
so often the payment of love’s urgent cost.
with muscles taut he draws her near
while inner butterflies stretch their wings.
naked bodies as yet unexplored
a course is set toward splendorous things.
kissing, caressing, an orgy of motion
his fingertips track her silky soft skin.
his huge hands gently cupping her breasts,
embarked on an evening of beautiful sin.
with a look in her eyes of a young lover’s trance
her hands glide o’er his youthful frame.
in time fingers find their way to their mark
his desire’s aroused in love’s youthful game.
to bed now they go with its cool sheets waiting
they’ve said that they’ll know when the time is right.
supporting her frame as he lowers her down
for them their time’s now as their bodies unite.
by
rgpage
to be loved
how should I act?
not poor and pathetic
maybe wealthy, athletic.
a man of song
a man of dance
one most willing
to take a chance.
with friendly smile
or cheeky grin,
no down cast eyes
and quivering chin.
no pity’s not
the way to go,
should never let
my feelings show.
but wait a minute
how honest is that?
a constant smile
and tip of the hat…?
a loveable rogue
that everyone knows
with a pose out of vogue
where my best side shows.
don’t let her see
the inner me,
from contradictions
she might flee.
they say all’s fair
in love and war,
so give her what
she needs to see
just that and
nothing more….
by
rgpage
hollow now my world has grown
with age that time has thrust on me.
from carefree childhood days i'd known,
from days of climbing in a tree.
from summer sunlit mornings
from sundays in the park.
i didn't see time's warnings
or see the sun grow dark.
i didn't see the stranger
who followed me one day.
i didn't sense the danger
as i went off to play.
with eager youth i left from home
the world was my shell.
i didn't see the stranger
who'd lead me to my hell.
i'd lifted weights with youthful ease
these weights now known as life.
did what i wanted as i pleased;
i took myself a wife.
and with my wife we had a child
we had a baby boy.
with carefree sundays in the park
he filled our lives with joy.
we watched his life as he grew strong
'til off to war he went.
he told his mom, "it won't be long
until my journey's spent."
and as his ship pulled from the pier
i saw the stranger's face.
with deep set eyes he blankly starred,
he seemed so out of place.
i felt as if i'd known this man
had known him all my life.
in parks where as a youth i ran
and when i met my wife.
it wasn't long our son had gone
my wife had passed away.
and in the war he followed her
just six months to the day.
old and lonely now i sit
and watch the children play.
on carefree sundays in the park
until that final day.
a day in which the stranger comes
and takes me to my rest.
to my loving wife and son
upon my final breath.
by
rgpage
....the soft feeling of silk from her skin translating through my finger
tips as they glide gently, touring just the exposed areas of her neck,
shoulders, back and partial-cleavage, unleashing the delicious fluttering
of erotic butterflies in the pit of my stomach. not daring to attempt
passage beyond the frail borders of her garment. no, no green light of
passage dare i see, much too important my quest attaining her most con-
sensual gift...how long the path; days blurred into weeks, and weeks into
months leading up to this moment , where it seems that my stars sparkled
brighter and my planets lined up straighter than cupid's arrow....
...kiss' soft and gentle just long enough then ended leaving us both
hungering for another. and though we've both been to this place before,
each with another, this time around our actions seem almost virginal.
life it seems has given each of us a second chance at happiness delivering
to us this moment, and each of us in turn seeing its importance fend off
the easy route giving into the overwhelming carnal urges of the
moment...
"…bob wake up, george bush won again,"
"oh, another four years...."
by
rgpage
the way at certain times i feel
my hopes, my life, my only goals
take wing to mental fantasies and soar
high above the scarred and tortured reality
to which i awaken each day.
alone now i feel the excitement from
the magnitude with which my giant brown
winged chariot carries me on an odyssey
seen only through my mind’s eye.
and as i look out across the broad massive
expanse of one wing alone, dwarfed by just
a solitary feather, i feel the security of
my mental fortress.
before me lies the horizon of life, a life
in which the sun is slowly waning toward the
west, oh God let this vehicle of mine catch
just the traces of twilight and hold them.
many times i’ve flown and many times found
release and gently glided to a soft landing
in slumber; sheltered in that darkened void
until awakened by the harsh light of day and
only then to realize that my journey had safely ended.
the light of life is real, yet the dusky
light of evening with its twilight softness
rounding off the sharp edges of my loneliness
is what i must cling to, and to this light i fly.
one day soon the sun will set completely, and
i on my final voyage will streak into the
darkness, crashing into the inevitable mountain
of death. leaving not the traces of sight or
sound, but just the absence of a person so
wrapped up in his own loneliness that he
couldn’t see the true light and love of those
around him….
by
rgpage
as children sunrise always brought a new day
and war was a game young boys would play.
no thought given to the dark tunnel traveled
no thought given when tomorrow comes today.
with the dark nights clear stars sparkled bright
in our younger day when in parks we’d play.
no thought given to the dark tunnel traveled
no thought given when tomorrow comes today.
as we grew older to the prime of life
and war was a game politicians would play.
no thought given to the pain and strife , and
no thought given when tomorrow comes today.
poised and proud on foreign shore,
protecting the slight , weak and waned.
a young soldier waits his turn at war with
no thought given when tomorrow comes today.
a rifle cracks and the young man falls
his blood turns to mud in the filth where he lay.
his comrades fight his final call, with
no thought given when tomorrow comes today.
at home an anxious family waits, not knowing at all
(for they weren’t there) to see him fall.
their thoughts turn now to the dark tunnel traveled,
and wondered what it means when tomorrow comes today.
by
rgpage
her blonde wisps of hair riding the late evening’s breeze,
at the dark water’s edge they casually stroll
snuggled up close under her lover’s arm
as the breakers roar like a thunder’s roll.
a late night stroll on deserted shore
the dark hour’s flushed with the full moon’s glow,
barely enough light for their silhouette’s form,
as they walk the water’s edge with its wave’s ebb and flow.
on a wool blanket stretched upon the cool evening sand
alone with nature, the couple takes pause
she sits and leans back on his bare muscled chest
lightly stroking his arm with her nail like claws.
light wine and cheese from a basket she packed
‘til nature takes hold and leads them along
with kiss’ on her ear and cheek he snacked
as young hormones pull on urges made strong.
with one finger lifting her tiny stringed strap
a motion foretelling of pleasures to be earned,
his fingers gently gliding it down her arm
exposing a prize for which he did yearn.
warm kiss’ exchanged give personal consent
the ocean’s loud din now muffled and still,
gentle fondling, soft kissing, their secrets are learned.
with their gifts to each other of a lover’s free will.
time pass’ quickly with the couple’s desires,
their two bodies joined in love’s embrace;
united hearts pounding to love’s ultimate dance
at the water’s edge where the breakers chase….
