Doll house sized window
with voices passing by
weaving in and out
of consciousness
sleeps a losing battle
in cubbies like these
you crawl into bed
bury yourself beneath sheets
and forget the noise outside
forget the the things that crawl in the walls
forget the sex you hear next door
forget the chastity belt you locked yourself
infringing upon my rights
i smoked them all away
frayed hearts and unheld hands
watching deep red curling flames
little strings upon my fingers
a marionette to do the bidding
of a world that fucks itself time again
then spends a life time on forgetting
i fold to life
my hand is shit
wish i lived
somewhere still
i want to blend in with the walls
where its easy to fall victim
to times heavy toll
and shrivel away
i want scars
that burrow deeper than
the scratches on my back
come find me
wasting
breath
lets just pretend
- fill each other up
with
sterile smiles
and synchronized laughs
we can go on quiet walks
and whisper fake hellos
lets pretend
our milky eyes and wrinkled foreheads
are problems fixed in time
lets pretend
man didn't scalpel the world
into tiny little pieces
defiling its great potential
separating hearts and minds
hands and waists
families and religion
lets pretend a flag is worth my empty chest
self distructions a daily high
i watch hundreds implode ritually
cant make sense of the masochism
we perpetuate so consistently
theres a thousand eyes watching the cracks in the floor
ignoring this noose around my neck
theres a thousand ears with headphones in
ignoring their own cries for help
none of you have ink on your hands or words on your tongue
just a mouse between your fingers
clicking away
and away
and away
from reality
configured to a format
with no time to waste
spakle every crack and wrinkle
on my aging face
we can all be dolls
cause deep down we're all made of porcelain
empty eyes staring vacously
into a world of nothing
your words were so cold
they chapped your lips as we spoke
your surraded tongue
met my neck
sliced a smile on my face
the wicked
tight
all knowing
person
that you are
feels only what she wantss
plunge my brain out through my ear
this place has got me all stopped up
dipping conceptions of why and where
in embalming self pity
your words were so cold
they chapped your lips as we spoke
your serrated tongue
met my neck
sliced a smile on my face
the wicked
tight
all knowing
person
that you are
feels only what she wantsss
lifes a joke
without a punchline
just a long
drawn out
end
I got nothing up my sleeve
but the rest of my arm
im stuck scavenging this wretched world
bare tooth and claw
divine intervention
sewing seeds of discontent
blemished me
somehow built by an architect?
its hard to imagine a world
with a place for me
neatly wrapped
so sanitary
someday you'll find me
belly up on the side of the street
caught in the flashing lights
brushed by a stroke of epilepsy
theoretical masturbation
where the fuck does it get you?
you're still a bottom feeder
entranced by the filthy floor boards
of society
Just pass me one more beer
I swear this next one will be my last
I'm choking on the alcohol
but I'm tired of breathing the air from the past
and I just wanna get back to sleep
this south Florida air is just
a little too fucking heavy for me
and I'm lost
in a pile of stale cheap beer cans
but I swear the map outs at the bottom of this next one
laying here
I fall into a void
of endless possibilities
I'm not sure if I'm drowning in your eyes
or if I'm drowning in the OE
I'm pretending you're my sleeping bag
wrapped around me at night
remembering you're in every car
ignoring my thumb as you drive by
I wish I was a Christian I could confess my sins away
I wish that I was Jesus I could turn the other cheek
I wish I was an athiest and know that this is all fake
I wish I had another beer I just wanna get back to sleep
___
I wish I was a Christian I could waste my life away
I wish that o was Jesus someone please crucify my
I wish I was an athiest I just wanna be happy
I wish I had another beer I just wanna get back sleep
i wish i had something better to write about
than me
bullshit feelings
the only thing in life
thats constant is change
what a drag
cause i could feel this way forever
i remember sitting on the lap of my future
as he stroked the lining of my waist
i remember the vast exhales
that tickled the hairs on my neck
i remember faint whispers in my ear
telling me everythings gonna be alright
as we played doctor in the dark
i'll miss the innocent smiles
sparkling virgin eyes
hope
but
i got no
cherry to pop
i was fucked from the start
i want to know
what i look
like in my sleep
snoring
kicking
stealing all the sheets
i'd watch the futile journey
to the cold side of the pillow
a hundred times over
and call myself a fool
and know why its important
to put yourself in
someone elses shoes
Chairs are just coat hangers
couches are beds
and clothes are just hand rags you wear
my cell phones just a flash light
and the shower is a neighborhood sperm
bank
that doubles as a hairsalon
(so..
what the fuck does that make me?)
wasted
turned inside out
like a damp t-shirt drying in the sun
soaking up the
salt stained air
whats left behind
and forgotten
while lovers
play naked on the shore
im just here to watch
