i thought i heard a dog barking but the night was just larger in my awareness like a danger
the night was still silent
the gift of silence, never fully unwrapped
tiredness never enters, my mind decided long ago that wandering in the dark was my forte
somewhere between worlds
alive of course, but never really alive
time being flexible, sometimes full of nothing or else following thought after thought
echoes of thoughts follow
and feelings, drifting like scents on a breeze
living in the silence and the darkness is immortality, at least that's what it tells me, when i listen
not like the blood and heat
or the violent thoughts of daylight
some sort of suspended life, breath measuring the seconds with no other reference points
i imagine the sound in my head
thinking that breathing proves i'm alive
echoes of thoughts in the silence, echoes of silence in my thoughts, and i don't even see
I thought life would be easier after death.
Thought of peace and love and clouds;
I never thought I'd wake up in a shell.
I can see you up there
The still-human ones.
I would envy you but I think the ability is lost
It is more obvious now that you are predators
But we share your space without much notice.
Death is only a sidestep so forget the risks;
Life is yours for the living.
busy mind pulling in all directions.
the time for study and creativity.
when thoughts collide.
when secrets bite with bitterness.
night brings out the crazies.
who cannot sleep.
dare not sleep.
dappled shades of noise and silence.
bright dark world.
shadows and spotlights.
must stay inside.
but rules don't make sense now.
must not talk.
to strangers but all are strange.
who sleep now are strangest.
hiding, pretending to be safe but only.
like a child.
with hands over eyes and eyes clenched.
a dangerous choice.
prototypes in my mind
fill the vacancy
fill the silence.
silence the needs
pretend like i die tomorrow
but live like i died today.
motivation for desire
stays and wallows
in it's comfortable rut.
change clings to
Fractured black spaces
curved beneath my eyes
black sand, dust motes
A touch to the cobweb
no - just a breath
And dark becomes light
light becomes colour
And my life flashes - as they say
Whatever I breathe is there
inside. I only see
What I want to see
and I bathe in my light
While all other worlds spin
Around the stars
As they've always done
a tiny anchor, barely a fish hook
moors me to the surface.
light as sunbeams i float
in the darkness.
float above everyone but it's
never far enough.
dreams follow me but many
had to be left behind.
life carries on once
the dying have gone.
of course we're all dying
and i was just dying to leave.
i sleep in the void
see my dreams before me
and below me. i wake
to check if i'm still alive and
i'm not sure why i'm surprised.
i'm not the first, but there was only
a few before me.
perhaps they will fill my dreams
with life and let me wake
in a new world.
one day i might
walk in to a storm
energy to move me
sound to silence the world
once you are wet
the touch of water comforts
once you are alone
the cold breaks down the walls
once you are close
the night hides all
once you choose
the river is a safe place to sleep
sweet sigh as I inhale you
the sweat of our passion
a scent of storms and slumber
smiling, sensuous you lay still
spent and silent.
softly I say
and I know you know what I mean.
thank you for your life
and for sharing mine
thank you for your love
that inflames and comforts.
thank you for healing me
thank you for making me a healer.
the morning light wakes you a little
and I lie on my side
breathing you my love.
coarse salty air, shapes in soft sand showing the echo of waves.
cackling gulls over by the road, fighting over some scraps
the water flows like blanket pulled over the head
hiding the sand under the undulating soft blank sea
the sun is high, and burns the sand and salt into your skin.
the walk burns your muscles and you decide to rest
sit on the collapsing footprints of others
the softened erased castles where crabs used to live
sit to stare at the sharp horizon and blink in the harsh sun
perhaps boats or canoes or dinghies will wash past
perhaps you will wave and smile, perhaps you will sit there til dark
and no one will care when you walk into the cold clutches of the sea.