1
Tommy’s little, sure, but he’s
getting to that age
when he understands a little more
picking up things as his parents
take him shopping;
and hearing and seeing things
at home, in the backyard
and in the streets

2
but today poor Tommy
is caught in class
he’s about to explode
and he’s controlled it the last hour

“Please, miss,” he has the balls
to say it after all
“I need go piss!”

“You’re not going,”
says the pedantic Miss,
“until you use in a complete sentence
the proper English word
for your urge:
URINATE”

Poor Tommy –
he’s got the balls, but does
he have the brains?

Tommy thinks hard for a while -
one hand on his head
one hand on his pants
and then he blurts out:
“YOU ARE AN EIGHT
and Mrs Smith next door
who sunbathes naked in her courtyard
LOOKS LIKE A TEN. Now, can I go?”

nights are fun
such fun -
it’s clear to see

1)
ask Jim
who stayed awake
all night
pondering over
what had happened to the sun
and in the morning, it finally dawned on him

meanwhile his pa
was outside driving
and he drove into the lake
cos he wanted to dip his headlights

Jim’s mother, on the other hand,
slept on the edge of the bed
cos her doctor told her
(cos she complained
she could not sleep)
to lie on the edge of the bed
and soon she’ll drop off!

and the sister, Susie,
she stayed awake
eight days without sleep
and yet she remained alert and fresh–
and you wanna know how she did that?
Oh, easy - she slept at nights.


nights are fun
such fun -
it’s clear to see




2
see even nature’s creatures
in Jim’s backyard
even they had fun

the wolves had a party all night –
and all homo sapiens in the area agreed
it must have been a howling success

and the glow-worm
it bumped into a tree
and you can bet your own ass –
the glow-worm was de-lighted!


nights are fun
such fun
it’s clear to see

cheap people laugh
at others for being cheap;
they're so cheap
they think others must be cheap
just like them

1
case in point:
see, I've always been misunderstood
by these cheap people -
like even when I buy my friends
a drink
they call me cheap
cos they expect one each  -
now, how cheap can they get?


2
and my girlfriend
comes to my apartment
with me
and then talks behind my back:
"He sticks popcorn to the ceiling
cos it's cheaper than a smoke alarm" -
now, how cheap can they get?


3
and I'm at the shop
looking for this perfume
for my girlfriend
and I don't like the $50 bottle
and not the $30 bottle
the shop girl shows me;
and not the $15 one either
and I say to her:
"What I'd like to see
is something cheap" -
and she holds a mirror to my face...
Now, how cheap can they get?



yeah, cheap people laugh
at others for being cheap;
they're so cheap
they think others must be cheap
just like them

all's hush and quiet
in the bathroom
and things start
to talk to one another

drip, drip, says the tap
brr, brr, says the window
hum, hum, says the pipe
tchk, tchk, says the shower


I've got the worst job round here,
whines the eloquent toothbrush

Oh, yeah? comes the reply
from the unassuming toilet roll

how many coins do we have? you count
and I’ll see; call out as you count, tell me
how much exactly; and then how many days
it will take us to…Little Boy with his crutches
can buy a new one, maybe
and a new shawl for mama…
throw it, one coin against the other as you count;
I love to hear the clink of coins…ha, ha –
you know, sometimes
I even lick a coin to see if it’s pure…mama says I’d get sick
if I did that…yeah, certainly not as sweet on the tongue
as the grapes and fruit we sell, but certainly tastes well
to me in my mind
have you another coin in the other palm?
this day a Lord’s servant bought
some grapes in the street corner;
she said it was for her master’s table,
and our grapes were glowing and fresh
much as what her master loves…and she was kind to me…
did you count the other coin? sometimes I wonder, you know,
how many coins we will need till the end of our lives,
like to the time, say, when Old Boko died last autumn –
how many coins will it take to see us to that moment?
Yes, and of course, how many grapes
would we need to sell to collect that amount?

let them see
the way of knowledge themselves
teach them to read and to aspire;
male and female, brother and sister
strangers
the privileged and the children of the streets -
teach them to observe, to speak and to dream
teach them the ways of piercing
beyond the confines

be it each child’s unquestioned right
be it enshrined in the laws and in your statutes
be it inscribed on your City Gates
and in your Hearts and Minds;
let each sit to the sounds of the words and meaning
let each decipher, think and interpret
let each be empowered, guided but not circumscribed
let each explore and discover and capture the voices
and dreams in the very air about them
bring to them the means and the new and the old
regardless of one’s origin and history
each child, male and female
let there not be want and lack of means
let each be fearless
do not hold back any
let none be neglected
and let them be the heirs
to our world -
to freedom,
inquiry and exploration…
let each child live fully the life of the mind

trees, trees and plants
we see them with trunks round
Love them, laugh with them
cos you may not see them
all years, always  a -round

Trees, trees
they have no fingers
Oh, but they’ve got many rings;
and they still get on the internet
by logging in

Tulips grow on your face
and if you plant kisses
you get another two lips;
the cucumber goes mad
cos it’s in a pickle;
the mushroom is always invited to parties
cos he’s a fungi

and the dog loves the tree
cos they both have bark;
while the frog’s favorite flower
is the croak-us;
the elephant, on the other hand,
I mean on the other trunk,
loves squash;
and while the fruit
comes from a fruit tree
the chicken comes
from a poul-tree

trees, trees and plants
we see them with trunks round
Love them, laugh with them
cos you may not see them
all years, always  a-round

the nut sneezes: "Cashew!"
And the lemon is sick
and the kind neighbors
give it lemon-aid;
the tomato turns red
cos it sees the salad dressing;
and baby corn says to mama corn:
"Where’s pop?"

and you humans
if you reach out with your hands
you can fit a palm tree in;
and knock! knock!
who’s there?
"Leaf – yeah, just leaf me alone;
enough of your silly jokes"

Trees, trees and plants
we see them with trunks round
Love them, laugh with them
Cos you may not see them
All years, always  a -round

1
Commander Alien outlines his strategy
for when visiting earth:
“We should not celebrate Christmas
so we don’t give away our presence”

2
one alien goes to the cat
and says to it:
“Take me to your litter!”
The other one turns to the gas pump and grunts:
“It’s really rude of you
to stick your fingers into your ears
When I’m talking to you!”


3
One alien goes into the shop
and orders his favorite tea items:
Gravi-tea and Mars-mallows

4
One alien goes to wash
in the meteor shower;
while the other comes to find
he’s had a ticket cos he
forgot to pay the parking meteor

5
But not all aliens are dumb though,
as this final tale will show

One alien goes to the pillar box
and tells the post box:
“Take me to your leader”
And the other alien shouts across:
“Hey, you dumbo –
can’t you see he’s only a child!”

1
it is astonishing
in spite of so much progress
in space exploration
the general population
(Yea, ye puny earthlings)
has so little grounding in space facts
(come on - face facts!)

2
which reminds me of the sun
which for years refused to get an education
because it claimed it’d already got
a million degrees;
but humbled by my admonition
the sun now goes to school
to get brighter;
and for reading it’s got plenty of comet books
and all day( there’s no night)
it learns all about its children:
it learns that a tick on the moon
is called a luna-tick;
that the moon is heaviest
when it’s full;
and all these planets exchange songs
they secretly call Nep-tunes;
and that Mars tries to get fresh
with Saturn by saying often:
“Give me a ring sometime!”

And more,
the sun learns about the light year
which is really a year with less calories;
that the cows have a distinguished
space history -
after all, the first animal in space
was the cow that jumped over the moon;
but really, its main aim
was to get all the way to the milky way

3
more of these facts? –
you lazy ostriches,
get off your heavy bottoms
and dig into a wormhole yourself

see how life flows
how time embraces
things pass, and the words we use
to justify things
to eternalize, to spiritualise
they trap us, do you observe;
beings pass, things lose their joints
bodies relinquish their hold;
and even space withdraws into itself
all things it brings forth
if you observe,
dear wayfarer, and friend
what appears before and what stays and what subsides;
not led in your mind
manacled by Thick Books and Principles
and The Book of Words and Light of Truths
if you put all things aside
(you need nothing in all worlds)
and you observe
you see all things glide
like the cloud that appears in the sky
dances with winds, not to please anyone
and then passes;
and so do you, so do all things pass;
and always there is the stillness that embraces
do you observe

I’ve got my new sailor suit
my sailor suit
and I’ll  get on a ship
the biggest one on the oceans -
and I’ll sail away, sail away

Far to oceans on
the other side
I’ll sail in my ship
And my crew
they’ll steer us all
to distant lands
and lovely shores

We’ll see strange lands
and we’ll learn new games;
we’ll make new friends
and we’ll exchange gifts -
and we’ll sail away, sail away
with as many more ships
as want to follow

And then I ‘ll return
back home
and I’ll be on the prow
standing tall in my new sailor suit
And all those ashore will cry out aloud:
“Here comes our sailor
Here comes sailor Oskar
Clean and bright
in his sailor suit
as new as the day it was made”

I’ve got my new sailor suit
my sailor suit
and I’ll  get on a ship
the biggest one on the oceans -
and I’ll sail away, sail away

Sir, we did not know this is your garden…
No…Sir, my brother wanted some flowers
and I said I would love them too

You see we were walking from the cottage
and my little brother ran across the fields
and I followed, Sir; and no, we were not able
to tell anyone; and my brother ran,
and he raised his hands across the fields
like the birds do, their wings across the skies
and I ran, and I forgot the distance
and the places
and then we sat down, tired and there was a brook
and we drank  some water
and then my brother saw the flowers across
on the other side
and he ran again and he wanted the flowers
He said he’d pick some for  Mamma,
some for our aunt
and that is how we came here;
and we love the flowers and the scent
and so I helped him, Sir…
no, we did not tell anyone we were coming
We don’t know where we are
Please Sir, do not look so angry
my brother is about to cry -
he cries when people are angry, and he is afraid
We will put the flowers back on the ground here
where it belongs, in your park, back on your land, Sir
Let us go now, Sir...we will go and
we promise not to come back ever again…
I will not let my brother come, nor will I

Tom’s moved in to a new suburb
It’s a new term and new school too;
he sits beside this pretty girl
in class, trying to impress her
and Tom says to the girl:
“Hi…Did you listen to the Principal
talk in the hall? He’s an absolute idiot,
don’t you think?”

“Do you know who I am?”
replies the girl

“No,” says Tom, wondering
what this is about
“Who are you?”

“I’m the Principal’s daughter,”
says the girl

“Oh,” says Tom
and then he says:
“Do you know who I am?”

“No,” says the girl
“I don’t know who you are”

“Oh, that’s good then,“
says Tom, quite relieved

1
Sarah and Tim are talking
at the warehouse where they work
“Our new manager’s good –
don’t you think? Bet he’d give me a day off”

“Bet your bottom,” says Sarah


2
And Tim hangs
upside down on the beam
across the ceiling
and the Manager asks:
“Tim, what are you doing?”

“I’m a light bulb,” says Tim
“and I light up
the warehouse”

“You need a break, I think”
says the Manager
“Have the rest of the day off paid;
come back tomorrow”

3
Tim smiles and he goes
and Sarah follows out
And the Manger, puzzled, asks:
“Sarah – where are you going?”

“Oh,” says Sarah,
“It’s so darned dark in here
since the light is off;
I can’t work
till the light comes back tomorrow”

The Creative Writing teacher
has sniffed out a cheat
and she glares at Tom and barks at him:
“Tom – each word in this writing
you submitted
is exactly the same as the one your
brother Sim has submitted”

And quick as a leaping dog comes
little Tom’s answer:
“Yeah – it’s the same dog!”

Now
I posted a poem or two
which grabbed the eyes
of a dozen or so
like glue;
but now I’d like someone to tell me
what I should do

1
I mean,
I got a few followers, right…
“Latenight Looney started following you”
said the notice from the website;
and: “ Moonface at Window started following you”
but I got no comments from the followers
so I have no idea what sort of people they are -
and now, hey, I’m so afraid of all these followers
(these Moonies and Loonies)
I constantly look back over my shoulders
to see if they are following me
And everywhere I go
every other person looks so sus
and when I’m out
(wont to water more often, as it happens at my age)
I visit public toilets (McDonald’s is often cleanest)
and I get this feeling
(deep down in me)
my followers are hiding
in the ceiling
watching me
dadadidado –
But please, O don’t look down on me!

And the rest of you decent people -
will you please tell me what to  dadadidado?


2
And look,
I got all these likes -
which is good, right?
“Pimply Whanker liked this”
“Busty TouchBottom liked this”
is all it says
And don’t you hate it
when they don’t leave a comment? –
And now, I’ll never know
what it is they liked…


Can someone fix me right -
what should I dadadidado??

1
The child that said what he saw
at the end of the street:
“But mommy,
the Emperor  ’s bare as
Little Tommy the day he was born!” -
that child,
I’ve always wondered,
always what happened
to that child

Just recently
in my journeys
I saw
The Annals of the State (check Wikileaks)
show what happened to the boy and all


2
Straight on from the streets
the boy was sent
to the Truth Ideology School
where he spent years polishing
the Fat Butts of the Royal Horses -
but still saying what he saw
(for it seems this is a Disease of the Brain,
a condition known plain as:
Speaking the Truth);
and so he was delivered then the State Cure:
and now, it seems, he lives in Cell131313
(serves him right for catching the disease;
sure, the sins of the fathers are visited on the kids)
teeth rotten and knees falling
the little boy who spoke the Truth -
now unknown, hidden and obscure

And his Ma was sent to
Patriot Mother’s Re-Education Program Institute
where even centuries after
she’s yet to complete her first year;
And his Dad to Desert-You-Never-Come-Back-From
and little Tommy was sent to
Grab-Them-Young School

And every school child
in The Emperor’s Domains is taught
The Upright Moral of the Story:
Don’t tell Lies –
For the Truth is the Lie


3
Remember then, for your own good,
O ye children
of all nations and clime:
It was the tailors
the smooth-talkers
the unjust, the wrong-doers
the charlatans -
It’s them that got away

that hat seller
he’s a Maverick
itinerant, wanderer
no monkey business
no dependence, his own man
busy, he has one thing to do:  
to sell his hats

Hats, hats, hats
hats for sale
Blue hats, black hats,
gray ones -
will lend you some dignity
while on your heads

they’d not want to help him
they liked to brand him
so he said: Damn you,
I’d rather go on my own

moving from one place
to another
like a masterless samurai, a ronin
no monkey business for him
but the monkeys do come to him

he knows the monkeys
they’re everywhere the same -
pinching, covetous, not giving
but eager hands for taking;
and he throws his own hat down
and the monkeys imitate;
and he collects what is his
and he moves on, as he must
for his work is everywhere
busy, he has one thing to do:  
to sell his hats

Hats, hats, hats
hats for sale
Blue hats, black hats,
gray ones -
will lend you some dignity
while on your heads

(1)
Every idiot is bound
to take life so seriously
and so Tsarevna Euna
saw the torment, the pretension
in all who surrounded her
and she could not smile

Many a fool in earnest faith came -
many a handsome man
who felt there was only one aim in life;
many a clown in grave intent and purpose
auditioned;
many an imbecile from all extremities;
many a thinker, many a philosopher
many a Prophet who said Heaven is Open

But all earnestness is Dumb and Weighty
like the butt of a hippo
and so Tsarevna Euna
saw the gravity
in all who surrounded her
and she could not smile

(2)
And she heard one day
in her lonely walk
in her gray, dry-withered garden
the mouse, the beetle and the catfish talk
of the man who gave away his every coin
of the only three coins he had in the world  

And at last, the Tsarevna knew,
there was one indeed
who knew to treat the world light
(as when a leaf falls, and no one is pissed off )
and so she discarded her mournful looks
and she dismissed her father and the royal court
and she grew to be the Wisest Queen of All
and so it is sung to this day,  in all those domains:
The Princess who never smiled
she had a sudden insight
and she grew to be the Wisest Queen of All

"why don't you,"
said the Lofty Man
warily considering me,
"sing of the Sublime
the Grand, The Divine?
Sing you of the Uncommon
the Mystery
of the Spiritual, the Religious
of the Incomprehensible -
why don't you?"

"Cos," I said,
pushing the toothpick
between my teeth
(the bloody food bits always get stuck in between),
"I've been  
to the mountain top there
and I've seen the Sublime
is just O so, so Common
so battered Trivial"
(Then I spat out the food bits -
O it was Divine Bliss, just like in post-coital)