One day my words will scream in side my head
There will be a thirst unquenched
A hand unheld
And a million moments lost within the framework we call life
How to hold on when everyone about is drowning
Hold me up
Chuck me a life jacket
Where the hell am I
Sinking
Further
Faster
Hell this is no fun anymore
And as I turn to look into your eyes
Your laughing
This world is for the rich
The mighty sword holds tight
Across my chest
I breath in air
And choak out blood
Look down at your hands
Blood
As red as the lips in which you kiss goodnight
In the shade of the shining moon

Today i subscribed to your poetry
I wanted to get in touch
With your inner beauty
Not learn about what eats you up inside
To day I wrote I love you in a tex
I wanted to touch a heart
With the beauty inside me
Not hear about what a hard boring day yourve had at work
Today I held the hand of a child
That barely understands the concept of friendship
I wanted to help him learn
But he took his hand and hid
Unable to connect to the world outside
Today I saw the sunrise
And I dreamed of being somewhere else
This scares me because I'm ment to be in love
I loved you because
You saw in me what I never saw myself
I held you for a while
Before I knew I had to walk away
Today I made a note to self
Be grateful
Be wise
Be ready
To listen carefully
because boredom runs deep and if this is all you see
It will be all you get
To not take for grantage
That we all feel different
And at the end of the day the child held out a hand
In need of connection
Be ready when the sunset comes
To take hold of the moment
Before it disappears
Be grateful
Be ready
Be wise

The girl is  waiting for the moment just before midnight
The waiting driving madness further into her core
With every beat of her frail heart
She falls deeper into her self
Silenced only by the louder noise of wings flapping around her
What should she do?
Run?
She sits shocked in awe of such a beautiful creature
Feared by many
The girl knew only too well the ways in which we try so hard to think ourselves superior
And yet we fall when nature takes hold
Manipulating
Killing
Respectfully hiding our faces in the sand
The creature holds her gaze for a meer moment
Connection is made
Can you feel the invisable thread
can you witness
The tears that flow so freely
Cleansing the pain
Freeing the soul
Can you hear the heartbreak of the Dragon
As it sings the tunes of every heartbreak
Wanting the endings to be simpler
Less painful
Dragons have visions
The past is gone
And the future is beyond their control
The dragon out side her room
Is still breathing
Just
As a single tear is seen trickling down his face
She holds on tight to the thought
That if a dragon can die of heartbreak
Then what hope is there for a girl as frail
And misunderstood as she
She lies beside him
When dawn breaks she finds herself alone
With a note left
'Gone back to the heart from whence I came'
Look after your heart well
For if the dragon in you finds it needs to be free from you
The pain must have been so strong
But now he has released that which he could no longer hold onto
He can once more be connected
To all that you have become

Your skin is so soft
Maybe for just a while you will come
And rest your weary brow
By my side
I know we are but friends
Just lie with me a while
Your skin is so tender
I will not touch of course im sorry
Come close your eyes
Your hair flows so freely
No I promise not to take hold
Of your soul
In the night
And set fire to your passions
Willing you to show me more
But we are just friends
Your mind is so troubled
Come tell me all
I will smooth away your troubles
Lie still
Peacefully
Beautifully
Deliciously
Oh how i want you
We are but friends
How sensual this moment
Before
Before
Before
How can I put myself in this place of temptation
How can you lie there
Knowing
knowing
knowing
That i want to devour you whole
I must
I must
I must
Release my chains of frustration
Your skin is so Tender
Your skin so so smooth
Please hold me
Please
I just want to be your friend

Sometimes you will see me walking corridors ahead
Unable to catch up
The hurrying  crowd will push by
Not understanding
Or knowing you even exist
I turn
You wave
I'm sorry
I need to feel free
To be grounded within this skin
I stretch
I moan
I long
And then I return
Back to fold in which I belong
Brother
Never worry that we are lost to each other
The ties are strong
And like blood
Poetry is our bond
The beauty
The honesty
The bravery to express who we really are
Creates forces which
Will never sleep
They ever beckon you home
To this madness
Houses change
Colours illuminate your face
And shadows are all we can see
At times things seem bleak
Then we notice that
For a while we will all congregate in the same halls
Why
Because we are interconnected by threads
Of golden silk
Heaven illuminates our souls
And once again we shine
We know the hate
We know the love
We feel the pain
The misery
We council
We pass the brick
Which builds the bridge
We knock down walls which devide each other
We will always be
Beacuse
Just because thats the way
It was always meant to be

x

Tonight I need the glow from an open fire
I need the embrace of warm coals
Which blackens my mind
But sets fire to my desires
Tonight I don't wish to sleep alone
Upon a cold sheet full of the
Yesterday's memories  
The warmth you left
lingers in corners
And whisper's my name
I look within
But find you gone
Long ago
When love was real
The fires grew strong
And the night's were full of the scent
Which only belongs to my heart
Tonight I search the grate for signs of you
Embers linger
There is a truth
That lies here
It feels so hollow
Tonight  I need the glow from an open fire

Once I thought we were friends
You know the kind
Who would watch each others backs
Offer a few kind words through the darkness
A cosmic hand to hold
when the family I had created around me
couldn't understand
or even hear my screams for help
Not that you heard me screaming for help
You didn't need to
You just had to be there
Needing
I think it strange how friendship can mean so little
How do we fall away
How in fact do we crawl through the misunderstanding
There is much I don't understand I guess
So I leave you measages
Which you never answer
I think of you
Hidding in corners
Watching from spaces
Looking within moments
The surreal
Is the fact that I know very soon your come out
From your hidding place
You who are your own prisoner
I will count to five now
And then I will expext to hear your voice
Will I hear it I wonder

Everything was fine
Until
You told me you
Didn't believe in forever
Now I didn't need
you to believe
that we were forever
It's just
I thought you were
Special
And you are
But I could never
Love you till eternity
Meet you on the other side
Get lost in thinking your
My soulmate
Because
When the curtain falls on your days
You will be nothing
But dust
And me
I will be wandering the never never
Still searching
But thats ok
Because on the other side all hearts
Dance to the tune of love
And all are one
With the hand of life

You laid the room
Just the way
I would of laid it myself
you held on tight
No one heard the sound of you leaving
Until it was too late
Whispers told of a life cut short
But no one really knew the truth
Blood runs deep in hearts full of pain
Glass is so transparent
A bit like men with no reson to lie
But still they do
The drugs take over in the end
Or is it mindless delusion
Whatever it was
Whatever the reason
Its so silent now your not
around  
Can you hear this pin drop
shh
Listen carefully
To the beating of our hearts
You may find the reason
Why you should of screamed for help

With these hands
I could save myself
from falling
I could reach out
before the sunsets upon the day
I could write a love song
To remind you
of why you love me
With these hands
I could build a wall
I could stop you from coming close
With these hands i could
command a thousand men
To strike the enermy
or to love thy neighbour
before the dawn
But no
Tonight when
I  use these hands
I will place them togeather
And pray
For my prayers will save
not just you and I
My prayers will reach further
Knock down bigger walls
Hold the hearts of all that need
When the prayer is answered
By the source which is so pure
And loving
that it can
Save our souls
Tonight I will not fall
And with these hands
I will reach out and hold
onto the heart of the world
In return I know I am safe
to love without fear
Of ever losing who I have become

The journey of my tears
Brings me back
Yet still
The doors are still closed
And your no where to be seen
Tears fall in vain
You play your games
But you will never win

Today there is a spanner
Stuck within the machinery
Life has twisted as many times
As it has decided to turn
And leaves me
Running short of the finishing line
Today the sun doesnt seem to
Warm that place inside that hurts
Today the pains of yesterday
Seem to penetrate my body
Like a car that fails its mot
I book in for a service
And hope for the best
But I thought I had smoothed the cracks
Left every stone unturned
Let go
Of all I couldn't control
Yet life leaves me weak
Teaching me that control is not the answer
May the storms blow over
As I know they surely will
May I feel the sun once more
Warming my soul
Take from me now
That which brings me down
May my fear
Which ever cell it dwells
Within me
Be scattered upon the wind
I really havent got time for all this
I'm needed
Always needed
So need to be strong
Within my fabric
Their seems to be a tare that needs sewing

Take from me now
What does not belong
I have paid the price
And laboured sweetly
In memories of golden corn

See my whisperings
With ears of understanding
And know that this is
Something I will
Not be part of

So as to life
I expect you
To take it back from me
I have passed the line
in which
I will do the correct thing
And be humbled

Inside will be a moments pain
And in glory the light
Will shine through
Another day
Another year

Take from me
What I do not desire to own
Take from me
My own

So here we are
I never thought you would stab me in the back
But hey
What are friends for
You always were one crazy sucker
I remember the time
You made me promise to love you forever
We sliced open our veins
And shared our blood
You said
I was your blood brother
Friend
You are no brother of mine
Back stabber
No I'm not your friend
I am nothing to you now
but a memory
One that will defianately
Not keep you warm
Within the womb of your old age
Not now
Because sweet friend
The last time you said cut me here and share
I forgot to sew you up again
I forgot to undo
The thing that we had created
I was fed up
Bored to death
Death
Has such a nice ring to it
I wont cut myself anymore
Not now your gone
Don't forgive me
Please I never want
Even that from you
I hope your bleeding brings you
All the desires and twisted peace
That you deserve

If only I could hold this moment
Within the eye of my dreamtime
Just so long
that it will turn into the reality
I so desire
When moments turn to look for minutes
Within the hour of your day
Will you then be free
To sail the clouds of knowing
And swim the ocean of understanding
Through which window
Do you desire
To fly
Come make no joke of freedom
It is real when only
You are free to ride the waves
And caress the storm which
Lay upon your doorstep
Ride high the ever knowing
Silence will be within
Your heart
Keep it safe
Keep it hidden
This way
You will be able to keep it forever
Within the eye of your dream time

To cushion the effects
that life has thrown in your face
To collect in cupboards the memory
of your faceless expression
To televise the news you sent to me
so freely leaving out the best bits
So i could create a world of my own
And the table is laiden with
All the good things money could never buy
Step lightly on the carpet of roses that
I have place for your tender feet to step
oh my there is so much freedom in your smile
I sigh long and hard
not knowing which way you have turned
or which tunnel you are hidding in

If I balance on a tight rope
Will my existence be sweeter than if
I topple this way and that
I think my lesson is in trying to stay
grounded whilst still balancing
Maybe I could on occations
topple off and sit awhile enjoying
What lies just past my veiw of thinking
And then maybe you would be so kind
To take my hand whilst I steady myself
Ready for the next topple this way or that

Underneath that barbedwire exterior
You smile your graces
and pretend you are untouchable
Within the lapse of reason you have created for yourself
there is a greater meaning to this all

I hate to be the one who justifies your reasons
and destroys your ideas of endless confession
There is no one who can help you here
Except yourself
And im not sure your ready or willing to even try

The sun sinks low behind the hills of repentence
Can you see the blood flowing
Like a stream unto the sea
Can you hear your memories of submission
As the wind gently flows through the bows of you mind

Shh
Listen carefully to the murmurrings of thine heart
The rythmic enchantment plays out the tune at the base
Of thine existence and yet you still move forward never
knowing where your journey will end

Others are touched by the sadness that surrounds you
Thinkingly they try to save you from the gift life has bestowed
upon your fevered brow and yet you look to them with
Contempt they are the ones who never understood
They become mirrors in which you see what you will never have

Leave my side you say to thine brothers and sisters
Who try to walk the same path be it for whatever reason they may have
In this difficult time move freely away from me with no guilt
Worry not for me as this is just as I had chosen for my life to be
Look upon your own life before looking upon mine
Change in your life what you will and leave me to my path for one day I too will surely shine

Peacefully you climb forward taking momentary steps backwards
before again  travelling  forward
This is the way it was always ment to be
Others must look upon their own sun and smile
upon their own children
Keeping them from harm in the winter of our world