so him right?
too perfect for anyone's good
even in his "flaws"
I see more glory than the most tearful of gorgeous moments
could bring the most dreadful of bastards to their knees
including myself-
a heartless wench
I suppose
but not so much with him,
no
with him
I am the most feeble of all human-like things,
honored to be vulnerable before him
and it's a shame
but it isn't
it's a blessing to be even considered a maybe something in his mind
let alone a one and only
and every day since the second that we met
I wake up a little bit better
more of what one should be
because I know that he Is
and knowing that he approves of me
is more important
than any pointless thought, any reluctance
a former me may have ever been silly enough to believe.

Sometimes, all the times
I pretend you are here
to wake up and smile the sun to life-
I imagine you beside me
close enough that I needn't move to kiss your hair
you're already there
eager to just be
with me
and the day
and though nothing else matters
not the space nor the place
but just your face
your hands and lips of course
it's nice to know
that you can take part
in experiencing everything with me
such as the ways
that air molecules fill our room
bursting with energy
and the pieces of furniture
are gathered round to see such a sight
two silly humans
becoming crazier and crazier
about each other
one another
and on those days we can't be together
I just remember
you are in this world existing so beautifully
and my mind may rest a bit more easily

I see you on beautiful days
the kind that make your heart stop and your mind take mental pictures,
when the sun is setting just rightly enough
that shadows are long but the day isn't sad because it's ending,
merely continuing its natural cause-
you are in those shadows,
your figure mirrored in their calm, lenghty presence
and in the words of the birds
speaking joyfully-
it's you they gossip and sing for.
The little fragments of light on the water
when the wind hits it like a painting
those are your eyes
your smile
the gentle paper noise of the leaves on their branches
that is your voice
speaking to me in a way nobody else has ever tried
a different language
all our own.
You're in the air itself
so clear and cool and mind numbingly brilliant
it's all you
even miles and hours apart
even while you're doing your actions and I'm completing my routine
and even when I feel lonely without you to enjoy such a wonderful sight
you are already here,
to selflessly make the sensations of existence just that much better.

How soon is too soon
to dance under the moon
stars for angels
your eyes the reason to smile
or are they the reason for all the positives ever?
Quitely so
I like you a lot
more than you realize,
and not so much you-
your role in this physical 3D world
or even your actions, words
but mostly just the sum total
of all you have been, are becoming
the energy you unknowingly give me
an essence I suppose
of someone greater than man
aand yes you are one
a damn fine specimen to be exact
but it's as if I am subliminally attracted
to your very existence
on a level that makes me believe in a God
in beautiful souls,
yours being the most divine
and I can feel it
the moment it enters a room
near or far
anywhere in the world
I know that you Are,
your physical self holding all that is You
and every second is made more perfect, serene
because you are gracing this world
with your being that is so right
I am willing, no grateful for the chance
to be vulnerable to such a person,
bow in your presence,
feel all you are
and to offer up all I have
to make you happy, prove my worth
and in the moments we are together
I can assure you
all the atoms in my body freeze,
my heart becomes still
for you have such a calming affect
that all I can do is smile
and hope to all that is in the universe
that I may somehow give you
as much happiness
as you selflessly give me.

May I just say
That you are more lovely
More imaginative
Than any I have ever experienced;
You put the D in my Day
The smile on my laugh
Make me feel all kinds of silly
As if falling
Down a wonderful hole
And I keep falling and falling
And just when I think I’ve reached some sort of destination
You appear
And the journey continues
And we fall together
Because nobody else is around,
It’s just me and you
And our tumbles of ridiculous words
Not knowing which way is up
But it’s ok
Because as long as you’re by my side
Touching my fingers
Breathing the same existence
I know it’s ok to be me and to be us
And to be
And it’s beautiful,
Knowing you’re in this world
Walking its planes, seeing its glory
And it makes my ribs feel like they’re expanding with all of the sun’s light,
Stars in your mouth
And it’s alright
To lose time and money and energy
Because with you
All is found.

it's been done
sharing the fate
times and goes
like a campfire
smoky and wonderful
but it has to be washed out of hair
smell far too intrusive
exclusive sighs and thighs
couldn't stop you if I wanted to
but who would?
not even the saddest or the maddest,
the crazies or the foolish
it would be simply unethical
downright wrong
to deny such attempts
such thoughts
because in the beauty of beauty
it's the damn best

And it's pretty cool
when you're you and I'm me
though I don't know what to say
what could I?
I want to,
say anything at all
if it'll make me feel better about wasting your time,
making you dislike me more
each second that passes
I can only assume
that you are merely humoring my childish attempts and desires
though I'm not entirely sure what they even are,
what I want from you
what you mean
but it's still nice
very enjoyable
so it can be allowed to survive
at least for a while
until it dies
decomposes and I'm forced to face truths
the kinds I hate
though I also want them
because you are just far too intimidating
for me to be around for too long.

So what will I do
with a stupid little boy
who won't just think I'm great
when all I want
is to hold his hand?
He should know better,
that I don't just fall for just any old male,
may be attracted,
may even think they're cool,
want to do naughty things,
but to actually feel
that's a new one-
maybe he knows
that my heart feels like a pathetic mess
and gets embarrassingly excited when we speak,
maybe he is fully aware
of the effect he has on me,
how I want him to be happy,
want him to be near
want to sleep beside him
maybe I'm just getting a little ahead of myself,
maybe I only like his kind words and attention
and really
we would not work together at all-
but I don't care,
it feels too good to not want to pursue,
just wish I knew
and that it didn't matter
because there's millions of boys
some probably even better
but for right now
I'm trapped on this one
picking myself apart
hoping for some miracle moment
where he shows up with flowers
and some deep poetry shit
and I can be
like a little girl from the tv
beautiful and perfect
and the sun will set more beautifully than ever before.

Ooh you make me
So frustrated
With myself
But it should be you
That I want to punch
Because
It’s hard to read
You,
I want to,
Just know what you’re thinking
About my existence
And speaking with you,
If you get the silly feelings
Smile randomly throughout the day
Because you know the other is doing something somewhere,
But I can’t know such things
You won’t tell
Perhaps you have nothing to say,
And it’s all in my head
This thing I want to call a maybe us
And really
We’re just two people
In the world-
But really
I can’t accept that
Because really
You’ve made me happier
Than any other mother fucker I’ve met
In a long, long
Ever.

Come on over and see for yourself
What 30 years of long nights
Faster than the speed of speed
Crack can break your mother’s pride
Lungs like bubbles
Used to be lovely
Now nothing but a sorry sight
For any eyes
Especially mine
Wouldn’t like to look upon
Empty skull of a used to be person
And see only
A lifetime of poor decisions
And a desire for peace of mind
Never satisfied.

Oh,
If love were an option
A yes or a no
If it were perhaps a choice that a person may allow
Once they reached the legal age to love and be loved
I would run away
From such a decision
Because it is too much of a life sentence
Too much to feel,
To be so dependent on another
To need and to be so admiring
That I believe I would become violently ill
Every moment that I awoke from my loveless slumber
And become a robot
Capable of only positivity
And I know
That I can belong only to myself.

Dear you
Why are you so sad?
You must know
How absolutely magnificent you are,
How when you look at me
I believe
Space shatters
Because the molecules in the air between us get tighter,
They can sense your immense
Whatever the hell you are,
How fucking amazingly you exist
There
Everywhere you go,
You’re you
And it makes me proud
To say I know
The most interesting
Perfect man
Who breathed the same air as the unworthies.

Little lively lovelies
Sitting in a tree
What do you see?
Does the planet look so different
Ten feet higher?
I can get up there,
Conspire, desire
Want to be
In the trees
Where the beautiful things
Open their beautiful wings
And don’t even fall
When they jump for joy
But live in the sky
Like wonderful moving paintings
Of color and form
Just a swarm
Of frenzy in a new degree.

Could I be
Your little lady?
Don’t have to tell
Anyone at all
Just want to be
Yours and yours
And nobody else’s
I can keep secrets
Would like to be one of yours
Although I’d want to shout it
To random people in streets,
From the furthest star from this point of the universe
That I belong
Wholly and 100%
To you.

What would you think
if today
the sky began to shrink
becoming nothing
until we were no longer protected by a blue blanket
but could only see everything
the universe
no atmosphere
no clouds
just all that truly is
lightyears away
stars and galaxies would cheer
for our courage,
our unprecedented step into the fearful truth
and we'd laugh
because it's not so scary
when all is revealed
to be nothing more
than better than you could have ever imagined.

Let's say
for instance
that you make me feel
like a wild animal who wants to make you all mine
in many ways
some that you would probably find enjoyable
and let's just suggest
that I want to be
yours in just about every way you can think of
mental, theoretical and physical
of course
more than anything
I'd rather like
to be playing in your sheets
with you,
of course,
such things aren't quite as fun when alone
we can just be a couple of silly people
becoming gods
together
we can make the world beautiful
from within the privacy and secrecy
of walls
thin enough to disturb neighbors
we'll make it a little game
see who can
drive the other crazy enough
to be locked up
forever-
and ever and ever more
I will spend my hours
learning every nerve ending
every temptation
of yours
I'm a good little learner
and you're a wonderful teacher
let's just be terribly perfect
and do nothing
except each other
until the universe decides
it's time for existence to nullify
and then
we can just say
we knew happiness more than
any motherfucker
could ever hope to lie.

He says he wants to travel the world
with me, of course
and I say
I think that's one hell of an idea
you got there
in your head
which I think is pretty damn great
acceptable in my eyes
I think about you
more than you'd like to think about
and I just want you to know
although I'm not good enough
(trust me)
I want to be,
want to be yours
in the sort of way
that allows for sweet walks
romancing talks
want to hold your hand
and just do shit
like read books
and nap
and go groccery shopping;
I want to do anything with you
because with you
it all becomes
infinitely more worth doing.

Sincerely yours,
The word of the day
Some could say,
If they had the right mind to speak such
And even if
Then and because
If there ever was
A fated line of will be’s
Would it include
Anything like this?
Like all of us, causing a fuss
In the muck of cerebral sludge
Just some lazy ole son-of-a-someone
We all are
I think
Don’t I?
Course not
If I did
Would I be
Here at all?
I would be
Out in the there
You know where,
The places I can’t see, don’t know
Because, fuck.

I’m feeling awfully selfish
So listen-
One time I thought it’d be cool to be a person,
One with feelings and thoughts and one hell of a body
But it was work, let me tell you
To be so mortal
It was uncomfortable, caring and loving and dealing with necessities
So I left it
Left my skin and drifted away
Like the breeze
I was gone
And I do not intend
To be quite so human
Ever again.

He used to say
The kind of shit to make you smile
You know,
The words that mean a certain something to you and only you
Because the rest of the world is too stupid to realize
Beauty in the simplest degree
A nothing in the sense of the word
And those words
Make your bones feel like art
And not the crappy kind
But the type that makes you cry
Because you don’t know why,
But you know it means a hell of a lot
Because it was from a living soul
Not a dead one,
Not a corrupt one,
But one so pure and appealing
Capable of suffering though never had a bad day
Ever
And those words were the things worth singing for
Worth breaths in the night sky
As clichéd as lovers in lust and kids in confusion
It was all and all and all
One could ever.