mike-westWhisper

American

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Facebook (Sung to the melody of the song "Silence")Hello Facebook my old friend. / I'm reading posts on you again. / Up at 2:30 in the morning

41

Dec 27, 2018

A Weird DreamHere's a dream for someone to analyze. I was eating this stuff I was finding like a snack food but I didn't know what it was or where I was finding it. I just knew it was the best thing I ever tasted. It had a waxy texture that kinda stuck to my teeth and reminded me of perhaps candle wax but It was so good that I ran around to all my friends to get them to try it but no one would. In fact they were appalled that I was eating it at all. Eventually, as I continued to eat the stuff like I was addicted because I was, me friends started to chastise me and threaten to end our friendship if I didn't stop so I started to sneak eating it so no one would see me doing it. Eventually though, I got caught by my brother who acted very disappointed in me. So he threatened to commit me to an asylum if I didn't stop eating the stuff. I explained how tasty and good it was and that I didn't want to stop. He then told me in a stern voice to look at what I was eating so I looked down and in my hands were these very dark brown dried up cat turds that I was apparently retrieving from the litter box but I didn't remember where I got them from. As the realization of what I was eating dawned on me, I instantly became horrified. So horrified that I woke up and sat straight up in my bed. It was so vivid that I had to go to the bathroom and wash my mouth out. I think I will remember this dream for the rest of my life.

1

Jun 2, 2017

Where are all the Unicorns?Long ago when the time came for two of every animal to board Noah's ark to avoid the coming flood, every animal, except the Unicorns, made it onto the boat because the unicorns were too busy frolicking and playing in the grass. So when the flood came and the unicorns saw that they were going to drown they cried out "Oh Lord, please save us from the rising water that we may not drown!" On hearing their cries and seeing the unicorns in such danger, God asked them "Why did you not board the ark as you were told to?" And the unicorns replied "We were too busy playing and forgot. We are sorry! Please help us!" So God, having mercy on them, changed them into whales so that they would not drown and would survive the flood. And that is why the narwhal whales have horns and why unicorns no longer exist.

1

May 19, 2017

We think Santa Smells (Sung to "We are Santa's Elves)** ** ** ** ** ** We think Santa smells! / We think Santa smells. And he smells like hell / It's not to laugh 'cause Santa needs a bath!

19

Dec 22, 2016

Little Princess PerfectLittle Princess Perfect without a single flaw / Thought that she was perfect in every way she saw / But one day she ran into a crazy, orange man

36

Nov 20, 2016

I Thought I Heard You LaughingI thought I heard you laughing there not far from me / So I turned to look where I thought you'd be / But much to my dismay as I became aware

31

Jun 8, 2016

What Is Reality?Is reality mostly empty space? / Or all our experiences in this place? / A fleeting smile on a loved ones face,

20

Dec 18, 2014

Food PoisoningAnimal Crackers and my soup / Undigested in my **** / All the food I ate today

34

Jan 18, 2014

Pooey, Poo (Sing to the Scooby Do Theme) By Mike WestPooey, pooey, poo. Gee, I smell you. It's time to take a bath now. / Stinky, stinky, doo, you friends do to. You reek and oh you stink, wow! / So could you hurry to the shower and rub some soap all over you *** Don't hold back!

6

Oct 9, 2013

My Only ChildMy only child, whom I love / Angels sent you from above / As pure to me as a white dove

40

May 17, 2013

Hello PoetryVoting