When you love someone
more than they will ever love you
It grinds you down.
Of self esteem and ability to experience joy
Occur when someone is betrayed maliciously
By someone they legitimately love.
The only remedy for this agony
Is to surrender wholeheartedly to your love,
Either they love you as much as you love them,
Or you die,
In which case,
It won't matter.
Love is arsenic killing the bacteria in the milk,
And slowly poisoning your spirit.
The only antidote is surrender.
The bloodred silk sheets are cool and sleek,
like a snake you slither across.
Seductive viper, with coal black eyes.
You suprise me in my evening slumber,
pulling down the sheet
you expose my naked body.
You savor the sight,
like a lioness over her prey,
you pounce pinning me.
You always awaken me this way,
and you catch me at attention,
waiting for you.
So I glide inside as our loins collide,
in my candlelit chamber
our screams of pleasure are trapped inside.
I cannot hide my desire,
for this passionate union, of gasping mouths
alternately harsh and gentle groping hands,
I reach up to touch your face, and you suck on and bite my fingers,
and you can taste the sex in my fingertips.
More than breathing I need to fall asleep inside you.
Warm fluids on our thighs
We can change the sheets tomorrow.
So many beautiful
that die unconsumed
or else we eat our own meals
or throw them out in disgust,
Why keep a log of failures
when the redundancy of its content
only illustrates our foolishness.
Worshipping sex and violence as dark gods
because we are all excitation driven animals.
We fail to comprehend the divinity of these acts.
A merging of twin energies, such as these
creates wild vortexs of contrary paradoxes,
overwhelming conundrums of need and desire.
We beg for destruction,
for we know that the longing can only be dulled,
the aching throb creeps along our day,
seeping in to enslave us in this cage.
In the horrific spiraling mania,
hands reach out, but loving arms are torn apart,
with declarations of desire and dedication
being shredded and scattered to whirlwind.
Long ago, I said this, with a foul mouth,
and you deserved so much better,
So I will say it again, so that perhaps this time
it will adhere to your mind, and fuse with your spine...
You are beautiful in the mirrors of my eyes,
and I carry your image stapled to my brain,
with the words
I love you,
carved into my frontal lobe
with a ceramic knife,
forged out of the powdered bones
of our failures.
Our victory lies
in knowing that our restless lips
await each other with all the patience they can muster
until I am able to touch you
and draw you to me,
so that I can pull forth
the divinity inside of you,
and merge it with mine
in a maelstrom of sex and violence.
The spiritual and corporeal depths of your beauty
transmute cliche into novelty,
ridiculous hyperbole and silly fantasy
become literal reality.
My paltry verse shall always fail to convey
the way in which your beauty imbues me with conviction.
All of your incomparable charms,
have conquered my doubts.
I wish only to be with you,
and to dwell together with you
in the luminescent radiance of our love.
When our bodies meet
we release a heat that burns like a thousand suns.
This weary countenance of mine
is transformed in an instant
when you smile at me, and tell me
you love me, as much as I love you.
And I laugh, because I know it can't be true.
How can anyone love me as much as I love you?
I feel such power coursing through me,
when I think of our love.
With you I become everything,
without you I am nothing.
Every moment we are apart
I dwell in the radiance
of the time we shared together.
It is a collection of moments that shall never fade away.
Through cerebral catabolism
I devour my past,
and taste the delicacies of my memories.
I sustain myself on the spirit of your loving affection,
and the fantastic myriad of tactile recollections
of your yielding, warm, supple skin.
Like silk spun from flesh, every caress
sends reciprocating waves of elemental ecstasy,
careening down the nerve endings,
like out of control engines of pleasure.
I cannot help but sigh a single sharp exhale,
of contentment coupled with sadness.
Yet I relish every sigh, that I release
when I sigh for you.
I would shoot myself in both feet
and walk across the salt flats in summer,
to place a single fingertip on your lips.
Do it now yourself, and see
the sensual sensations your body delivers
in every square inch of your loveliness.
Voices may be silenced,
heads may be severed.
Hearts may be infected,
and overwhelmed by hatred.
But love can never be overwhelmed.
Love can be censored, and enslaved,
and deranged, and mismanaged,
but never fully eliminated.
I would slash out at the fascists,
fire shots into the face of the tyrants,
but my arm has atrophied,
my eyes have glazed over,
my vision has dimmed to shadows.
If it were not for the love
I myself have already spread,
and for the love I carry, like a perfect parasite
clinging to my essence, like a loving tick,
I would already have quit.
If I could shout out my anger,
if I could give voice to the voicelessness
But all I have the energy to do
is to simply state,
that while my words do not ring out
from the shadows like they once did,
I am still here watching, and one day I will speak again.
I kiss and curse, and caress and slash, and sing for and spit at, all of you.
I love all of you.
I need some time alone, to refocus
my art, to stoke my anger, and distill my love.
I am stepping away,
but I will not run away,
I will return.
We live on through memories,
whether our own, or others.
Your memories linger upon my senses,
even as I pen these lines.
Even If I wanted to, I could
not, would not leave.
Calling what I feel for you
is just applying a symbol
to something that is too powerful
to be defined.
My feeling for you all...
I could spend an eternity
enjoying your loveliness
from the neck up alone.
The gentle contours of your collar bone
I would graze ever so lightly with my lips.
With kisses I would climb
to the throbbing artery in your throat,
I could kill
an entire day
with my hands
and my mouth
on your neck.
But then I would neglect myself
the singular pleasure,
of your wondrous lips,
the image of which I carry with me
in the gallery of my mind,
amongst the memorialized pleasures that have been bestowed upon my eyes.
But my love for your lips, pales in comparison to the single minded adoration
your luminescent eyes command.
Ever since I have seen,
those eyes have played over me
strumming the chords of my passion
with wanton abandon.
I could spend a joyous lifetime
staring into those eyes,
but the rest of your perfect head
would be neglected,
and I couldn't live with the thought
of your ears not being kissed,
the lobe gently sucked upon
soft kisses distributed
on the tip of your nose,
both perfect eyebrows,
from crown to chin.
Then after spending some more time
on the slender column of your neck
our lips would once again unite
our eyes would lock.
As I feasted on the luscious delicacy
that is you
from the neck up.
My love for you
is like a padded cell.
Inside which my desire thrashes about,
ranting and moaning
like the spectre of our passion.
It is a madness that cant be cured.
A mental illness of the heart,
that leads me to howl in the night.
If there were a cure,
I would not take it.
No therapy can relieve this horrific longing.
I shall giggle and rave
and pound my head
against the padded wall
of our love
until the frontal lobotomy
of your touch
soothes the raging lunatic
inside my soul.
Why do you wear
that sullen look my love?
Why do your words tumble
from your mouth in a jumble?
What has happened to the fiery passion
that once burned in your incomparable heart?
What could possibly have happened
to quell such a brilliant blaze?
Was it my love, the denial thereof,
the acknowledgement of needing someone?
Was it something beneath my actions,
some meaning imperceptible to those less observant?
Who would you like for me to be?
Who is it you want?
When will you simply accept me the way I am?
When will you smile again, be happy again?
What would you have me do, to prove to you
that after all that has happened
I still love you?
Every moment we are apart
is like a vast ocean
The most melancholy melodies
cannot compare to the silence
in which you have left me.
I think of the love we shared,
those incomparable nights
and wondrous days,
our arms around each other,
our lips merging with each other
our eyes ever open, unwilling to be without
the vision of each other,
even for a moment.
Now my eyes are scrunched shut
as I cry incessantly.
The thought of you
is the most potent lacrimating agent in existence.
Twin saline rivulets run
like rivers of despair,
they cut channels down my cheeks.
Those who look upon me laugh
at my hollow sorrow, my pathetic sobs.
I care not what onlookers think
they can mock and deride me
all they want.
I want only
We travel through this life
inflicting pain upon each other.
We open old wounds,
and callously pick at each others scabs.
We burn each other.
Like solar flares
some of us burn bright and violent.
But beneath all the suffering, and cruelty
there lurks a fleeting shadow
We swallow our own pain,
open new wounds,
and carelessly pick at our scabs.
We burn ourselves.
Like wolves to the moon
we howl out our desires.
But beneath all the masochism, and self flagellation
there stands a definitive avatar
of our love.
Pain is an inevitability
this we know...
but if we can find hope,
and we can love each other,
joy is just as inevitable.
I hold the pieces
of our shattered hearts,
a frozen red handful
of our failed love.
If I could piece them back together,
and if I could sacrifice the warmth of my body
in order to thaw them,
I would certainly do so.
If I could tear open
both of our breasts
and place my heart in your chest
and yours in mine,
you know I would do it.
If I could revive the flames
of our love
with the intensity of my passion,
strike a spark to the smouldered ashes,
I would give my eyes
to do so.
But alas my darling...
I fear such things are beyond my power.
All I can do is hand you half
of the mingled shards of our hearts,
and take half for my own.
So that you would thereafter hold
half of my heart,
and I half of yours,
making us eternal equals
until our bodies grow cold,
We wander through this life
donning a thousand masks,
all the while believing
that nothing we do is of any consequence.
and after countless failures
many give up.
But there is Hope!
There is always potential for growth.
The stagnant swamp we dwell in
year after year,
afraid of the criticisms of our youth,
the slingstones and arrows of our foes,
is not the only reality.
Lashing out and trying to kill
those who want to help us
It only makes us into the monster
that they think we are.
We are not monsters
We are beautiful angels.
Reach through the shadows.
Stop being afraid,
take my hand now!
There is hope.
For every last one of us.
No matter how hopeless
we may think we are.
Despair is the only illusion.
Shatter it, cast off your masks
and come walk with me.
I know who you are...
You know me...
I have lied before, tell me
Am I lying now?
I desire only
this life I now live,
in service to you
my remarkable lover.
Every single magical moment
you reveal to me
is a memory I will cherish
long after death overcomes me.
Eternal darkness is acceptable
if your voice will be there with me.
Let loose the hounds of hell,
I care not, I am contented for once in this lifetime.
For I have found a remarkable woman.
Your wit and brilliance dwarfs the minds
of the most elite.
You will forever be my one and only,
even if this world were to crash into nothingness.
I will always be in your service,
to me you are everything,
Even if I know,
you will only tear me
The tantalizing delights
that your body possesses
hold me in a visegrip of longing.
The contours of your flesh
are the vast oceans of surrender
surrounding the perfect prison island
of our love.
The sheer vastness of my yearning
overpowers my senses
until I wander insensible
in search of you.
Through walls of fire I walk unscathed,
such is the pure irresistible power you wield,
like twin blades of passion,
you cut me down with your beauty.
Unimaginable merriment radiates
from every single cell of your wonderful body.
Each touch you grant me
fills me overflowing
with righteous roistering intensity.
To be beside you for eternity
is my primary life's ambition.
In the tips of your fingers,
in the plush yielding of your lips,
in the moist vault of revelry
concealed between your hips,
I have finally found
If I possessed all the riches of the earth
I would lay them at your feet,
just to see you smile.
When your lips part,
revealing your resplendent mirth,
all else fades into darkness
in comparison to your luminosity.
Like a ten thousand volt electromagnet
this iron body is dragged unresisting to you.
It is almost a sin,
no it is a sin to block that smile
with my own light consuming lips.
So I sin
again and again,
I cannot stop.
So total and absolute
is the power of your smile.
Your lips are the closest thing
that this blackhearted sinner can ever hope to experience.
As our mouths connect
I can feel the bold white radiance fill my body.
It is impossible to believe
that life holds a purer pleasure than this.
If it does I don't need it.
All the riches of the earth cannot compare
to your lips.
All that I have I will give to you.
My love for you transcends all reason.
Whatever you want of me
my body, my mind, my eyes
all these things are yours.
All I ask is you show me patience.
I wish to give all my love to you,
but I am only one man...
and I am weak.
I may need to walk through the pines
to clear my mind.
Or sleep during the day, to replenish my vigor.
But know this...
every time that I return
you shall be the first one I seek out.
my one and only love.
for whom I have risked my well being,
sacrificed my all in service of your love.
All I need is for you to treat me exactly as you have up till this day,
please my love
all I ask of you,
is a little more...
If I could sing the sweetest melodies,
I would cut out my tongue, and give it to you
so music would follow you wherever you might go.
If my fingers could strum the air,
and draw forth streams of dazzling notes,
I would cut off my hands, and give them to you,
so I could play for you for eternity,
and stroke your cheek gently, and soothe you
when you are alone.
If my eyes could see into your inner essence,
and draw forth your inner beauty
in a chorus of magnificence
I would cut out my eyes and give them to you,
so I could look at you for eternity,
and unleash your inner light.
As the raucous cacophony
drowns out the dazzling sounds that swirl all around you
I would give my entire being
just to bring music to your life,
so that maybe your loneliness might fade,
as the silence is mastered
by the music of my love.
I wish that I could murder the silent moments,
annihilate the cacophonic jeers.
But such things are beyond my grossly limited powers.
Until we are brought back together
and I might play for you and sing for you
all through the day,
until then my words will have to suffice.
Just know, that wherever you are
I am singing for you, even when
all you can hear is silence.
Believe me dear one,
your song is being sung
What umbrage have I committed against my love?
Which insult weighs heaviest
upon her patience?
My callous actions continually hurting
the one I desire above all others.
Is it my carelessness?
My failure to think before acting?
Is it my salacious nature
that overwhelms her multifaceted heart?
How does one acquire forgiveness?
What must a man do, to clean
the slate of his transgressions?
Must I suffer, if so
then leaving me alone this way
is punishment enough.
But if angry words need be vented
then vent them upon me.
I shall remain silent
until your rage subsides,
and you give me leave
to speak once again.
Forgive my umbrage my love.
I hold my tongue in anticipation.
I will do all I must to earn your forgiveness.
Until then, I wait faithfully
for your hand
to reach through the walls of my solitude,
and drag me back into your incomparable embrace.
She wields waves of want
that paralyze my flight.
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't,
The quest for her touch consumes my all.
So I turn inexorably
to meet her once again.
Her hand covers my eyes
the old lovers game,
I feel her rapid breath on my neck
as her lips graze my skin,
Guess who she sighs
as she kisses my ear,
moves to my neck
nibbles oh so gently,
sucks oh so lightly.
My love I say
as I crumble with my lust
and we fall
neither willing to let go
for even a moment.
Fall to the ground hard
hurting my back,
but as she prys open my grimace
with her tongue
the pain disappears.
There is only pleasure when she is near
delicious inviolable embrace,
the world shifts its axis
as clothes are shredded,
flushed with blood,
and rough hands.
Before our tryst is consummated
just as she arrived
she is gone.
I cry out into the darkness
comes her throaty response...
If you earn it.