Saying "I love you"
use to mean something
The time I have spent wallowing in the mud of pain is over
it's time to get out, clean up, and move forward
Caution and conformity caused me little pieces of myself over time
now, with basket in hand I'm picking up these flowers of myself, regaining spirit
Today, I'm walking the orchards with my friend
taking in all that blossoms on the trees, all that blossoms in love
Maybe, just maybe if I risk and throw caution to the wind by night fall
he will be mine, and it will be my eyes he will drown in forever
Just maybe, letting go of the fear of moving forward
will leave me naked and in love
May we all have our dreams come true inside these nights of a summers dream
What I love about you
Your resilience throughout any kind of weather
makes you the strongest person I know.
The way that your smile infects the crowd
as your carefree spirit constantly gives.
People of all ages flock to your energy
like moth's to a flame. I sit back
and sometimes watch the way you move.
There's some kind of magic in you
something that all of us crave
maybe the smile, the grace of spirit,
the tears you shed with us or for us
You bring out the best in me
I will love and treasure you always
you are my Earth Angel.
Born from the heavens and gifted
to all those who get a chance to love you.
I was reminded of all these moments
watching you in the crowd
it's like you have a light that shines
I will treasure you always my friend,
your magic is my magic.
We all watched you, letting go of life
It was like life was a chain link fence
and we watched as you spent
your days trying to chew your way through
It always seemed so suffice
you'd smile that smile while embracing the demon
because you still saw hope on the other side
This day was different
so much was lost
the struggle to hard
In silence for five hours
you struggled with the thoughts, pacing back and forth
fighting the voices inside your head
I can see the sweat pouring from your eyes
Today there was no answer, no hope
no fixing the pain inflicted...the sorrow caused
so today, gun in hand...you blew yourself
straight through to the other side
Looking back now seeing you gnaw
at the chain links...I wonder if I could have done more
maybe held you just a minute longer
or listened better with embracing ears
With a tear in my eye, memories intact in my heart
my good byes fall upon your rock hard shell
the chain link fence a symbol of your inner hell
I looked into the eyes of your children
searching for a glimpse of you
but you took that glimmer of joy from them
the minute the gun shot blew
A single Calla Lily is what I dropped on your grave today
a single meaningless gesture on your stone cold grave
Was there ever any one true moment?
(like you'd tell me now)
Was it me on your mind when?
(you know when you said I'd have to earn it)
Did you skip school the day they talked about truth?
(oh, you were screwing your teacher)
Sometimes I just wonder, when I'll quit wondering about "us"
(never, comes to mind)
Every morning I roll over...grab my phone
I can't wait to see if you have messaged me
then your words invade me, swallowing me whole
"You'll never hear from me again"
The phone is placed at my breast
where my heart beats...hands holding on tight
as I remember the you that I first met, then
"You'll never hear from me again"
At least for today, I will hold you in love and light
as I always have...at least for today
I'll be whispering you to me, wishing you were here until I hear
"You'll never hear from me again"
The morning fades and thoughts of what was
the feelings of what is, engulf my soul with the touch that is as
soft as a birds feather sweet to the senses...painful remembrance
"You will hear from me again"
When your life gives you moments of silence
When you allow yourself to remember the freedom to be
When you miss the me in you
When your done swearing at the moon
"I'll be here, waiting to hear from you..."
"If you loved me"
How could I love you anymore then I did?
Knowing you existed in this world alone
set my skin on fire
every word you spoke was a holy grail
your breath was mine in a singular life force
"you should have given me a chance to explain"
No need to explain what was right before my eyes
they betrayed you not me
your words stung like bathing in a bee's nest
(you even used the word love)
"You see, I do love you"
Can you tell me where it has gotten me?
"If this is the way you want it to end"
Words that ring through my ears
so untrue, yet a part of what I hear
Let me for a moment explain...
Loving you had no beginning or sense of end
no fake colorful flowers in an imaginary garden
just each day a new start...a new joy
Each season represents what I feel about our love
Spring holding hope for the new, that lives inside us
the unyielding adventure being born with each little
bud exploding from the earth.
Summer was a time of splendor while the lazy
days of our afternoons allowed us to love
oh, and make love.
Fall brought our Summer closer
like a hug from Nature a reminder of what is
and what isn't...a time of reflection and peace.
Winter cold held our hearts at the hearth at the cabin
where silk sheets soothed lovers skin
and overstuffed duvets warmed us in the cold
the fire flickering our reflections off the others face.
So to say, "If this is the way you want it to end"
is insane of you to think.
Can anyone stop the seasons from changing?
Then how could I ever change the seasons of my heart?
In that moment when it's just you and your little girl
and you inwardly smile at her and the sweet innocence
when you feel like you drown in her eyes and beauty
the moment when she turns and connects with your eyes
and for that second time stands still
There's nothing you wouldn't do to protect her
There's no way you would allow anyone to hurt her
how many daughters have you stripped innocence from?
how many have you built up the dream only to rape it away?
Remember that...the next time you look into your daughters face
Will she meet a man just like you someday?
Let's only hope better for her
Your self proclamation at being the beast
makes me laugh
I've never known a larger chicken
You act as though you don't love me
yet in the quiet of your black soul you know you do
I'm your twin flame you once said
You are running away
yet still looking back, pleading for more
Just one more time and you'll stop
Building walls around your heart
they are made of clay
Let it rain
You fell in love with me
and now we have to pay
empty hollows in two hearts
We met through innuendos
shared our secrets
our hope and dreams
nothing else mattered
The dark day of truth
was typed across the screen
"I'm married, you can let me go"
an uneasy feeling in my stomach occurred
while my heart began to scream
Walking away easily
passed months ago
you looked for an internet distraction
from the unfulfilled life you had
yet you fell with me, feelings began to grow
You want to leave me
hating to love me
loving to hate me
needing and wanting
craving to feel me
the friendship is lost
between moments stolen
and the hot passion that flowed across the screen
our souls forsaken, the hidden cost
You wouldn't take me home
You wouldn't date me
You just simply want to cyber fuck me
No sense in being second best
not just to the wife
you love so much but can't touch
but I drawn the line
at being second best to your dog in this life
Moments wrapped in lace
your words made love to my ears
awakening my skin
Laughter may have led to some tears
yet we went forward
opening my heart
Loving you came before you let me know
that loving you wasn't possible
Regrets are for fools
forever, lives in the smiles and joy we had
Dawn of the new day
you start it all over again
another lover, more laughter, more play
I will love you forever
I will never forget
until I thank-you when lying in the arms
of my lover