They call me a wreck-
I just supposed my ship was lost...
Trying to find peace
And a boy with hair like smoke
(billowing and whispy)
Who always got the best of me;
and I drop like an anchor
Whenever his light is on.

The first time i did it
A belt and a beam
When they cut me
Down my mother screamed
The doctor frowned
At my beauty marks
The shrinks they called
To put me in a box

The second time
Was panic pills
My mother cried
That I fit the bill
She choked me out
What could I say
I told her i just want
A Holiday

And the the tempo changed.

For my witty grapefruit breasts
My hair wrapped
Like a head dress
So they may say
What charm and grace
What a bitter soul
What a lovely taste
When they should find me
Swollen and ripe
My fat lined face
My clothes, my race
Twice now ive gone
Down the rabbit hole
Twice now they caught me-

They called you a dog
Its teeth were yellow
Rotting, cigarette and
Stink breath,

Gnarled skin around
The mouth
Laugh lines never existing
Only frowns fault.

Tar and wax and
Gunk, how else can
I say it-
- Your mouth, a treasure.

Riotous screaming
And bleak moans
Of let me go
I did, I held loosely

Canines with tartar
Can you imagine
The dentist?
He cried when he picked at

It rotted black now,
Gone beyond just
The absence of a
Smile forelorn,

Two surgeries and
Gauze and chunks
of gums, you
Wired yourself shut.

They yelled at you.
In the office, in
The school yard
Laughing, pointing

With a hand over your
Mouth you didn't
Bother to grin
Anymore, they did you in.

No operations could
Save that precious,
The innocence, you being
A victim.

smiling at myself
stretching the skin
across the skull it covers.
I would erase you
but then you'd be
forgotten.

trouble down the line
fools apoxyed to the
barstools they'll die in,
listen to the symphony
of gutter rain
just like me...

I changed who i was for you.
For you, amor, for you.