The rain poured as I stood at your grave, hiding my tears.
My fingers run along your name in the smooth stone.
The longing, aching, and despair scratches and sears
Into the deepest of my core as I am left to live alone.
There is no way to express the desolation of this place.
No way to define the lack of color and texture of life.
I am haunted forever, as I breathe, by your face.
I would just stop breathing to be with you, my wife.
Yet, I know the meaningless loss of life would anger you.
I fall to the ground, my hands against your carved name,
Pushing against it with all my might to push through
And fall into the world where you and I could share the same--
That same everything, our smiles, touches, smells, and hearts.
I cannot press through the stone. I cannot hold you ever again.
I rise from the bed, gasping, wide-eyed with a start,
The sunshine pouring through to awaken you then.
You place your arms around me comfortingly, smiling.
My embrace, clinging to you with need, relief, and laughter.
You are confused by my outburst and by my crying,
Yet, not even I could explain my glee thereafter.