Laurie Fisher
I enjoy summarizing stories or books into a poem. I also like to write about the emotions of others who have expressed themselves to me; and of course my own thoughts, emotions and experiences.
Stitched up and tied with a bow.
On my doorstep, it rang.
Sound bountiful in my ears.
Knocking now it wants to get this started.
Tapping in my head continues on.
Pounding in my head it continues on.
Pulsing in my head it, continues on.
On...on...on.
Natures wind blows hard
And nurture is not so sweet
Tornadoes brew
And volcanoes erupt
Yet nurture is still cold as the ice nature creates
A being lies still; corrupt.
Thunder clashes and the lightening follows
Wheres the middle ground?
Wheres my middle ground?
Sometimes it works.
When I grasp the pen tightly
Spreading words across a page
Letting go.
Other times I need to sweat
Sweat out the pain
And sweat out the fear
I need to sweat until I don't feel.
Letting go as my soles slap the pavement
Blurs of the grey sky and the green forestry surround me
Forgotten; the life that engulfs me.
Forgotten; the waves that slam me.
Forgotten; all the thought processes and memory.
Letting go as I slow and regain composure
Drenched in the sour pain that lived in me.
Imprisoned inside a house
With photos and mirrors
A kitchen table with apples in a bowl
TV's and electronics to fill silence with sound
Windows to view a different world
With bushes in the yard and mailbox in the front
But beyond that scenery lives a world changing immensely
I lay alone imprisoned in a timeless world
Seems could lay for hours and no one would even know
Somewhere beyond this I imagine I wouldn't feel so alone
In a place that lacks noise that fills every moment with tortuous sound
Not every foot step with a place to go
Not every mistake rubbed with rough alcohol into the wound
A place where I might enjoy the breath I breathe and the time I have left
You're too helpful
Push and shoving words of "wisdom" into my ear drum
Prognosis this and treatment that
Mind over matter
Happiness and gratitude
Stop with all your positive attitude
Belief and thought process this
and try this technique that
You're too helpful, don't you see?
Stop pulling out the terms and use your brain
You're killing me with kindness and it's driving me insane
Trying to bring peace, but all that you succeed is expressing your beliefs
You're not really listening, but offering up advice
Please just stop, you're too helpful.
I’ve lost hope each day and now my pocket is empty
Nothing but filth and ash
Breaking her bones breaking my bones
Tearing into grey matter ripping it open destroying it
God is a lie don’t you know
Perhaps that is all I know
Spawn of Satan, he resides in me now
Living my life for me
7:27 now and there’s not a god damn thing to show
Pitiful end of the day
I hang my head low and reside where all the hate must go
Try to shower it off me
Try to scrub the rage away
Try to flush the ugly down the drain
But it up-heaves and splashes into my face
Like acid on my skin
It dissipates into my pores and fades in
A solution is an answer is a new start is plan for action
My mind is a tangled mess is a upheaval of confusion is a plane of destruction
Your words are kind are intentions of rescue are helpful injections
My words are cold are harsh are screams of imperfect reflection
I am stained am bleached am covered in a negativity wave
I am fallen am failing am flailing
This day is everlasting is demanding is a revelation of my creation
My acts are grim are stern are unrelenting
Your forgiveness is comforting is awing is, undeserving.
Once upon a time I felt the sweet bristles lift me off the pavement
Up to a place I’d never been, a place I shall never lay my iris’s on again
I squeezed and arched to fit my anatomy with persistent consistency
What a tragedy, it seemed to be imaginary and with another cool breeze
Off I fell onto the uninviting pavement, or so I thought
With a few steps, to my left a rose garden appeared
Too cold for a petal to bloom, I wouldn’t allow it
With my ice breath, I commenced every living thing to its death
I breathed an oath; I refused any sort of growth
I see my foolish ways and I stare at the darkened dirt
Nothing surrounding it, but pavement and stone
Here I lay and here I own, what a pitiful, and lonesome soul
Awaiting the zephyr, as there has to be another.
It's fleeting
Quick and tempting
A moment gone so fast
Can barely remember the happiness that surpassed
An experience dissipated in a moment of time
Relish in future, unlikely
Won't last very long
Feels so right
Gratification plain in sight
But forgotten by morrow
Holding on hard to these moments so pleasing
Sad to say the truth that rings
Nothing lasts forever
Even memories, so displeasing.
Fuck Her and fuck Him.
Fuck life and fuck the world.
Fuck living and fuck this air I inhale.
Fuck it all and fuck the small.
Fuck everything and fuck the swine.
Fuck the good and fuck the bad.
Fuck the right and fuck the wrong.
Fuck the sun and fuck the moon.
Fuck the past and fuck the unknown.
Just lose it. Lose control and lose center. Lose it all and drop. This is the fucking fall.
Fuck hope and fuck desire.
Fuck the drink and fuck the job.
Fuck it, you'll mess up.
Fuck it, you won't survive.
Fuck it, they've won.
Fuck this mind and fuck my slumber. Fuck the awakening and fuck this hating.
Fuck my thoughts and fuck my words, fuck my eyes and fuck my lips, fuck the pain that is on a continuous drip.
Fuck my legs I walk no more. Fuck my arms I reach no longer. Fuck my core I'm rotting from the inside out.
Fuck the movement and fuck the sounds.
Fuck my racing pulse and fuck my trembling foot.
Fuck my tightened jaw and fuck my twisted brows.
Fuck my nails gripping hard and fuck my ears still hearing sound!
Fuck every inch, fuck this flesh.
A single round raindrop
Falls from sky to ground
Fast flowing though the atmosphere
It makes a pitter patter sound
From Red to Violet
Indigo and Yellow
It springs up in the wet, wet meadow
With leafy trunks and a light that shines amongst
Together the rain and the light
Mix and conjure up delight
Orange, blue and green
Its value is of sheen
But quick as soon as you saw it
It takes on the property of unseen
And that gold you were in search of
Is now a fleeing dream
Just a simple, color scheme
I just want some short lived injection of romance.
Just a kiss.
A spark.
A momment that makes want to keep trudging along.
A fleshy touch.
An imperical state, where something blooms.
Where you realize that its worth it.
Someone who can reach inside you.
Flipping your stomoch 'round.
Your sick.
Drowning in suffocating, emotional mudd.
Everyday I see the sun come up
But you can still see the moon
Its cloudy and distant
But oh it exists.
The sun warms me and my flesh
It relieves the chill that night represents
Weather the moon is full or new
Some times its half, even crescent
Then it quickly rises, quarter moon,
Back to half, and finally its new
And when its new, its bright
and the brighter the more
It pains my eyelids
Oh my eyelids
The sun comes and goes each day
But the moon is forever
Shining the earth with light
You can feel it fading though
You can feel it fading
Sometimes early, the clouds will get in the way
They are the cousins of the moon
And just like it they are sure to ruin the mood
Rain pours hard
and thunder claps loud
You can see the moon large and towering
While the clouds surround it and it rains down
Oh it rains down
Sometimes it doesn't stop.
Smothering the earth in polluted waters
Diving too deep in these waters
What a tragic event
Without the sun
It would drown us.
Discern fantasy from fact
Its difficult enough
To stay intact
Your dreams and desires
Are as equal to mine
But the difference between us
Is the truth that is underline
How I wish it to be true
But the information I am repeating
Is soon to misconstrue
Miles apart
Distance kills my heart
I reach for you
But your too far
And what it leaves is
A scar
A voice whispers words into my veins
A voice instructs me, strut this way
And that way too, don’t stop...I’ll never shoo.
By the time I’ve made it to the train
My heart begins to
Thump
Thump
Thump
Without a moment to choke
I hop on the station
Headed west, with barely a breath
A thought in this head that steals any concentration
Sleep eludes me, you penetrate me
Enrich me with the echoes of your mind
Bare with me, let us intertwine
A path paved over by the ways of the world
Still hot and sticky, I mold it with my toes
Imprinted with my wishes and my hopes
No traces of intervention
No substance of prevention
Sitting atop the stool
Painted by the artist
Within his palm
Lies his instrument
Prepared to implement
Painting shadows of time and space
Strokes back and forth
Lines united by grace
A picture varnished
A piece of time caught
As quick as created, it
dis..
si..
pa.
.tes
Fading with all its glory
I, want to be in a different place
A place a new and of disguise
One where there aren't any grey
Skies
I, doubt that anything will change
Paces are slowly moving toward
A target and I, want to be in that new place
That place, where the putrid smell
Doesn't exist
That anxious stench won't be
Amongst us.
I, wonder does this new place
Even exist
Is there a reason to persist?
A place a new and of disguise
One where there isn't any grey
Skies.
Idealism is comical
But hardly comprehensible
You want to resist
With much persistence
Who you really are
Inside you not a super hero
One that can fix all
You trick your mind
Believing that you can make a difference
That in this life
Others are more important
But one mistake you have made
When times are dark
All that bullshit will fade
Selfish creatures we are
Stuck in a state of deep desires
You’re a puppet chosen to play the role
And you can gladly pretend
And stand high on your stead
Pretending your above the laws of nature
But you’re a peasant
Nothing major
Truth be told he is merely a mirage.
A gift never to be given.
A harsh truth of the world
And yes I have considered what your about to ask
My overwhelming feelings toward him
But let's get back to the task at hand
Life doesn't want it to work.
Well that I can take.
I'm really quite uncertain
If there's something between us
That will cause me to to break
But I digress
He's a beauty that won't hurt me.
Because he won't let me close enough.
You love my sunny disposition. If it lasts, sometimes it runs away for a rainy day. I call for it, spread those clouds away, but deeper into the sky it dives, away from my mind. The illuminating rays become dark and dismal. Forgive the dark casted upon the shadow of your world. I can only shine until my eyes crack and liquid pours, out of my sockets, out of my veins, pumping hard it labors away. A lonesome flower pops from the dampened dark dirt, a snap of orange, a pop of yellow, a blue like no tomorrow, they break the harsh laws of my sorrow. And like yesteryear my sunny disposition begins to appear. A glorious show, you never quite know, when it will surprise, those cracked eyes are gloss and you see a chick who you thought you’ve lost. Here I stand, and I do command, happiness that will surpass the darkest hours. When the sour comes out and I cry out just know that without you here, the clouds might never disappear. I’ve been drained and though sweat and tears I’ve overcome the pain, within my soul lies a stain and it will remain a scar that will continue to show me how I’ve grown and no one will own the show that I condone. So let it sit still, let it lie, let it be with you and remember why I’ve told you that you are everything to me and no matter how dark I may get, don’t you dare forget my sometimes sunny position and the regret that lies is with me forever and there will always be highs. Highs like you cannot conceive. I will repay the slow and painful delay of what I have brought to the table. I’m back and the fact is that I keep trying and trying to fix what I’ve done and the truth is all I can do is continue my sunny disposition for you.
They say the Gardener comes
He waters the flowers,
and cares for them each day
and that of which follows
is amazing in the eyes of the insane
They say the Gardener comes
and you cannot see
because he is the epitome, of invisibility
you cannot see the figure of mystery
yet you accept without a moment of inquiry
They say the Gardener comes
each and every day
and that he is veracious
in everything that he may say
yet you cannot hear
the sounds they say he portrays
They say the Gardener is immortal
and that he is real
but, tell me the difference between imaginary
and the opposite of actuality
An enigma is all that I see
a problem to a baffling degree
its time to change how our minds perceive
let logic shine though
and wave good-bye to those who believe
in that of which deceives
