I am still caught in your wake
as I'm sure you are left in mine
we were but stones skipping
across thrashing waters
never meant to flow smoothly
but to sink in separate places
you upon the ocean floor
where one day fate will push
you back to the shores
and I in some forgotten pond
still and shallow but
forever I shall remain whole
and while you mold yourself
back together, you will never
be made the same again
but for I who may still
be submerged, when the
water dries naturally
from someone else's sun
I will still be who I once was

I grabbed hold
of that chain
untold
of which
no one really knows

and yet
of what I see
that's set
can never be to meet
but, has been met

my hands froze as i waited for you
under a dark and waning moon
yet nothing i could say, nothing i could do
would bring you closer save chanting, "soon"

patience is a virtue i keep with many
and when it comes to silence ive got plenty
yet when i count the seconds until i see
just the hint of your figure, i hardly breathe

you walk silently with a lingering eye
that winks the moment you catch mine
i knew that now i couldn't happily die
or i would miss the warmth as our hands entwine

now my heart beats this hopeless sound
of dreams and hopes when you're around
'cause in your arms i have found
clasps of warmth to keep me ever bound

I'm drinking in the last bit of time
I have left until I cant go back
to the ease and difficulty of memory

when life flutters past in the form
of the butterfly that used to
always escape capture from our nets

I know not the sounds I will make
that may leave impressions
in the air for just a short while

I'm still unsure which foot goes
in front of the other and how many
steps it takes to ascend from here

all that may lead us from now on
are the unknown and the guessed
futures we received from paper fortunes

You watched
me step from the dark
without a word
without a sound
just staring as I
stumbled so slowly
so close
so distant
but fingers could
still have reached
if your heart was in
them

instead

you filled the air
with silence
filled your head
with everything but
remembrance
eyes looking
not truly seeing
what clearly was lying
on top of my skin
really
no glass needed

but I had become
a part of something
you needed to
be forgotten
to move?
to live?

I was never told

and even now
only because I fell back
into the light
so close
so distant
your fingers slightly
stretched
but they lack
the warmth
that you had
traced on my skin
in permanent
marker

drink in what is and what won't be
the second your eyes drift away
let it sink in that time will never see
how it affects us physically each day

accept the old and accept the new
as their existence so much like ours
will never be eternal and like the dew
disappears into the light as stars

memories fray and our beings wilt
beneath the constant flow of change
and so much like the earth's tilt
our lives are just so easily rearranged

now breathe in the air right before you
love the people and places you pass
and when your heart beats become few
believe that this jump can never be the last

sing to me in whispered words
of the night that softly sets
and in the moment light returns
put both our eyes to rest

with dunes of gold that invade
our peace that lies in the dark
speaks in the rhythm of breathing
as the night's favored spark

the origin of life lies
not in the day but the night
for we truly know that we live
when we wake before sight

the day i turn 18 i think i'll vanish
leaving behind a puff of smoke
i don't need much, just a bag
full of clothes, money, one picture
the one of us standing before
the cliffs that lead off into the water
under a blue sky in Big Sur
i won't leave a letter for anyone
not my family, friends, or you
i'm thinking i'll find myself
in a place somewhere far away
untouched by every influence
i've been fed since life began
cause right now i can't be honest
about who i am or how i feel
i'm only running round in circles
of never ending questions and puzzles
all the while receiving silence
there are no answers to be found here
but they must exist deep inside
but i can't focus with all the noise
so away is my only choice to go
until then i can't feel need nor desire
no want, assurance, or acceptance
so the day i turn 18 magic will happen
and i will vanish before your eyes

sleep is no escape
to my swelling mind
as dawn creeps in slowly
while rest leaves me behind
I can no longer find the comfort
other may find inside their dreams
instead my gaze is left to quietly shift
among the shape shifting ceiling beams
I'm not sure if lonely is the right word used
to describe the nights I do spend silently awake
but there is something missing from inside myself
a vast emptiness that with sleep I could hope to slake
otherwise their is no hope for this poor insomniac
who daydreams in the night of the possibilities
that will allow me to fall into deep slumber
and spare me from their shallow pities
I will close my eyes before the sun
peeks over the wall above view
and sleep becomes escape
into dreams of you

to dream of flight would be betrayal
of the promise I made spurred by memory
that can never forget your afterimage
burned behind my sleeping eyes

faint fears have begun to make a tremble
in this mind weakened by such pain
that if again caution is thrown to the wind
it would forever vanish into the sky

I have given you light in our darkness
a voice to follow in our violent wake
but should this fate befall us once more
in those dreams I fear I will begin to dwell

I beg us give no reason to find fault within
and keep us in reach of the sun's warmth
that if there comes a day when caution leaves
I won't regret that I did not give chase

two souls stared out into the sea
silent among the sifted sand
searching for answers in the dark

it never occurred to bring light
or come by during the day
as if the sun could clear their sight

clouds uncovered the waxing moon
but half way through its travels
a faint glimmer rested there

through speech circles are wound
this they knew of the short years
so quiet was the bond kept

only waiting of the eyes
a hope of catching the hidden hope
their hearts had yet to know

I walked into the bathroom,
ran into her yet again
at the witching hour
and smiled solemnly.

"You're not looking your best,"
I said.

Her smile fell just a hint,
but she kept up her head.

"You're quite the beautiful
disaster yourself."

I don't think our eyes
are smiling anymore,
but her red lips remain upturned.

She's pale.
Her eyes are dark underneath.
She probably couldn't sleep;
well, it's why I was there.

We stood staring in silence,
each evaluating the other
as enemies,
as friends.

I wonder when the last time
was that we saw each other
with the same thoughts
in mind;

the last time when we agreed
with the other;

when we looked our best;
when crying;
when laughing;

just gazing at each other
on the same wavelength.

But she's still smiling
without smiling,
and so am I.

"Goodbye," I nod to her.

She nods back.
"I'll see you again,"
she whispers with a smile.

bury me in your arms

like the eternal grave

where light won't blind

my eyes from your face

and my peacefulness grows

with each muscle strained

capturing me forever

in your warm embrace