I'm a fat ass stoner
eating peanut butter from the jar
watching new girl on fox
wishing I was zooey deschanel
or maybe just looked like her
cause people don't dig her personality
marijuana is bad for fat girls like me
time for a glass of milk
and a cookie

I need the ocean in my life. I need to be by it, in it, near it. it's like my long lost love I've been searching for. I cannot go another 8 years without seeing it.

it is the most beautiful peaceful thing in existence. once I see it ill have found the missing link to myself. I will make sense again. my mind will be calm and free. I might even start crying.

I need you to understand my need for the ocean. I can't go for years on end without digging my toes in the sand or feeling the salty spray upon my face. hearing the waves crash on the shore. the seagulls in the sky & the smell in the air. nothing can replace that, nothing can imitate that.

I long to hear the waves outside my window as I lay in bed. I would sleep on the beach if I could. and if the crabs didnt come out at night & pinch me. wish I was there, sitting in the sun, on the sand. listening to the waves of infinity.

I long to be purified
envelop myself in clean
untouched beauty
natural
like emerging from the ocean
naked
wash away the filth
this life has me covered in
pure as fresh fallen snow in the arctic
pure like vanilla ice cream
creamy white & smooth
I wanna be reborn immaculate
unsoiled, unadulterated

I'm never prepared for Sunday nights.
They come too quickly
Leaving me alone on the couch
Watching terrible late night tv
Cold despite being wrapped in a blanket
Think of all the meaningless things we spent time on
When we should have spent time on each other
We never realize these days could become a precious commodity
If I were to ever lose you
I'd think back on the time I wasted
I don't want this to keep slipping thru my fingers
I want to grab you and never let you go

I wanna smell like milk & honey
Like I melt in your hand
Creamy white thighs
Curves in all the right places
My apron always hiding them
Baking in the kitchen all day
Flour on my nose
My hair smelling of cinnamon
Lips like sugar
That you just want to nibble on
Dip my finger in frosting
Lick it off slowly
I wanna devour you like a gingerbread cookie

Liar. Cheater. Whore.
Names I call myself in my head when I think of all I've done to you.
How could I break your heart so many times? How could you take me back all those times?
I am nothing without you.
Why do I always argue, always have to be right? Why am I always so grumpy, and why do i always cause a fight?
These questions dance in my head while laying down to sleep.
Maybe I'll never know until I'm six feet deep.

feelin insecure again
I look at myself
and never like what I see
it's never enough for me
unsure of what I wanna be
sick of trying to find myself
sick of second guessing myself
why can't I be who I am
the way you see me
through your eyes
honey you think too highly of me

darling can we get shipwrecked
to a deserted island?
run around in our bathing suits all day
build a hammock out of leaves
feed me pineapple and coconut
catch fresh fish for us
grill it over a fire that you made
sleep in our hut at night
kiss in the rain
let the waves lap at our feet
build sandcastles all across the beach
take a shower in a waterfall
stay like this together
forever

He appears out of the fog
His eyes searching the room
He is on a mission
He locks in on you
And suddenly he is in front of you
His hand on your breast
His lips on yours
Tasting, caressing
Always wanting more
He overtakes you
Lost in the haze
on a velvet couch
The moon shines thru the window
Onto your pale skin
Two lovers at midnight
Who can never see the light of day

I want to write about you but don't have the words to do you justice

I want to think about you but I can't  focus long enough to think

I want to touch you but my hands are bound behind my back

I want to kiss you but don't have lips worthy of touching yours

I want to talk to you but nothing comes out, just my breath

I want to see you but my eyes can't find you