I recently
got into
a little kundalini yoga
and joined
the Zen group
on Facebook,
and it was like
being plugged into
an electric socket.
I didn't sing
the body electric,
I freaked out.
Panic, anxiety,
and mania ensued.
This shit
can be dangerous.
I saw my doctor
and he gave me
more medicine.
Now, I'm fine.
Whew.

I have studied
my head
for my whole life,
and I've read
a little psychology
and a lot of religion
and my head
has been studied
by doctors,
so thoughts
interest me
and it seems
like there
is this voice
in there
who is something
that I could call me
and these other
voices
who I could call
voices
or thoughts
or whatever,
but, you know,
it dawned on me
that all it is
is the action
of electromagnetic biochemistry
in my head,
and I think
oh...
so that's what
I've gotten
so crazy about
for all these years.

I smoke,
so cancer
is probably likely,
so since it is
and I still want to smoke,
I had to learn
how to stop worrying
about it,
so I remember
that as a little kid
my parents took me
to a movie
called, "Dr. Strangelove - Or
How I Learned
To Stop Worrying
And Love The Bomb"
and it was about
nuclear holocaust,
so since I was afraid
of that happening,
the movie
cheered me up,
because at the end
there are these beautiful images
of mushroom clouds everywhere
as a woman is singing,
"We'll meet again,
don't know where,
don't know when"
and so
in the same way
I have learned
how to stop worrying
about cancer,
and in the old days
people didn't worry
because they didn't know
about cancer,
and they lived their lives
and died at about eighty,
but now
people worry
for their whole lives
and fight cancer
if it has been found
and struggle
and die when they're
about eighty.

When I was in the start
of my mental illness problem,
I exhibited physical movements
which bothered me,
because I thought they
were crazy,
but now, some forty years later,
I realized
that what I was doing
was mental illness yoga,
which was the body's way
of trying to cure me,
and the first yogic movement
that I did
was rocking back and forth
as I was sitting,
so now
I have tried it
by synchronizing
my breathing
and my internal music
along with it,
and it becomes
very healing,
so my mentally ill mother
used to tap
her fingers
on her legs
one at a time,
so I have tried that
and synchronized it,
and a friend
used to pull down
on his sideburns
in a kind of stroking manner,
so that's a good one,
and another friend
stroked his legs
back and forth
just above the knees,
and that one is excellent,
so I move my legs
in opposite directions, fast,
back and forth,
and that one works well,
so I roll my head around
in circles,
and that actually is
a yogic practice
called head rolls,
and I move my head
back and forth, sideways,
like Stevie Wonder,
and that works great,
so I would suggest
that if you have
any kind of eccentric movements
like these,
to develop them
and turn them into yoga,
because it just might be
the answer
to many problems.

"Dreams can come true,
it can happen to you..."
so, yeah,
like that dream
I just had
where I was
diagnosed
with cancer,
or that dream
I just had
where there were
some sort of
flesh eating fish
stuck between my toes,
or that dream
I just had
where there were
bugs attacking me,
or that dream
about the end of the world
with me on some
nuclear submarine,
or even
my lame daydreams
about fame and success,
all these can come true,
but let's hope not.

I think
Zen has been taught
all wrong
for a long time,
because the common understanding
is that Zen gives you
peace of mind,
an empty mind,
a mind which doesn't think,
and other such hogwash,
so I can explain
what Zen meditation
does to me,
and that is
that it brings up
much chi energy
to my head,
because of the way
that the eyes are fixed
and the posture
and the breathing
and the mantra,
and so
the mind becomes
stronger, more powerful,
more active,
not more peaceful
and passive,
and as such
it is conducive
to such phenomena
as internal music,
much thinking,
channeling,
telepathy and psychic powers,
seeing things,
hearing things,
and imagining things,
therefore
if you are getting into Zen
for peace of mind,
you've gone
to the wrong place.

So, I was sitting
in the basement,
when I decided
what I already knew,
and that is
that I believe
in kindness,
and kindness
to all being
and beings,
even the Evil One,
Mara,
so, as I thought that,
a dark shadow
appeared next to me,
and I said,
"How are you doing, Mara?"
and he replied,
in my mind,
"I will crush your head,
and defile you,
and defeat you,
and throw you into the pit!",
so, as my head
was tightening,
I thought,
"Well...ok...if you have to...",
so I had a vision
of myself in a pit,
and I thought,
"Well, I'll still be kind",
so, Mara said
in a voice in my head,
"My job is to scare people...
your job is to be kind..."
so, I thought back
to him,
"OK...it's a deal!"
then I went upstairs
to this computer
and burned a CD
to give to a friend.
So, all is well,
here...now.

When I was young,
I thought
that the only artists
that there were,
were the famous ones
that I heard about,
because there is this
illusion
in our culture
that the famous people
are the only visible people,
so I thought
that if I grew up
and became
an artist, poet, composer,
musician, dancer, photographer,
etc.
that I would be
one of the famous ones,
but what I didn't know
was that for every one
of the famous ones,
there are zillions
of people on the bottom,
who can't get anywhere,
who work at the arts
for their entire lives
and their stuff winds up
in the dumpster,
and I found out
that there are very few of us
who wind up
like Van Gogh, too,
like that our art
becomes famous
after we die,
so it's the one percent
and ninety nine percent
law
of our culture
that applies to the economy
and also to this thing
that I am involved with
called art.
Good Luck!

I was meditating
with the life mudra
in an attempt
to understand life,
and so I chanted
the first word
that came to mind
and it was "Mo"
so I thought
of homosexuality
and Larry and Curly
and then I chanted
the second word
which came to mind
and it was "Da"
and I thought of
my late father
and just now
I think of stupidity
and then I chanted
the third word
which came to mind
and it was "Su"
so I thought of
my first girl friend
and I am thinking
of litigation
so I thought of
the fourth word
which came to mind
and it was "Ma"
so I thought of
my late mother
and the Korean word
for mind,
so I put them all together
and I got
"Modasuma"
which meant
spring, summer, fall, and winter
to me
and then I looked
modasuma
up on the internet
and gathered
in my ignorance
of the Spanish language
that moda suma
is a South American museum
that was visited
by Amy Winehouse.

I recently read
that Brautigan's last manuscipt
had small pieces
of his brain matter
stuck to the paper
which got there
after he blew his brains out,
and today
after I had written a poem,
I had an insight
into the mind
of Brautigan.
It made me cry.
Brautigan was a poet
who wrote tender, funny,
light poetry
which I always thought
had something
underneath it
which was deep and profound.
I found out
that a poet like Bruatigan
or me
had a deep
despair, anguish, depression,
suffering, and pain
which lay underneath
this light, funny poetry.
When he died,
I bought
as many books by him
as I could find
and laid them
on a table
and lit a candle.

So, I have been hacked
completely,
by somebody
and so I think,
"Well, I don't have
anything in here,
so, who cares?"
and since,
I am always looking
for a bigger audience
to read my stuff,
I think,
"Great, I've got some
wonderful criminal
or something
reading me!"
so I am completely hacked
right down to the source,
so I think,
"Excellent!",
but I might
go get my computer fixed
because the other people
in my little network
probably don't like him,
so, we'll see
maybe I'll just say,
"Honk it!
I'm in love!"

You might
get the idea,
when reading
my poetry,
that I am
some sort
of a dumb guy,
who really doesn't know
about Zen or poetry,
and really isn't very good
with the English language,
or you might
see something different,
some guy behind this stuff,
who really does
know something,
like that he really
shouldn't use the word
really so much,
and who
is sort of a tongue in cheek,
Zen wise-ass
and that he actually does know
something about poetry,
and that he uses
the English language
this way
intentionally,
but the real poet's voice
is probably
none of the above,
and then there is
the real kicker,
and that is
that he is
all of the above!

We are all searching
and looking
and leaning
and grasping
for it,
and we don't know
what it is
but we are all
searching and looking
and leaning and grasping
for it,
so I found it,
even if I don't know it,
but it is nothing
and doesn't exist,
but I think
that we all have it,
we all have it
right now,
and we have been looking
for it,
but we just didn't know
that we had it
all along,
so relax
and enjoy it,
we've got it,
so that's all.

So, a big fat poet
who is a friend
of mine,
and who likes
to wax poetically,
came to me
in a dream,
and he said,
"Enough of this simplistic stuff...
give me some complexity...
something modern...
something more like mine"
so I went upstairs
and wrote a poem
about coffee
where I artistically expounded
in great detail and exageration
about the matter of making
coffee,
and when I was done
I thought,
"Eh...it's like my old style...
no wonder I changed"
so, enough
of the Great Bards
who talked
in the accent
of a Grand Thespian
with his voice
like William Shatner,
it's back
to being simple
like me.

I used to do
a little bit
of drugs,
and even though
they didn't wreck me
too bad,
I gave them up,
but I like
to get high,
so I have invented
the imaginary drug experience,
and what you do
is to say the name
of the drug, inside,
as you breathe out,
and then,
holding your nostrils open,
you forcefully inhale, fast,
in other words,
snort,
the air,
and my notion is
that the body/mind
will understand
that you want this drug
and it will produce
an endorphine,
(brain chemical),
which is like a mild form
of that drug,
and then,
you get a little bit high,
but it's awfully subtle,
so you have to be aware,
and there
you have it,
safe dope,
and you can't
get busted.

So there was
vast empty space
in which there was
a small ball
of extremely tight matter
in the space
and it was orange
in color
I think
and all of us
in the universe
were there,
we were part of it,
and it got thinking
about finding what
was out there
in that empty space,
so it blew up
and all of us
went flying off
into that empty space
where we are now
on these planet space things
going out
to see what
is out there
in empty space,
so I guess
that's how it goes.

So the song sings
that we are all innocent,
but I don't think
that's true,
of course
maybe nothing is true,
but I think
that we are all
almost not guilty
by reason of insanity,
the insanity
that goes with being
human,
so I seem to know
that I am almost not guilty
because I know
that since I have a book
of all the sins and crimes
of all the people
who I have perceived
to have hurt me,
that everybody else
has a book
on me,
and I seem to know
that they are probably right
about me,
being an asshole
in the past,
just like I think
that so many
in my life
were assholes
to me,
so we're almost not guilty
by reason of insanity,
so I'll give us
a suspended sentence.

John Cage
didn't like improvisation,
but he was trying
to get out of his prison
that was caused
by his likes and dislikes,
so, I like improvisation
and I improvise
my life
every day,
so, the time arose
to write a poem
and I thought
that I would improvise,
but improvisation to me
doesn't mean
writing without a thought,
or
writing fast,
or
writing without care,
so,
improvisation is like
what I did in music
at a concert
in a church
a long time ago,
after my band and I
had practiced
for quite awhile,
and once we felt able
to put on a performance,
we did it.

I got into my space exploration vehicle.
(I got into my car)
I took off, and traveled on the intergallactic freeway.
(I drove down the street)
I was going to the lost planet.
(I was off to the drug store)
I took a few lefts at the asteroid belts.
(I turned)
I arrived at the lost planet, and landed safely.
(I parked)
The automatic entry opened.
(You know, those automatic doors)
The communication devices were greeting me.
(TV in drug stores)
I was searching for the mysterioous red and white cannister.
(I was there to buy a Budweiser)
I found it in the back, in a cold place, by the waffle demons.
(It was in the cooler by the ice cream cones)
I took it to the being, and we exchanged paper and metal.
(I paid)
I left, and got back into my spaceship.
(I got into the car)
I flew at light speed and altered my route to avoid the aliens who were also flying.
(I drove at the speed limit, and turned at the stop signs)
I arrived safely at my space station.
(I got home)
Thus has been
another of the continuing adventures
of Michigan Kongsaeng,
the great Nothing.

The old guys
wrote about
the great outdoors
and the beauty of nature,
but, you know,
nature may become
completely inhospitable
sooner than we think,
so I suggest
that we should start
thinking about
the great indoors,
and the beauty of artificiality,
because artificial things
are none other
than nature, transformed,
so maybe
we should go
on adventures
in our own houses
like a modern Thoreau,
who finds the transcendent
in a cup of coffee
or a telephone.