i am nothing,
less than nothing
I am the empty space
where something should have been
wallowing in my own self pity
I am becoming less distinct
soon, even I won’t be able to recall
who I was, what I held dear
or if I ever was, at all

Cross eyed raspberries
a signal for truce

he's breathing my air!
as I hyperventilated

but she never suffocated
so I figure she was wrong

her air was her air
even if she didn't know it

It was still fun trying
picking on her was great sport

fighting with my sister
was a hobby for me

being the only boy gave me advantage
I was never the one blamed

and if I acted hurt
she always got in trouble

it wasn't really fair
but she was bigger than me

I loved relentless picking
but when we each had had enough

cross eyed raspberries is what we blew
a signal for truce

And unto themselves kept they
who were inclined not to mindless conversation
but when in full acquisition of their faculties
tended towards economy of words.
for bothersome it became
to such as they
that when drivel was about them
a tempest of thought would confound them
being accustomed, as they were
to voicing only that
which was necessary

when matters of great import
were upon them
heart to heart did they speak
not of tongue and mouth
but of heart and soul
through mind and thought
would they commune

meetings
going on forever
always talking
never acting
usually getting in the way
if not outright obstructing
progress is made in spite of them
rank and file almost always
saving their asses
management
gotta love em
not

unconsummated love,
insistent yet unquenched.
there is a bitter sweetness
that is at once wonderful and
discouraging,
connected as we are
by the stuff thoughts are made of.
touching hearts that remain solitary,
fleeting yet substantial, sometimes
it is more real than reality.
holding on too tight, I loosen
my grip to find...
everything and nothing.

Mother In Law has a huge collection of dolls (creeps me out)

Those dolls,
always watching me
with their beedy little eyes
following me where ever I go
they are in every room
I can't get away from them
they sit there with smug looks
those dolls
always watching me
creeps me out
I swear I saw one turn its head
why does she have this infernal collection
I think she is out to get me
I am quite sure of it
she even has a pair of them in the guest bath
sitting there drinking tea
both of them strategically placed
so they can watch me
always watching me
those dolls
creeps me out

the life sized ones are bad enough
but she has dozens of little ones
every time i visit my mother-in-law
they are someplace else
and yet, I have never seen her move them
does she even know they moved?
they follow me
and not just with their eyes
they follow me
room to room
place to place
and they all smile
oh you can't always see it
but I can tell
I am not paranoid
I am quite sure they are out to get me
they talk amongst themselves
i swear I have heard murmers when alone
I can't stand being alone in that house
the constant rustling
she must hear it
why can't she hear it
I am not crazy
I can't be crazy
can I

sometimes
when alone
i think one of them tries to talk to me
it is on the edges of consciousness but it is there
just barely audible
i cant believe no one else hears it
shhhh
what was that
did you hear it
tell me you heard it
i am not crazy
I can't be crazy
can i
those dolls
always watching me
creeps me out

when once again
I've found my friend
and together we share what's new

I thank my stars
as I've traveled far
I have a friend like you

for with my friend
time and again
I find we do agree

on many things
and what life means
it's eye to eye we see

arm in arm
at risk of harm
together we shall go

into the night
we go to fight
against our common foe

but if the end
does come my friend
still sweet it's taste will be

for I've laughed and lived
and fought and loved
beside a friend like thee

Giving Blessings
From His Own
The Giver gives
But remains unknown.

The masses ponder
upon his nature.
Yet cannot begin
To imagine his grandeur.

From where did he come?
Was he here at the start?
I can't comprehend Him
I'm just not that smart.

My faith is firm
Or that's what I say
But sometimes I wonder
Am I easily swayed?

With all of my doubts
I stumble along
I pray Him great praises
I sing Him great songs.

Not sure if He is
Not sure if He's not
I continue to pray
On Sundays, a lot.

Just hedging my bets?
Or playing along?
I'm not sure I believe
I'm not sure I belong.

I've seen many things
I could not explain
I've witnessed his greatness
Yet suffered great pain.

I want to believe
to be zealous and all
but He seems so big
And I feel so small.

Not sure I know
As I wander this way
I'm not sure what I've seen
I'm not sure what to say.

I have seen some blessings
I have witnessed some pain
I have seen his nature
but don't know his name.

Giving Blessings
From His Own
The Giver gives
But remains unknown.

in the evening as shadows come out from hiding
the whippoorwill calls in the night
ethereal haunting cries of loneliness
do I project? perhaps it's just a bird

Do you see me?
Do you really see me?
Everyone can see
just not the me that is me.

The me that I see
when looking inside
is not the same me
that others would spy.

The me that I know
and the me that I show
may be different sometimes.
It depends where I go.

I am not a chameleon.
I am not in disguise.
I just think it unsafe
and perhaps it's unwise,

To reveal who I am
till I know who you are.
It is personal to me
so I keep you quite far.

Till I know I can trust
in your kindess of heart.
I can't tell this at first.
I can't tell from the start.

I must know you quite well
before I will show
the me that's inside,
the me that I know.

But to those whom I know
I sometimes reveal
the me that I know,
the me that is real.

So if you see me
you still may not know,
if it's me that you see
or the me that I show.

No man is disconnected,
Alone by himself.
Each has a cell phone,
A part of the network.
If a tweet be lost into the ether,
Twitter is the less.
As well as if an update were.
As well as if a Facebook page of thine own
Or of thine friend's status were.
Each man's blog informs me,
For I am involved in social networking.
Therefore, text not to know
For whom the phone rings,
It rings for thee.

high up in the jubjub tree
the turtlefly hangs all day
wings made of shell give blazing speed
he flits where ever he may

unconcerned of falling down
he flies from branch to branch
and if he misses his perch just once
he bounces when he lands

but missing twice is not so nice
unless he spreads his wings
for bouncing is so hard on him
a cracked shell really stings

he makes his nest on fork-ed branch
and lines it all with fur
and decorates his jubjub tree
then sits and waits for her

his mate you see is not like he
but rather large indeed
she is the three-toed elephant
and can barely climb his tree

upon her back he lands so soft
she barely knows he's there
he walks up front to her great head
and never moves a hair

so when she hears his tiny voice
whispered in her ear
she thinks it is a thought of hers
and has not a thing to fear

he says come up and sit right here
upon our wedding bed
if only you would do as asked
I'd paint your toenails red

so up the tree she begins to climb
with visions in her head
of wedding bells and turtlefly shells
and toenails bright and red

forgot did she since she was three
she's had a fear of height
and grasping branches with her toes
she climbs up in the night

in the morning with sun's first light
the jubjub tree looks bare
with toes of red, she blends right in
you cannot tell she's there

her toes you see, resemble three
bright cherries in a row
unless she moves her ponderous bulk
the elephant does not show

she hides up in the jubjub tree
while turtlefly flits around
she holds so tight that from day one
she never goes to ground

so if you see, those cherries three
can you trust your eyes
is it cherries in the tree
or the elephant in disguise

i was standing outside
not trying to hide
just trying to make a phone call
a woman approaches
and the subject she broaches
has me completely appalled

she says do you dance
and given the chance
would you mind dancing with me
i find you quite fair
and the gray in your hair
is a major turn on you see

and your evening my friend
perchance you could spend
most of it drinking chablis
so when we go home
and I have you alone
i wont look quite so homely

so inside the bar
i had run off quite far
when i saw her looking my way
her head she did swivel
as she started to dribble
and i tried to get far far away

i tried to blend in
and i started to grin
as a waitress came to my side
she said get behind me
and said that she would see
if she could help me to hide

i was so relieved
and could not believe
i made it, if just by an inch
this lovely young maid
had come to my aid
i was caught by surprise by her pinch

my butt was her aim
my attention to gain
she said that she wanted me too
she said that i owe her
and i could run nowhere
so dance with me one song or two

so then dance i did
from the other i hid
this is not such a bad life
the waitress in question
i forgot to mention
was none other than my sweet wife.

i can hear the flowers blooming
is that so odd?
i can feel grass growing under my feet
i can see health in multiple colors
and smell the difference
between truth and lies
i taste the seasons as they change
did you know springtime tastes green?
of course you did, we all know that
i feel the breath of butterflies
and hear the heartbeat
of mice in the walls
my heart races
when thunder claps
and i can taste the rain
before it falls
i have heard the ping of a leaf
letting go of it's branch
and the gentle sigh it heaves
as it lands on the ground
i hear the sounds
of my own thoughts
and sometimes
those of others
is that so odd?

I could not wait
the day had grown near
it was time to get started
junior high school was here

I was real tuff stuff
big in my own eyes
till the day came
to get school supplies

my mother was saying
while approaching the door
I think we'll go shopping
at the department store

I did not know why
or what we needed
but mother's word
was always heeded

so to the car
and off we go
time to shop
soon I would know

we went to boy's clothing
much to my surprise
a funny place
to get school supplies

I looked up and asked
for then I was shorter
she said you have gym
and need a supporter

I thought to myself
as I missed her meaning
I will not be going out
for cheer leading

or maybe a jersey
is what she could mean
is gym held in clothes
that support our school team

so we walked up to
a nice looking lady
mom showed her the list
the lady said maybe

they talked about size
as they looked at my waist
then both of them chuckled
and turned with great haste

she said he's a small
if I had a guess
is his father real small
mom frowned but said yes

the lady looked sad
as she looked at the floor
and said its alright
he will grow I'm quite sure

so reaching into
a shelf on the wall
she pulled out a package
and showed it to all

much to my horror
as my eyes read the box
I was so embarrassed
twas a strap made for jocks

my mother just smiled
the lady did too
go try this on
it's sized just for you

i said with bravado
as i puffed up my chest
I think I take large
or medium at best

they both laughed again
as they nodded and smiled
said large is for men
and you're just a child

i went to the room
looking down, I was shy
i thought I'd stay there
at least till I die

they called in behind me
and said like they know
don't get undressed
don't take off your clothes

just pull it on over
your pants we don't care
does it bind, does it chafe
does it pinch you down there

I said it's just fine
my voice just a squeak
when we got home
I hid for a week

I never did know
if it fit me OK
I threw it out
that very same day

I took gym that year
and to my delight
I looked at the others
not a jock strap in sight

I am not bitchy all the time
sometimes I'm bright and gay
I am not always feeling down
at least not every day

Sometimes I wear a great big smile
sometimes I have a frown
sometimes I'm feeling really good
sometimes I'm really down

So if you see my smiling face
approach me if you dare
but piss me off and you will watch
as I yank off half your hair

I'll hit you like a big buzz saw
I'll chew and spit you out
so don't approach on my bad days
days when I sit and pout