sitting in an ivory tower.
high above any contact.
eating a loaf of bread.
with a pretty dress on.
waiting to be rescued.
or maybe just thought about.
desiring to spin wool.
reading a book on the Warsaw ghetto.
growing fat.

fleet foot of mine
lay claim to no one
not even my own.

chains wrapped
around my own
curious trials

While every drowns me out
you turn me up
listening to all of my personalities
pretty sirens don't take your attention off of me
people in love are suppose to meet half way
little did they know, we were in each other all along.

guard down, my veil and wall has been dropped.

not worried about my twitches, my looks or the size of my behind

a maternal hold, so familiar.

thinking past, I think better of slumber than old lovers.

when sleep and I take a rest during a sunny day.

The rest of the world was working, but we were being naughty

spending so much time together.

The afternoon a storm came, we held each other and smiled at the rain.

" I want to die." I said. Like I always say, every few months.

He took it in stride, didn't say anything, but let his body glide next to mine.

I thought of regular ways to end these endless days.

Hanging is such a strange thing, what glory is ending life with a single string?

Throwing myself off a balcony had some charm, but living on the first floor, would cause myself more harm then death.

Drugs and overdoses seem romantic, but I could end up a vegetable, even more tragic!

So here, I lay. Chugging away planning our wedding day.

" I want to die."  I said.  Like I always say, every few months.

He took it in stride, didn't say anything, but let his body glide next to mine.

I thought of violent ways to end my endless days.

Hanging is such a strange thing, besides nothing in my apartment would do this sufficiently.

Throw myself into train traffic, but why cause such a racket? Poor people having to go to work.

Drugs! Yes,  drugs. Unless you do it wrong and end up in a coma with a personality of a rug.

So here, I lay. Chugging away planning our wedding day.

No one ever appointed me judge or jury.
What can one do when a friend is cutting their morals in a blaze of glory?
Stand by and let time fly?
Speak up and gives their senses a try?

The time came and I cut them away
Better off then let my mind always thinking of them astray
Alone I am now.
It's now all that bad anyhow.

catching different sorts of insects
the feeling of Earth on your bare feet
feeling like a millionaire with any coin you find
the humid wind making your hair heavy
your height being level to an adults butt for years
some sort of sugary substance attached to my cheeks
hours of boredom, which we would kill for as adults
closeness with siblings,  never to be regained.
and if there were such thing as reincarnation,
would childhood summers be like this all over again?

Allow me to sigh,
the simplest release.

Ease me from those
tomorrow is right around the corner
blues.

This breath isn't a cigarette
a cup of booze
an afternoon snooze
or a roll in the hay.

No, it's just one cleansing breath
means so much to me.
Now I know how monks reach divinity.

Put down those veils you wear.
Only if you allow me,
can I help you.
You see that mountain up there?
I have climbed it
took me a while to tell you that.
been tricked by beautiful before.
we all have
balanced on those red rocks
mastered it
though you may not like to hear
having known it
felt how ugly
came down
will show you
this is my everyday.
I hold you more than you will know.
Lead me to you.

oily skin
no appetite
dry mouth
nothing to say

I hate working mornings!

In the olden days,
the Roman days.
Women and men had sex in the farm fields to ensure the crops would be fertile.
Drinking wine,  forgetting time,  and reveling in their mortality!
Wouldn't that be fun?
Bacchus!

I smile,
turn towards him.
He snores.

Your calloused hands!
I used to want to claim them
for my wooden treasure chest.
Spending all of eternity
holding both.

You rejected me,
or should I say politely
denied me such pleasures.

And now I tell you frankly,
no woman but me,
would have
cherished those
elephant skin hands.

fishnet pantyhose
mexican dinners
men with a big noses
competing, being the winner
women scented like roses

words of praise
cats
getting a yearly raise in pay
the sound outside my window and knowing it's bats
calling in sick to work, and spending the day at play

seeing stupidity and smiling
the laughing of my nieces
writing a good poem without trying
hug by my fiance and falling to pieces

waiting.
this is my highest compliment to you.
waiting.
In the hot sun in the afternoon.
Vultures and flies buzzing over my head.
when I lay this way
I expose my neck
I allow myself to become your prey

The romance is lost a bit in such situation. Don't you think?

your little white lies are threaded and spun together
they make a new strands every time you talk.
the sequence of your web changes when you take action.

The unattractive woman at the office that you flirt with.
The invisible career you brag about.
The family problems that you exaggerate

you talk and your tongue is exercised.
your lungs waste their space and breath.
your lips formulate through the motions.

who are you trying to please?
we all see you are the spider and cannot leave your web.

I want to write that poem.

The one that will make you cum in your pants.

Make you click up your heels, dance on your father's grave. Then your mother will become an emancipated slave!

To punch that bully square in the face, the one that made you want to erase your grade school years.

I want this poem to make you feel so sexy, get you to can dance around naked without a fear.

I want it to help you find a lover,  someone who will pamper your heart like no other.

Maybe it can help you patch up family arguments. Instead of calling that guy an asshole, you can actually acknowledge he is your brother.

Hopefully, it can raise the dead. Let the answers you desire become said.

The children you wish on a star for, turn around and they appear. Don't want them? Make a wish and they are removed , a few miles from here.

Here, take this. Use it to dry those heavy tears.

Who knows?

It may even compliment your saggy rear!

Storm in the morning hours.
You caress me,  like I am suppose to know.
I let you.
Excited where this will go.
Pajamas make undressing  me that more easy.
I am as pliable as those pajamas  on days like this.
Don't get mad, I like being submissive on certain days.
You always throw my pajamas in such a crazy way.
Takes longer to retrieve them.
Longer than how much time  you play.

Sitting next to her in your pauper's bed.
She complains for the 50th time today about her stuffed up head.
She blows her nose into some tissue.
You wanted to make love, but her footy pajamas would be an issue.
This is the time when this beast is actually tame.
She screams at you and breaks your spirit until you jump at your own name.
She ignores you goes back to reading her book.
It's been ages since she has thrown you a smitten look.
She doesn't even have a cold.
It's 12 months out of the year that these mysterious allergies take hold.
They seemed to appear after honeymoon night.
When she knew you were in this deal tight.
Don't say I didn't tell you so,
remember you left me for her more beautiful soul

I wish I could write a poem to show how uncomfortable I am with myself.
I would wax and wane about how god has left me without looks.
I would compare myself to people without limbs or eyes.
It would be such a self serving poem.

It would make people sick.
They would think back to their cousins without limbs.
Don't we all have family members like this?
At least people you got a peek at in grade school...

I wish that I could write a poem like this.
Without the whole readers hating me part.