Worked for 8 years in Software Development.
I never understood Us and Them,
but that what it was all about.
They broke my body and my mind,
They dribbled, crazy like hornets angry, mad,
They destroyed me, people I once knew, once knew well,
And I never understood that it was all just about us and them.
We will never see eye to eye. Her anger reverberates in my head,
But I cannot replace instead, someone else, that person is dead.
I never understood why it was my fault. But she blamed me nonetheless.
A convicted Hess.
The queer gods ruled the ancient world,
The ancient world was queer,
It was ancient when the queers ruled.
Now we are a whisper of the past,
Now we are a thread and gasp,
A rasp, of leaves on a summers day,
A Gossamer, glistening in the glen,
Tulips in bloom,
Thrushed, blushing red.
Two lips crushed together,
A stolen breath.
The hours, they pass, lovers leap in
each others arms
Spaghetti legs and arms,
the nub smell of rub and sheet,
the twine nibs imprint,
a palmer's press.
Give me a kiss, breath,
You escape me, but just.
I cannot escape. I give up.
I cannot escape your lovers lap.
Dippled cheeks, and that,
Your mind is a killer. It's a net of whittle and wit
You laugh because I am an easy lay, I have no complexions, no way
You laugh because I am so strut forward, and you know, you play.
You play, pull touch push. And laugh.
And when I want to say nay, go away and sulk you pull me to your chest,
and suck into me like a full house on a sunny day.
You worry me, Shy One,
I'd love to get to know you.
But you are not shy, you are a bastion.
Quiet, unmoving, firm. Resolve.
You are a friend, fathoms deep,
I need to fathom you out.
I need to speak to your sleep.
Your pulse, is like the tide, constant, neap.
Under the moon, pale, we sleep
Speak out! Let's just talk about the weather today,
I don't mind. Talking about the weather is just as good,
How are you ? I know you're fine. We don't change those sands of time.
You are deep, but quiet, a firm resolve,
A revolver, rotating drum, by the fire light,
The din of the djinn, is quiet in your soul.
I stare into the embers of the coal.
The call of the night.
Talk to me. Tell me something about you.
Mystery of the mysterious ones,
The seven cities you lived in,
The seven sons,
The seven suns in the sky, revolve around us,
those djinns that live in the bastion
I want to know you, I like you,
Talk to me, even about the weather,
How are you, fine, as ever,
Tell me are you all right, is your family safe,
Do you eat at night ?
The ace of spades
Was digging in the flowerbeds
Last night under the shade of the moon
Her rosy lips were clipped and
Her hair in disarray,
As the traffic down in
the valley disapproved.
What happened to Clara at the click of nine,
Down on the corner at fifth and dime ?
Silk stockings and stillettoes
stabbed the night
Traced out in tendrils
Of wispy smoke at bar ends
Aye the glint in his eyes,
That ace of spades,
Put paid to his debt
Cleft hooves clump the ground,
A snort, a sneer, a stutter,
The soulful sojourn of the pan pipe flutter,
Is the trademark of the satyr.
He passes by,
Brown, yellowy hair,
Jigjag outlines like fallen leaves
Adorn his clothes,
In his eyes autumn blue skies shine,
Tussled hair brushes his face from the wind
And he makes me smile.
He passes by,
A smile on his face,
A ruby red stripe on purple bluish cheeks,
Ebony brown hair and pale blue eyes like the winter sun.
He holds his hands to his face,
Breathing the breathe of life into them,
And he makes me warm.
He passes by,
Thistle green eyes and bruising body,
Coiled like a spring day, come undone, sprung.
Like the fresh flowers along the lane
And adorn the hedges.
And he makes me love.
He passes by,
He smiles at me,
I sit there in the summer sun,
All these years I have loved him,
But Time passes on.
Oh Son of Time,
You are so youthfully beautiful,
But how quickly yet gracefully,
You grow old.
I have run down the sun,
I have gunned it down dead,
I have taken down the world,
and put a bullet in its head.
Oh no - shards of shadows,
hints of memories lost,
I took the life of another man,
Because I believed in the cross.
Surround me now, oh children young,
For it is for you that I have sold my soul.
Cluck the clutch of bullets young,
In the magazine of my crook’ed gun.
I look at my mind in rewind,
A series of rehearsed images burst.
Somehow I remember nothing but my worst
So now I relinquish – for this is my finest hour yet,
I have destroyed the best for myself.
I do not deserve better,
For my sins are costly memories.
I shall cast myself into the sea,
The sea from whence I came,
To beginning of the ride,
To the beginning of the game,
I am happy now – content to say the least,
With a wry smile like the cat with the cream,
It has been a while,
My time has come to a close,
Its been a long time,
This deflowering of the rose,
I have resisted for so long.
I - like the beach - have held back the sea,
Held back the sands of time.
But in the end no matter how long it takes,
The end is inevitable,
So now I my life lay waste.
Follow me, me, me,
I shall lead you
to the parting of the seas,
I shall be the one
Day and night,
fluffy clouds of living wool and ticks we are,
not in the sky, but grounded in green grass around,
We follow you,
You I have never known, never seen,
but leader by seeds of my ancestors sown,
I have grown with the herd, all I have known.
The shadows are watching,
Wolves across the darkened prairie,
Awash in the milky white of moonlight,
They hunt by night,
These wisps of fright.
You Leader, Oh most Invisible one,
at the front of the run,
wolf-wary and toiling under the sun,
The wolves are always looking to the sky,
I wonder why ?
Then so did I.
For the first time ever a sheep has never
Has actually looked up high,
Into the starry hea’ens,
studded glimmers on a wolfs black coat,
the wisened old hunter, the cunning wily,
a secret of the cut throats long known,
peers down on me, their stories, older than my oldest me.
For the wolves know, my leaders head is low,
That we move into the fields, there by the northern star,
And there will be a gathering,
A feast of lamb to behold,
For the collection of wolf covens of old,
Our pastures of peace lie to the east,
By my reckoning of the stars,
But my leader follows the reckoning of old,
A forgotten past,
A legacy that goes to our death every year
To feed the wolverines that costs us dear.
Borrow me a dream,
ungodly like the beating sun,
my memories of the mourning morn,
sold to me by a government old.
A day I captured text perfect
on bleach’ed pulp, a seed of
thought, amongst the buried dead bodies
by the river.
Borrow, for I must return
it to the country I remembered,
an image burned, into the
conscious and unconscious of
a legacy we ought behold.
The sun, today, it is cold.
Mom, Dad - what have I done,
your ill-begotten son
Asunder and on the run,
from the plague and tyranny
I’m living for the sinking
of the erstwhile setting sun.
Somewhere from the shadows deep,
You creep into my decrepit bed.
I must sleep,
And you caress my tussled hair,
And tease me with your angel breath.
Far away I can hear you whisper,
Keep my secrets for me,
Lingering thoughts of passion,
Murder and intrigue as your hand
Wanders over me.
I ne’er felt this way before,
The prison doors are barred and shut.
I sleep alone at night in the shadows,
With you alone in my bed,
With you alone in my head.
I feel I should tell you everything,
Everything about the past; good old me.
The nice I was outside of here,
The things I did to get me in,
The things I scream about,
The puddles of sin.
And then you kiss me,
hot breath and wires,
tall tales about love as your breath
catch the liars.
Memories of my freedom, remind me
Of the stories of my ancestors.
Roaming wild and free beyond the trees,
The sprawling Serengeti rivers believe
In the magic of the beast.
Undulating plains masking terror and blood shed,
In and amongst the interwoven, lions brown and grass
Our kill, our savour, the brilliance of blood splattered,
In an unfair fight,
For years it is all I have known.
But it is the right to roam,
The lands are our home,
We were free, the rulers elite,
Highly amongst the kingdom they speak of us,
And yet there beyond the trees,
Lies a dark malicious enemy, intelligence
Unknown, but vast,
Disenfranchised us of our lands and our birth rights,
Has built a fence, around my youth and intellect.
Now stripped I stand there – lost in thought,
Everything has changed – fraught
With tears and upset.
For we no longer rule the world –
It is in the hands of uncertainty borne.
And now I have had to grow up
Believing we are not alone.
They have split the adam ant atom again,
The voices they whisper to my cockleshell ear.
In a couple of moments we will go live,
To see the moon in the rear.
A cocktail quiescent scintillation of constellations gather,
Pools of flashes and twinkles in the sky,
When the music of the band changes,
I get that look in my eyes, And run to nowhere in fear.
Surreal in a dream, seems that reality
pools at the tip of a leaf,
Complexity in its veins channel the water teaming with life,
To the tip of all anguish and grief.
There it is suspended – dangling in the wind,
And someone bumps it ajar.
That calico cat of a man with a scar,
Comes from the dark side of the moon.
I will meet you there, up in the sky,
When the choirs of angels die.
And I Lucifer of society shall rise,
And be the new god of the skies.
The cats in the cradle, and the silver spoon,
The little boy blue and the man in the moon,
When will I see you,
I don’t know when,
We will get together then.
Sleep softly, for the morrow brings trouble,
Sing deeply, for the world is watching,
Disappear suddenly, and the shadows arrive,
Hunting you because you are still alive.
Seek out self, sorrow and sins,
The nightmare begins,
There beyond the horizon are your enemies,
There across the seven seas.
Shadows visit like bats on wing,
Nightmares they bring to life,
A fit and stare then memories of strife struck out,
But no – you were wrong.
There in the corner is your sin,
Laughing at you, as you begin to fall asleep again.
You cannot shake off the feelings, they visit now and again,
The wolf sneering from the coven den.
Leave me be! – I have run this marathon!
The stars twinkle forgotten in the middle of the night,
The moon leers through the window but I’m not there tonight,
The devil grins – whispers to me, to me ,to me …
You cannot sleep again tonight because of your memories.
My time has come, a calling to the north
From the deepest deep, my soul creeps to the end of the lake,
I my thirst slake, before I finally realise I have to go.
How many ?
How many rivers do I have to cross ?
Am I lost – to the wrath of waters wild,
I am against everything I know,
I am against the river flow,
Silver shiny spaceships up waterfalls go,
Like shimmering angel dust, me and beside me those I know,
Above the crests and rumble of churning water,
Fall onto our heads the sky, threaded with wisps of drizzle,
And daunting cliffs of fear.
But I have to go,
How many lakes up the river do I have to go?
How deep in my mind does the darkness live?
To the inner child I used to know.
For in these foreign lands spanning the lakes,
Are predators unusual and the common snakes,
Over many toils and snares I have already come,
Many mistakes unravelled and discovering the beginnings of some,
My ancestors have crushed upon my soul, the calling of old.
My future – like theirs – has been foretold,
My silver seed shall spread in the arms of the warm sun,
A lover I have ne’er known, there, shall bear me forgotten sons,
And then I will leave, ne’er to look back,
My duty and day been done.
For then I will have found the playground of my youth,
Where I was born, the beginning of truth,
A lost son I am – my father long gone,
A memory of the lakes drenched by the sun,
And then I, like my father, will go,
To where the embryos are none,
To where the shadows run,
And run out our memories of our lives,
To feel the keel split by knives,
To drift into a dizzy spell,
a drunken embrace,
a submission to the wilderness
To face up to my past one more time
How many rivers have I crossed,
For this long to last ?
Soft silver honeydew drops plop
Onto red lips crimson flecked,
Tulips bedded down brushed thread
Across my mouth and forehead.
Flaked copper green wash screams from your eyes, dreams,
Their forked tongue corona feels out my mind,
I breathe in the fumes and tendrils of perfumes of
You and sweat and salty reams tangy sparkles in streams tangerine
Hypnotic, as locked lipped lovers leap
Into oblivion deep
Arms legs ankles steeped in the rasping sheets
I love you that deep.